I really need some support/advice/anything please

[diadora]

Ok so I originally had this somewhere else but I guess it was in the wrong spot and a mod moved it to sex, love, and relationships but I don't really feel like that was the right place for it either, so I decided to give it another shot and post it here. Last time I move it promise.

I just really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we literally do everything together. about a year after we started dating we started messing around with pills: opana, oc, any form of painkiller. about six months ago we started iv heroin because the pills just weren't affordable anymore and as our tolerance went up we needed something stronger. two days ago his parents found needles. Somehow we have managed to keep our problem a secret from both of our family's the entire time, but no the secrets out and everything is so messed up. His family is extremely catholic and very traditional, and as soon as they found out they blocked me on his facebook and shut off his phone etc, and have forbidden me to talk to him or see him. I believe he is going to a 30 day rehab center, but since his parents won't tell me or my family anything I really don't know where he is. I should also probably mention that they called my family and filled them in on everything as well. since they got a hold of his phone and facebook they know just about everything. I start in an outpatient rehab tomorrow, by choice. We were leaving for university this august, and we had been working on limiting ourselves and to get our addiction under control and we were actually making a lot of progress. I understand that his family is upset, but they went as far as to get a lawyer and have him call my mom and tell her that if i try to contact my bf or anyone in his family that they are calling the police and handing over all the evidence they have that I was using/selling to support the habit. I just feel really betrayed and lost because I thought of his family as a second family, and I have literally spent every minute of the past three years with my bf and I don't know what to do without him. I just wish they would let me talk to him just once, but theyre saying that even if we both get clean that I am not going to be able to see him. I have every intention of waiting for him and sticking with him through this, and even though I haven't talked to him I know he's thinking the same thing. we are both 18, but will they be able to find a way to prevent him from writing to me once he is able to? what about calling? I'm worried they are blackmailing him by saying that if he were to call me that they would try to have me arrested. I just feel so lost without my other half and I can't bring myself to even leave my room. Anyone have any advice on what I should do or how I should deal with his family? please help

 

[Beat It]

Try to stay calm, I don't think without any drugs, that the police could press any charges against you. There's no physical proof that you were dealing. Worst off, you would be put on a suspected drug dealing list but that is doubtful seeing as you were likely small time. If you were distributing on a large scale I might be worried, I would just lay low and not hold onto any of your drugs. Or at least keep them some place other than your home. They are just trying to scare you.

Right now, try to trust that he is going to be okay. I know how overwhelming it can be to not be able to talk to the person you love. He is going to be okay, especially if he's going into rehab. I think its a good idea to check yourself into a rehab program. If you really want to see your boyfriend again, it will be much more likely if you get sober. Relationships don't work out if one person tries to get sober and the other one doesn't.

I'de hate to say it, but if you guys were enabling each other this might be for the best in the end. You guys are heading down a very dark road together. Hopefully you guys can get sober and work it out.

 

[podsnomo]

Probably the last thing you wanna hear, but being apart is the best for you. You've gotten an awfully early start on a really dark and dangerous road. Your use together will make living clean, and together, almost impossible, and more than likely, a very bad idea.

Spending that much time together is more than love, it's also soe of the bittersweet darkside of love, codependency and enabling. You'll learn about this in rehab.

I urge you to be fearless and thorough from the very start, to keep an open mind, and though you hate to hear it, remember that you are very young and have the whole world and your whole life to live.

If you do have to suffer the tragedy of losing the one you love, please know that you will know love again, and you can fulfill your deepest most beautiful desires and dreams in life if you stay clean.

I might sound like a hard-hearted 30-something jerk, but my heart breaks for you.

I hope with all my heart that you find your way through this.

warmest regards,
pnm