I'm going to try writing a blog post when I'm in a relatively good mood this time and less prone to rants :D
So it's been ten days since I've touched any kind of opiate whatsoever. Bit longer off heroin. An aMT trip around that time helped me realise what I've been doing to myself and that it really is time to get clean before it's too late to fix things. Honestly, so far it's really been hell. Psychological withdrawals are truly getting to me and I didn't even know it was possible to experience such intense mood swings. I wrote a suicide note earlier this afternoon and two hours later I was feeling pleasant and cheery. It genuinely is impossible to describe the emptiness coming off opiates is making me feel and with every second I just have more respect for anyone who's actually managed to do so.
Anyway, aside from that...I'm moving back to Paris tomorrow for the summer. Definitely looking forward to that since I'll have all my old 'real' friends around, but in the meantime the packing and moving from one country to another on my own isn't helping with stress. But hey, this time tomorrow it'll be done. Just gotta get through the day.
I'm starting an internship at this really big deal publishing company next monday for the month. It's quite literally the opportunity of a lifetime since I'm going to be making a ton of contacts, meeting authors etc., so I really can't mess this up. Hopefully my mood will have stabilised just enough by then to enable me to make something out of myself.
Hm...really nothing interesting going on in my life actually. Just thought I'd take this opportunity to write a slightly nicer blog post than the previous ones have been.
So it's been ten days since I've touched any kind of opiate whatsoever. Bit longer off heroin. An aMT trip around that time helped me realise what I've been doing to myself and that it really is time to get clean before it's too late to fix things. Honestly, so far it's really been hell. Psychological withdrawals are truly getting to me and I didn't even know it was possible to experience such intense mood swings. I wrote a suicide note earlier this afternoon and two hours later I was feeling pleasant and cheery. It genuinely is impossible to describe the emptiness coming off opiates is making me feel and with every second I just have more respect for anyone who's actually managed to do so.
Anyway, aside from that...I'm moving back to Paris tomorrow for the summer. Definitely looking forward to that since I'll have all my old 'real' friends around, but in the meantime the packing and moving from one country to another on my own isn't helping with stress. But hey, this time tomorrow it'll be done. Just gotta get through the day.
I'm starting an internship at this really big deal publishing company next monday for the month. It's quite literally the opportunity of a lifetime since I'm going to be making a ton of contacts, meeting authors etc., so I really can't mess this up. Hopefully my mood will have stabilised just enough by then to enable me to make something out of myself.
Hm...really nothing interesting going on in my life actually. Just thought I'd take this opportunity to write a slightly nicer blog post than the previous ones have been.
