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I need to stop shooting up :(

regarding needles, the presence of needles...I need needles for legitimate medical issues, so unfortunately for me I can't just throw them out. But I will say that the presence of needles (and the fact that I have 0 "fear" of needles at this point, unlike many people it seems) definitely contributed to some decisions I've made to shoot, to continue to use....just the fact that I always had piles of clean ones around. It's weird. If the only thing I used needles for was to shoot heroin I'd throw every single rig away without a second thought.
 
Papaverium said:
The truth be spoken. I'm just as addicted to the needle as I am to the drugs. I probably coulda quit by now if it weren't for the craving to see that blood register in the chamber before feeling that rush... dang.
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I also have an addiction to the needle although I have no veins left and have quit heroin years ago. I still shoot up my sleeping pills (midazolam), partly because they're not effective enough when taken orally, but mostly because I need to see the blood in the needle. I inject them routinely, even if I don't need them that particular night. For me it's also a form of self-harm. I suffer from severe depression. I have tried to kill myself and used to cut myself in the past. Shooting up midazolam is dangerous to the veins, I know, and I've managed to quit for 1 to 2 weeks for a time. I've had the same prescription for those sleeping pills for 8-9 years. I originally used to shoot them up with heroin to boost the effect, now I just shoot them up without the heroin. Only my own meds and only when I go to bed. No physical addiction. Still this is a problem. I was in a hospital when I quit heroin and told them about everything else I shoot up as well and wanted them to check my injection marks from my legs etc. but they never did. They only routinely checked my arms. Why is it impossible to inject methadone? I've done it a couple of times.
 
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Mörkret said:
I also have an addiction to the needle although I have no veins left and have quit heroin years ago. I still shoot up my sleeping pills (midazolam), partly because they're not effective enough when taken orally, but mostly because I need to see the blood in the needle. I inject them routinely, even if I don't need them that particular night. For me it's also a form of self-harm. I suffer from severe depression. I have tried to kill myself and used to cut myself in the past. Shooting up midazolam is dangerous to the veins, I know, and I've managed to quit for 1 to 2 weeks for a time. I've had the same prescription for those sleeping pills for 8-9 years. I originally used to shoot them up with heroin to boost the effect, now I just shoot them up without the heroin. Only my own meds and only when I go to bed. No physical addiction. Still this is a problem. I was in a hospital when I quit heroin and told them about everything else I shoot up as well and wanted them to check my injection marks from my legs etc. but they never did. They only routinely checked my arms. Why is it impossible to inject methadone? I've done it a couple of times.
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Yes, the sight of my own blood coming out is extremely calming to me.
 
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