Opioids I "overdosed" on one-eighth (1/8) of a bag

[Pillsbury_Dope_Boy]

I posted last week about my (ultimately failed) detox attempt with imodium.

Went back to using dope/fent/whatever it is they are selling these days. First time I used was Saturday. I did maybe 3/4 of a bag and blacked out but did not pass out.

Sunday I went back and I literally did one-eighth of a bag. Of course I have no way to measure that, so I could be off. But I dumped around half the bag (or less) in the cooker and then drew approximately 1/4 of the solution into my syringe. So 1/4 of 1/2 = 1/8.

It hit me very hard. Far stronger than I was expecting. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in an ambulance and being Narcan-ed.

I put "overdose" in quotes because there have been several times I passed out and no ambulance showed up to Narcan me, and I woke up an hour or two later. So I doubt I would have died. But of course it is risky and dangerous and if I keep down this road, I will indeed overdose for real one day.

I have little doubt I would have died if I had done, say, half the bag.

Also, it has been around 15 hours since I did the shot. I have taken no opioids since then. And I am not in withdrawal, which is very weird since my withdrawal prior to using was pretty intense just a few days ago, and since then I've spent several days on opioids.

Could it be that the Narcan somehow "reset" my receptors?

Idk. This is all very weird. I just went 3 weeks where my acute withdrawal literally did not go away and just continued to be unbearable despite me only taking Imodium and no real opioids. Then I "overdosed" on one-eigh of a bag. And now I am no longer dopesick. Wtf is going on.

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm glad you're alive, that's scary. Goes to show how fucked up the fentadope situation is, and how you simply can't ever rely on how strong it is. This shit has hot spots, it's not mixed uniformly. One day 3/4 of a bag can be the right dose, the next day 1/8 of a bag can overdose you.

Not sure about the lack of withdrawal, but I hope you try to avoid dosing and see if you can take advantage of that.

 

[Pillsbury_Dope_Boy]

Yeah this shit is crazy.

I spent almost a month going through w/d and then right when it was beginning to get better, I relapsed.

I am consciously making this choice. IV heroin/opoids is such a powerful rush, I cannot say "no" to it.

I honestly would rather just overdose and be done with it than be a life-long addict (that is NOT to say I wish to die. I don't. I want to be clean. What I DON'T want is to live a life hopping between suboxone, methadone, dope, and be unstable and only semi-functional my whole life).

I am 30 btw, and have been using on-and-off since I was 18.

It's crazy. I was doing so good last week. Despite the withdrawals lasting way long, I felt lucid for the first time in years. And then all of a sudden it was like something else "took over" me. Some religious/spiritual people would refer to that as a "demonic presence" or whatever. I don't know. But I do know that something drove me to relapse. I was not even particularly depressed or anxious. Something just drove me to do it and I felt like I had no control.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

You're better off just always accepting that you could drop like a fly at any moment. I'm sorry but there's just only so much "harm reduction" anyone can do with heroin. People incredibly meticulous getting away with it for decades have dropped dead randomly at some point or another. People think that heroin is "just another opiate." Its the queen of drugs lol.

The best "advice" I can give anyone when it comes to heroin and safety is just to have some Narcan stashed away for when you die and need to be brought back to life. One batch of heroin could give you the best week of your life or kill Moby Dick from one line. It is just Russian Roulette and assuming that you will not overdose without that emergency life-saving Narcan card is quite literally what has killed thousands and thousands of too many people.

 

[Xorkoth]

It's crazy. I was doing so good last week. Despite the withdrawals lasting way long, I felt lucid for the first time in years. And then all of a sudden it was like something else "took over" me. Some religious/spiritual people would refer to that as a "demonic presence" or whatever. I don't know. But I do know that something drove me to relapse. I was not even particularly depressed or anxious. Something just drove me to do it and I felt like I had no control.

Addiction is scary because you become your own worst enemy. I know exactly the feeling you're talking about. I have had it happen at some point out of nowhere, every time I have gotten clean and returned to feeling good without opiates. The only time it didn't happen was after I did ibogaine in 2014... I did a flood dose and had 5 years clean, didn't even think about opiates anymore for years, at all. I was positive I was cured forever, but then my dad got ALS and was dying and the last time I visited him, I was feeling so overwhelmed, and my mom handed me his nearly empty bottle of morphine liquid to throw away and I just drank some of it without thinking. Since then I have been addicted to opiates on and off (mostly on) and it broke the spell and I am my own worst enemy with that shit again.

I do know it's possible to get past it, because I did. I feel like if I can get past the withdrawals and get back to feeling good without opiates again, I can stay away, because I HATE HATE HATE being addicted to them. But then again, I have always fucked myself up again at some point, ever since I started.

Trying opiates was the worst decision I have ever made, or will ever make.

 

[nznity]

It seems like one part of the bag contained a big Chunk of hot spot.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

If you want to avoid hot spots form and entire water solution out of the entire bag dissolving everything. Then store that water in the fridge and shoot that whenever you fix

Just mixing up one shot from the bag of powder you can get hotspot

 

[Pillsbury_Dope_Boy]

I came to the realization that I was not ready to get off the subs.

I actually kinda had another bad/scary experience with dope earlier today. This kind of shit NEVER happened when I was on subs. I mean, sure, I used every few weeks/months. Actually the relapses were fewer and far between (I'm not excusing it, but relapsing every few months is better than using every day and risking death).

The subs also increase my tolerance and have a sort of blocking effect.

So yeah, it's back on subs for the moment. Any advice on dosing? I was taking 2mg twice a day before. I would like to take less (or taper) this time. Subs are not something I want to be on forever.

Thanks for the responses!

 

[Xorkoth]

Getting down to 2mg a day on bupe is pretty easy, because 2mg is the level at which your receptors become saturated, so you don't really get much higher at a higher dose, it just lasts longer. Reducing below 2mg per day becomes more difficult. But I have been able to get down to 1mg per day without much pain, and then you can slowly taper down from there.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I posted last week about my (ultimately failed) detox attempt with imodium.

Went back to using dope/fent/whatever it is they are selling these days. First time I used was Saturday. I did maybe 3/4 of a bag and blacked out but did not pass out.

Sunday I went back and I literally did one-eighth of a bag. Of course I have no way to measure that, so I could be off. But I dumped around half the bag (or less) in the cooker and then drew approximately 1/4 of the solution into my syringe. So 1/4 of 1/2 = 1/8.

It hit me very hard. Far stronger than I was expecting. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in an ambulance and being Narcan-ed.

I put "overdose" in quotes because there have been several times I passed out and no ambulance showed up to Narcan me, and I woke up an hour or two later. So I doubt I would have died. But of course it is risky and dangerous and if I keep down this road, I will indeed overdose for real one day.

I have little doubt I would have died if I had done, say, half the bag.

Also, it has been around 15 hours since I did the shot. I have taken no opioids since then. And I am not in withdrawal, which is very weird since my withdrawal prior to using was pretty intense just a few days ago, and since then I've spent several days on opioids.

Could it be that the Narcan somehow "reset" my receptors?

Idk. This is all very weird. I just went 3 weeks where my acute withdrawal literally did not go away and just continued to be unbearable despite me only taking Imodium and no real opioids. Then I "overdosed" on one-eigh of a bag. And now I am no longer dopesick. Wtf is going on.

Something peculiar seems to be going on with your metabolism. There is no way that Narcan can 'reset' your receptors ; there's no mechanism for it to do that. It's a simple pure antagonist that blocks opiates from your receptors so long as it's in your system, that's it.

Btw a total black - out is still a form of overdose, even if you eventually come round by yourself and don't require medical assistance. And having many non-fatal overdoses can result in accumulative brain damage if your respiration rate falls below a certain level for as little as a few minutes while you're unconscious, so go careful