I need your help :/

[IamMyself]

Hello,
I just had a few questions, I have been wanting to ask someone this for a long time but I was just too shy and everyone on this site is nice so I thought you guys could help

Okay , so I have rolled once in my whole life time, i'm a freshman, pretty young. I was pretty scared and just went for it (I was depressed at the time) . It was a funny, odd, life changing experience. When I said life changing, it wasn't a good kind of life changing. After that roll, I lost my social skills and my appearance. I don't know if it was my depression that changed me or the roll. After taking it, I never have felt the same ( I took it about 8 months ago ). I use to be soooo good at talking with people and making people happy and laugh but now I can't even talk to people because i'm boring and not interesting. I use to get all the girls but nope, now I am ugly and no girls like me and I can't talk to girls like I use to. I use to be able to pull girls easily just by talking with them for like 5 minutes. I can't really explain exactly how it changed me. I wish I was how I was 9 months ago.

 

[!_MDMA_!]

i dont think its the ecstasy. like u said u were depressed at the time and it sounds like 8 months of untreated could have steam rolled over your life. ive never found ecstasy to do that, infact communicating with people like u do when you roll (knowing such a bond is possible) has helped me become more social at times. i would see a doctor, psychiatrist, or guidance counselor. ecstasy couldnt have killed your appearance, usually its a result of neglect and poor hygeine. have you been using other drugs since?

 

[IamMyself]

I am a pretty boy and try to take care of myself :D Nope, no drugs at all ever since... I don't act the same, I use to be FULL of happiness and laughter but then I popped a roll and after that I couldn't talk to girls like I use to be able to or make anyone laugh etc. I am basically boring now :/

 

[jsnake]

Pretty much what !_MDMA_! said, unless it was a dud pill with some brain damaging chemical which is pretty unlikely, all things considered, I'd say it's the depression. X doesn't make you ugly...
What was your buzz like? Did you enjoy it? How old are you?

 

[hyroller]

I doubt it contained MDMA in that case

Not really sure what went wrong - I'd seek psychotherapy in your position though.....

 

[Sykoknot]

jsnake: Considering he is a freshman im guessing 13-14yo.
I believe it could be the roll. But not because of the chemical effect, or even his experience, but that in the past months he has convinced himself that it was the roll. I had a horrible acid trip that caused me tons of anxiety for months after. It was only when I accepted that I had anxiety issues, regardless of the LSD trip, that I started to recover.


It sounds like depression, with social anxiety (which often times goes hand in hand). When he says 'appearance' I have a feeling he's not talking about physical appearance, but rather his personality. What he saw himself as was lost. I had similar feelings when I was struggling through depression.

Anywhoo, IamMyself, like others have said, find a psychologist. There is a mental condition here that needs to be treated. Also know that all therapy sessions are confidential, and that you need to explain the use of ecstasy. Your therapist cannot tell your parents, due to confidentiality. I wouldn't recommend a psychiatrist, as they are likely to put you on anti-depressants, which truly dont seem necessary in your case.

Here are some tips that could help:

-Exercise. Physical activity releases endorphins that make you feel good. Try to exercise at least 5 times a week,
-Eat healthier. Cut down on fast food (if you eat it alot) and try to make sure you get three substantial meals a day. Also cut out caffeine completely, this can be crucial for some people.
-Talk to your parents about how you feel. I understand that you may not want to mention the ecstasy use, but try to explain your feelings detailed to them.
-Try to let go of the link between how you feel now and your roll. At this point, the roll has no true impact on how you feel now.

I wish you all the best, man. Keep us updated.

 

[halley]

nothing wrong with being a boring guy, trust me on this, find a boring girl, settle down, live a boring life, have sex that to others seems boring but to both of you seems amazingly wild.

I'd 2nd the attention to diet thing in regards to your mood and how your body feels.

Social skills: same advice to everyone with poor social skills. Social skills are just that, skills. You can develop them like any skill. Let's assume this chemical thing doesn't is not a placebo effect, is lasting, and it's true you aren't able to make girls laugh the way you used to, well then you've got to push yourself to be more outgoing and clever in new ways, but that's not the important thing. The important thing is practice. Just walk up to strangers and start conversations. Example conversation starters: "How you doing today?"; "this for lunch again? do you like this stuff?"; "hey there, mind if I sit down next to you?"; "What are you reading?... what do you think about it?" You will screw up a few times, and you won't die from it, and that's what will make you even less afraid the next time you do it.

The most valuable advice I have ever heard/read about making friends, forget who its from: "It is far easier to make friends by being genuinely interested in others, than it is to try to get others to be genuinely interested in you." so really, even if you seem boring on the outside, and they seem boring on the outside, if you get talking and ask some good questions, you can hear some pretty mindblowing stuff.

Still, that doesn't mean be a doormat or forbid yourself from talking about yourself, everyone loves someone who's confident and sticks up for themselves; anyone who's not a dick will be fine with you being friendly, assertive, and interested in what they have to say.

Part of the thing is you're a freshman in HS, maybe part of this is getting into HS and it just being a completely different social environment, with everyone in your grade adapting to that new environment in a couple months.