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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I need to STOP...

Quick peek in.



Now I'm assuming you are referring to the Zanax and SOMA as the Benzos..... ?
I may be willing to explain not willing to fess up tomorrow. I'm taking one 30 with me. I usually carry the bottle.
I bought 200 blue football shaped Alprzam?.. (I removed the label) from a sealed labeled bottle. A month or so ago.
Are they 'one bar'. One mg?


Another answer. Yes my wife knew I quit drinking. Its hard to miss. Did she help? NO.
I didn't really ask/require it. I was My problem and I just knew I had to stop.

Thanks for all the concern. Gtg.
BTW Dave. You see it. And seem know I HAVE to do it. There's room for error in this... But not for failure.
 
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Be careful with the all-or-nothing mentality. That way leads to ruin. I sympathize, but I can't empathize as I haven't been where you are. Don't close your ears to some of the excellent advice that has been given-- these people have been through hell, and can offer excellent experience.

Yes, xanax and soma are the benzos. Ditto alpralozam. Focus on the oxys now, but be really careful with those, as you'll need to taper for much longer to get off of benzos safely. Cold turkey isn't an option there, unless you like grand mal seizures and cardiac arrest.

You have to do this. Yes. But you don't have to do it alone. At the very least, keep us all posted, so that we can advise you.
 
Phew. I made it. I even stretched it 10 minutes.
Ugly morning though.
My co worker said, 'Dude....why are you sweating...? its 20 degrees out'

Will my body adjust to the lower dosages? And I will feel better?
Or will I continue to feel shitty until they are out of my system?
I'm hoping my body will adjust... then I cut back again...?
Wishful thinking? Or is that how tapering works?

I know you all advocate telling my wife. But you have to understand... I love her to death...but she would be more of a hindrance than a help.
Not only does she frown on drug use... we suspect her dad died- in a small part- to withdrawals in an unexpected hospitalization.
Living with 'Chicken-Little' will not help me.
I think my problem is physical, not mental. I had a good life six months ago.
I know I have an addictive personality and I went a bit overboard with the oxy's.

I don't feel alone in this when you guys respond.
 
Newquiter, I admire your resolve and I don't want to add any more to the arguments about whether to tell your family, doctor, community, etc. as you have made it clear where you stand. While I am a big proponent of disclosing everything, like everything, it is your choice.
What I wanted to add is that it sounds like you are the kind of man that takes on a lot, shoulders the responsibility alone and plows ahead no matter what. I am married to a man like that and it is both his strength and his weakness. Starting and running a company (especially in the current economy!) is no easy feat; doing that while being a father to four kids is monumental!. The way that you are insisting on shouldering this addiction and recovery alone is in keeping with how you probably approach everything in your life. While I have great admiration for your resolve I wonder if it would not be beneficial for you to examine the feeling that you have to shoulder everything by yourself at all times. Maybe that was part of slipping into the abuse that became addiction?

I know that right now you are focused on simply getting the facts you need from people that have experience with what you are attempting. That is fine and makes perfect sense.But as Dave said, paws are real and extended long past WDs and so is the need that led to the problem in the first place. Maybe the need to carry everything for everybody, to always have to go it alone is something that you could explore? Many very strong men end up falling into this trap.For my husband it took a near fatal heart attack in his 40's to make him reevaluate his thinking.I think that it could really help in your continued abstinence once you get through the taper.

I hope that the rest of today goes quickly and that your physical symptoms are bearable. Much love and support.<3
 
BTW OP, good work! Although I might promote a different approach than what you're doing, well, I do understand where you're coming from. If it's going to be more of a hindrance than a help for your S.O. to be made aware of your struggles, then, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I can understand that.

Still, it makes me a little sad people such as your S.O. can't be more open or receptive... Why can't we all just get along sort of sappy feelings. Ignore my b.s.

Just keep up the good work mi companero! You already got this cat in its bag! As they say... somewhere... I am not sure where... Again, ignore me. :)
 
Hey sweetie! I know what you're going through. I am trying to do a home detox from hydrocodone right now. In the past I had a habit that was much bigger than yours and I managed to quit so so can you! Of course I relapsed but that's another story.
Methadone was very helpful for me but it's a big pain in the ass to have to go to a clinic and it's very difficult to hide that from your family (also the WDs are pretty bad from methadone). So I would do a taper. A slow taper, where you are lowering your dose no more than 25% every few weeks or month is best if possible from what I've read and been told by doctors. It sounds like you are doing a great job with your taper. I agree with what other posters said about being careful tapering off the benzos. Also, Clonidine is very helpful during WDs. I can't list a source on here (against the rules) but I have ordered it online without a prescription before.
Obviously as other posters stated it would be better to do this under a doctor's supervision and with your family's support. However, you feel strongly about not going this route so I'll share a tip that worked for me in the past. Tell everyone that you have the flu or a stomach bug. That will explain any visible WDs as long as they don't last too long. Good luck hon!
 
Oops...
I didn't realize we made it to page 2.

So VanWeyden here's my schedule atm.
I waited until 12:10pm and took half of a thirty I took to work. I felt pretty shitty all morning but I waited.
I made it until 5 pm exactly and took the other half. I didn't feel too bad but by 3 pm I had a hazy, foggy feeling.
I barely ate lunch but I drank 2 bottles of Gatorade. I usually get my appetite after the somas.

Its almost six now and will continue taking 2 zanax at 6:30. Until we started talking I was pushing myself up to 3 at night.
I will not go up over 2 again. I hear your collective benz warnings.

I will also take the soma but will keep them at 1.5 pills.

So... at this point... I'm using 30 mg. Down a lot from 100 mg.

I'm not feeling real 'sharp' but... gotta start somewhere?

Will my body adjust to the 30? Is that when I drop dose again?

Or will I just feel crappy the whole time? If that's the case... I may just go cold turkey after a week or so at 30 and get it over with.
I'm not sure of the best route.

I can start a new thread to eliminate all the scrolling...?
 
OK, that is a huge drop, you took only 30 mg today? I suggested you take 30 in the morning, 15 at noon, 30 in the evening. Of course you feel like shit, with that pace you will barely stay functional!!!!
 
It kind of depends on how radical you want you taper to be. I always preferred cold turkey over tapering when possible, so I can't give to much advice on this subject. But I always thought that you only wanted to taper really gradually, like with oxy that would be in increments of 5-10mgs? Or switching off days alternating higher differences, like 60-40-60-40-50-35-50-35-40-40-40-30-ETC. ETC.

Stay at the dose you're at until you feel a little better. That's a big jump. The idea of a taper, I always thought, was to not put too much strain on yourself, right? While also not prolonging the agony too much. A fine line...

Hopefully someone can give you some better advice. All I know for sure is that, if you stay at 30 for a couple days, it will get way, way better. Even a day or two from now you'll notice a change for the better. Three-five days from now you'll be near normality.

Keep up the good work OP!!! Just don't press yourself too hard. A taper shouldn't be as painful as cold turkey, and it sounds like you're going through it.

p.s. prop best to keep using this thread, as opposed to making a new one. Keep posting in hereeee.
 
Opening/Original Post(er) which would be YOU Newquiter!!! =D

(I always assumed that's what it meant... :\)

Yea, take it easy. I wouldn't even think it would be so bad as to give yourself another 20mg oxycodone. 100mg --> 30mg in a day is ridiculous. Even 100mg --> 50mg in a day is pretty steep. Give yourself more time. A taper with oxy often will take more than a week, much more. But, again, it all depends how radical you want to make it, and how much pain/withdrawal you want to force yourself through.

It's all a pros/cons balance sort thing, ya know?
 
OK, your overall dose for today would be 75 mg: 30 mg at 7:00, 15 mg at 15:00, 30 mg at 23:00 for example. You keep that for another day, then you go to 60 overall: 15 at 7:00, 15 at 15:00, 30 at 23:00. , then 15 - 15 - 15, then 15 - 7,5 - 15, then 7,5 - 7,5 - 15 , then 7,5 - 7,5 - 7,5. the clock time isn't mandatory, you can also take it an hour earlier or later. Find out how much oxy your percs contain, then you can switch to them by the end of the taper as the apap will also help to ease the withdrawals. It is important that you slow down your taper the lower the overall dose is. The last few mgs are the hardest.

EDIT: If you get the feeling that you are tapering too fast (too heavy withdrawal symptoms), you can stay for another day at the dose you are on, too. You've got around 900 mg straight oxy + percs + vikes, so you don't need to rush it.
 
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I saw myself when I read your original post. I'm 15 years younger than you, but our situations are nearly identical otherwise. I'm even in the same line of work! Except I work in Outside Contractor Sales for a large, privately owned lumber yard.

I'm also on the verge of quitting, but this will be my 3rd or 4th time. I came here looking for help/support/understanding, as I have the past 2 times I've gone too far.

Given my line of work and daily usage, I can't go cold turkey. I've got a thread going now asking for specific tapering advice. Since you've got a source and a little self control, I think a taper could help you quit with minimal discomfort, no "sick" days, and without anyone finding out. You seem to have started to cut back already, which means you've got WAY more discipline than me. Great job. Don't be afraid to take it slow, though. I've seen many friends give up because they went too fast, felt miserable, and slipped back into the routine.

Someone here will post reasonable, comfortable taper plan for you if they haven't already. You seem committed, and that's the most important part. Be strong, man. This will get better.
 
If the symptoms I'm feeling cut down to one 30/ mg a day will eventually subside I think then I can begin a much slower taper.
The guilt of doing so much AND finally admitting I had to take some at work is/was really getting to me.
I hope you understand VW.
And is that schedule daily? Or spread over a few weeks.?
Again... I think I'd rather feel uncomfortable than feel guilty. As long as it will pass and I will adjust.
I was lucky my days of true work were spotty this week. I had an important meeting this morning so I took a Vicodin so my clients wouldn't see me sweating.
I made it. I'm home now and may take a hot bath. I have a Dr. Apt today to get the somas and vikes. I had them schedule it at 12:45. Soon after my first dose so my blood pressure should be OK?

I had my first restless night lastnite. Up at 3 am wriggling and squirming. But not that bad. Dozed back off after an hour or so.
Day 3. An hour and 20 min to go til noon.


Good luck -Theluckiest. I wish I could help you but I just don't know enough. It would be shitty for me say I'm glad I'm not the only one. ;-)
 
Maybe I didn't explain it understandable, but I will make this clear once again:

Today (Thursday) you take 30 mg in the morning, 15 mg at noon, 30 mg in the evening.
Tomorrow (Friday) & the day after (Saturday) you take 15 mg in the morning, 15 mg at noon, 30 mg in the evening
Sunday & Monday you take 15 mg in the morning, 15 at noon, 15 in the evening
and so on.
And you stick to 2mg Xanax and 2 Soma in the evening the whole time.

If you want to go from 100 mg to 30 mg instantly, you can also take a week off from work and go cold turkey. It doesn't work that way. Especially not if you are like "OK, I need to be functional at the appointment today, I'll take an extra vike". That is no taper, not even a withdrawal, that is chaos. Either you want to quit, than you have to choose to go cold turkey or to taper, or you do not want to quit and proceed using opiates like you did the last six months. Either way is absolutely legitimate, but you have to be 100% clear which way you go. Again, if you choose to taper, you set a taper schedule and stick to it or you discard the idea of tapering and choose one of the other options. That's how it is. No extra Vikes, no "I leave a dose out because I feel so guilty". Period. Otherwise we can't help you.

If you proceed only taking 30 mg per day and additionally take a soma less, I promise you you will be in bad withdrawal soon.

As for the feeling of guilt, it won't subside just because you choose to torture yourself and do a dysfunctional taper. You have to deal with this feeling either way. That is the reason why we begged you to talk to your wife. The feelings won't get away as long as you keep your addiction secret.
 
Iv been off heroin since Feb last year and im currently prescribed 6mg of Subetex daily,my drug worker keeps saying that hes hoping to have me off my meds by summer.I dont feel ready yet to come off them but i feel as though i really do need to quit relying on an opiot to keep me feeling ok,i think im feeling this way is due to my worker making me feel under pressure to come off them,iv got an appointment with him tyomorrow so i need to tell him straight but just unsure how to word it properly.Im not on observed consumption any more but im worried that if i tell him i want to use again(as lately i have had that urge)he could well put me back on observed and i honestly dont want that to happen because i like to space out my dose during the day as it seems to uplift my mood,im open to any advice of how to go about this please.
 
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