MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
Needed to get some emotion out tonight....
So here it is. Untitled.
No matter what I do this isn't working.
It's not me, its not you, its just fucked.
It's like a tiny space filled with dominoes, standing
on end. One is fallen over, so I reach in and try
to stand it up and in doing so, I knock the other
ones over.
And so on.
You don't like me. You don't understand me. I'm a strange
being that hurts you, confuses you, leaves you behind.
I walk through this toxic world in a bubble of attempted
purity while you welcome the corruption.
A pale slender alien I am in a place which makes no
sense to me, and I move forward as loud and as silent
as one can be at the same time.
You don't get me, and you are just a mirror
for me of everything that doesn't fit.
I already know what doesn't fit.
I don't want to fit.
I like to be alien.
Silently I float along, calculating my movements.
I am both controlled and free.
I'm impossible to tame so don't try. No one can lock
me in.
I'll burn you like fire and acid with my love.
I can't be compassionate as I like. Do you deserve
better? What is better? Don't I deserve better as well?
Scar tissue can only be ripped and healed so many times
before it doesn't rip any longer.
My compassion lies in the grand picture not the pieces
of the puzzle. I don't have room to wait for you to
figure yourself out.
I'm rolling away, rolling downhill like a
snowball, gathering speed, my center hardening
and packing in. My center cold.
Let me fade away in your eyes just as I've faded
in everyone elses.
I don't matter.
I'm not real.
I'm not even here.
I'm gone.
So here it is. Untitled.
No matter what I do this isn't working.
It's not me, its not you, its just fucked.
It's like a tiny space filled with dominoes, standing
on end. One is fallen over, so I reach in and try
to stand it up and in doing so, I knock the other
ones over.
And so on.
You don't like me. You don't understand me. I'm a strange
being that hurts you, confuses you, leaves you behind.
I walk through this toxic world in a bubble of attempted
purity while you welcome the corruption.
A pale slender alien I am in a place which makes no
sense to me, and I move forward as loud and as silent
as one can be at the same time.
You don't get me, and you are just a mirror
for me of everything that doesn't fit.
I already know what doesn't fit.
I don't want to fit.
I like to be alien.
Silently I float along, calculating my movements.
I am both controlled and free.
I'm impossible to tame so don't try. No one can lock
me in.
I'll burn you like fire and acid with my love.
I can't be compassionate as I like. Do you deserve
better? What is better? Don't I deserve better as well?
Scar tissue can only be ripped and healed so many times
before it doesn't rip any longer.
My compassion lies in the grand picture not the pieces
of the puzzle. I don't have room to wait for you to
figure yourself out.
I'm rolling away, rolling downhill like a
snowball, gathering speed, my center hardening
and packing in. My center cold.
Let me fade away in your eyes just as I've faded
in everyone elses.
I don't matter.
I'm not real.
I'm not even here.
I'm gone.
