Thats exactly the come up I have. It's been that way since I first took the stuff 9 years ago. It's just part of the experience. I know the exact thought process you're going through, its the whole "oh fuck i'm going to die why did i take this what am i doing here get me outttttt". And then poof, all that fades away to the heavenly feeling that is rolling. I think it has something to do with a rush of serotonin triggering some highly emotional fight or flight response. I only get this with MDMA and no other drug I've ever taken. A comeup from a psychedelic like LSD can be difficult, but not in the same way that MDMA blasts me with this sheer intensity. Almost makes me feel like I'm going to pass out.
On the bright side, I notice people who have the crazy comeup are generally more sensitive to the stuff and it takes less to get you where you want to be. It's not uncommon, seems to be like a good 1/4 people get this just from what I've read/experienced. Pretty much only males as well, I have my own theory on why but thats for another thread lol.
I've tried staggering the doses, but I find its just better to get it over with. It might seem like a long time, but the intense come up is usually no more than 20 minutes long, if that.
Two approaches to dealing with this comeup:
Personally, I like to just excuse myself from the social situation, get myself out of any crowd i might be in, and take a walk by myself or with another person and just breathe really deeply. Maybe grab some water, sit down for a moment and just collect myself.
Or... My friend's strategy is just dance it off and focus on the music as much as possible and before you know it the comeup is over. I tried this, but just get too hot during the comeup and my mind fills with paranoia about dehydration/overheating and I just have to get myself out of there.
Another thing that helps is always making sure you have tested and confirmed clean MDMA. This certainly helps in the "oh shit i'm going to die" stage since you can reassure yourself what you took was just good MDMA, a relatively very safe drug, and everything is going to be ok. The peace of mind is worth a lot here.