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I really need some help and advice so please help if you can.

K

kaylee.wise

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 1, 2012
Messages
38
For years my dad has pressured and makes my mom get high off drugs and im not talking about no weed its heavy drugs but i dont seem to figure out what he gives her. But when shes on it she looks really messed up, all the time i see my mom high and it hurts me alot i dont know why he is doing this to her because she does everything for him such as scrub the floor he walks on. I hate my dad and i been hating him for years he is a bad person and i feel hes killing my mom, i tried everything to stop him from doing this to her but all i got was laughed at, beaten on, kicked out of the house, hated on by everyone, and hurt. So i left and moved in with my friends for a year because i couldn't watch it happen anymore and all it did was hurt me. I was feeling better when i left because i wasnt around and seeing what he was doing to my mom until my mom called me and told me to come back home because she wanted me to be with her. My mom means the world to me so of course i came back but now everything is the same on how it was before but i feel like its gotten worse. I hurt everyday and i feel like im losing my mom, she has different personalities and she is in denial when i bring it up all she does is fight with me or start talking shit. My friends tell me to stayy with her and be with her for as long as i can because i wil regret it later in life if i didnt and shes gone. But i cant stay here if its going to continue its just destroying me and hurting me making me sick. But i want to be here for my mom. I dont know what to do anymore someone please help me with some advice i would really appreciate it.
 
I had just noticed this post which gives me a lot more insight. I would still like to know your age. I am very close to my mother and couldnt imagine what you are going through as far as your family life goes, however I have seen the same situation first hand through my fiance. His mother did free-base cocaine throughout his whole life. He had the opportunity to move in with his dad because it was a hard life living with a mother who was like that 24/7. His lived with his dad for about a year and went back when his mom asked him to because he loves his mom and wanted to be with her despite her demons. As he grew older he began to understand more and more that the drugs were more important than he was to her. I know that is hard to hear given your situation but it was the truth in his situation. He is 35 now and he and I had a child a year ago. She said she was cleaned and seemed to prove its....she was in the delivery room with me! We found out about two weeks ago after he and she worked the past year to rebuild their relationship, that she had gone on two binges recently.......let me put it this way....she missed her only grandson's first b-day and broke her first born's heart yet again. I can also go into my personal battle with addiction and recovery but I dont believe that would be too helpful for you at this point. However my point is from my personal experiences and his experience with his mother, drugs get a HOLD on people that can become so great that they no longer have control over their own life whatsoever. It gets to the point that they are no longer themselves but simply an addict....that becomes their new identity. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you or anyone else can do to help her....does that mean give up on her?? NO!!! you can still love her and be their for her but don't let what SHE has ALLOWED your father to do to her and what she has chosen to do to herself affect who you are or become......SERIOUSLY. My fiance is a perfect example that just because you are raised in a certain environment your whole life does not mean you will go down that road. All three of his brothers did because they did not get away from her destuctive lifestyle. He made the decision to move in with his dad for good and was on his own by age 17. It took a long time but he has a good life now (he had to work hard) and the drug he uses is pot.....I feel with all my heart that you are not stupid, you are a smart girl....I think you can get what im trying to tell you....Good luck girl...im here for ya <3
 
ahww thankyouu i really appriciate that. Im 19 years old, i know that drugs can change a person and how they act and thats true because my mom did change and i can tell shes losing it i just want to save her and i want her to be here forever with me and not die at a young age because of drugs. I just dont know what to do because my dad always puts her on them and i dont know anyway to stop it and i dont want to wait too long before its too late. But what can i do? And i can leave again and stay away from it but i dont want to leave her because i feel like shes crying out for help but shes afraid shes going to lose everything if she doesnt stay with him, so therefore she wont leave him. But then i do want to leave because its really bad over here for me and my dad does everything to fuck up my life and like i said i dont like seeing everything he does to her. But then if i do leave i feel like im leaving my mom and not bieng with her or helping her out and im afraid that if i do leave later on in the future i dont know where im going to be because i still need to go to school and get some type of money because i have none right now and its not easy living life today expecially if your on your own with nothing. And if i dont go stay with my friends now im afraid that when i do need them im going to lose touch with them. So what should i do? Stay with my mom and just go thru hell everyday and hurt and feel sick? or Leave and just try and make it on my own?
 
Welcome! :)
You are in the right place. Bluelight is not only a great source of info,but also a strong and supportive community! <3

CH is right...check out TDS(The Dark Side). I think it will be right up your alley! :)
Stay strong and let us know if we can be of any help.

Much peace and love.......................skillz <3
 
Moderators? Im new to this site so i dont really know much about it. I really do like this website Skillz and everyone who is helping me out with advice i really appreciate. Im happy i found Bluelight and i will check out (the dark side). Thankyouu. Now this problem i have, the one i posted i need more advice on what to do, so hopefully i will find something....
 
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