I need to taper ASAP from benzos, scared to confess to DR about my usage/tolerance..

Stimlover22

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Jul 11, 2012
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I have a serious benzo habit, I went through my entire script of (15) Restoril 15mg in 24 hours and felt no effects (225mg total) ,didnt even sleep and no anxiety relief. I have a history of abusing the shit out of RC benzos like flubromazolam, etizolam and clonazolam(not Pam) until I ran out of both of those a couple weeks ago. I'm beyond amazed that I felt zero effect from Temazepam, being that it's a strong hypnotic.
I admit, it was definitely stupid to pop them like skittles but I kept hoping I would finally hit a sweet spot so I could pass the fuck out, since my tolerance was obviously rearing its head..
I just kept popping em every few hour or so and continued popping em because I simply couldn't sleep and was dying to fall asleep. I thought Temazepam was supposed to be a strong benzo, and I never feel jack shit from them. They almost feel like placebo to me.
I know my benzo tolerance is probably through the roof, but I can still take 4-5mgs of etizolam or 2mg of clonazolam and feel sorta relaxed for a good min, yet I'm flabbergasted that I absolutely feel zero effects at all from Restoril??
I've always been a chronic insomniac. My insomnia is so debilitating that I have been self-medicating myself with RC benzos for several (about 9) months now, after many a trial and error with several prescription non benzo sedatives he put me on such as trazodone, seroquel, remeron, and ambien and none of em ever worked for me.. this is what prompted my pdoc to finally write me a RX for Restoril recently.
I've never found any benzos to be euphoric, nor is that why I sought after RC benzos to self medicate my insomnia to begin with.. way before I finally scored a script for the temazepam. I'm psychologically and probably physically dependent.
I really don't wish to use them anymore and that's the truth, but the problem is that my mindset is so addictive that I feel I can't go without them in order to sleep.
I feel so lost, and I guess I played with fire and got burned this time. I haven't a clue how to break this vicious cycle. I'm not about to tell my doctor that I have self medicated myself this past year with RC benzos and that I can eat those restoril's like m&m's. I fear if I tell him about the RC's and my higher than hell tolerance.. that he will flag me as a drug abuser. I would probably get a taper plan I'm sure, but that's not worth the risk to me. Is it possible to taper oneself down using the RC analogue of diazepam "diclazepam", and if so how would I begin to figure out a taper plan?
 
I don't blame you for being reluctant to tell your doctor about your rc benzo abuse. After using them for so long, I would say you're dependent. I agree, it is a vicious cycle because the more you take, the more you need and they become less effective. The post above has outlined the Ashton method of tapering. Do you think you have the self-discipline to do this on your own? You may be better off going into a detox setting. That way you can be monitored. How are you feeling now?
 
Joining the dots (correct me if I'm wrong)....you ran out of RC benzos a couple of weeks ago, in the interim period you haven't consumed any other than temazepam during one 24 hour period, you are not really in withdrawal? If this is the case you definitely do not need a taper, a taper is for when you have a solid and continuous physical dependance that is either unsafe to stop immediately or you are unable to stop immediately. If that is in fact the case then no do not try and taper using RC benzos, do it the proper way and don't risk getting yourself in far deeper than you already are.
 
Why are you worried about your doctor flagging you a drug user if you open up to him about your benzo abuse?

If you want to get help and really change your ways, you will have to open up to your doctor, and he will have to treat you a little bit different TO help you.
 
Why are you worried about your doctor flagging you a drug user if you open up to him about your benzo abuse?

If you want to get help and really change your ways, you will have to open up to your doctor, and he will have to treat you a little bit different TO help you.

I think his concern is perfectly valid. I am flagged as a drug user and it makes my life much more complicated when it comes to health care.

I agree that if your not in withdrawal after that long of not having any then you don't need a taper.
 
I think maybe you should tell your doctor about it. That's what I did except now they think that I have some drug problem but it's probably the best way to go about it. Your doctor could actually help you.
 
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