onlysweetpea
Bluelighter
So I did it. 5 days in a row at the gym, crunching my ass. woo-fucking-hoo.
I tried out a new machine today, the cardio routine is becoming boring, so I'm on this thing that looks like a staircase. the Stepmill.
The stepmill kicked my ass. I can't believe I got on it. This is a girl who has trouble maneuvering some escalators. (The word "escalator" reminds me of The Clash and the way Joe Strummer spits the word es-ka-la-tah! in Clash City Rockers.)
First, the steps rotated too slow for me. I couldn't figure out the control panel. I reset it and found something at a normal pace. After 3 minutes, I was huffing and puffing like the nicotine bitch I am, and what does the machine do but...START ROTATING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
The absolute fear of slipping off the machine kept me going. I stifled a yelp of desperation and tried to keep up to save face. I felt like an overheated dog. Sweat poured off my face, my lungs hurt and my ass was ON FIRE.
After another 2 minutes of this, I resorted to 'cave man' status and hit the monitor with my fist repeatedly, wheezing like a hog.
It finally stopped.
Alas, I felt like I had just lived another Homer Simpson moment.
I looked around to see if anyone had been watching. Thank god most of the early morning gym goers are so self absorbed that they don't notice anything past their own muscles. Whew. Humilation avoided.
I tried out a new machine today, the cardio routine is becoming boring, so I'm on this thing that looks like a staircase. the Stepmill.
The stepmill kicked my ass. I can't believe I got on it. This is a girl who has trouble maneuvering some escalators. (The word "escalator" reminds me of The Clash and the way Joe Strummer spits the word es-ka-la-tah! in Clash City Rockers.)
First, the steps rotated too slow for me. I couldn't figure out the control panel. I reset it and found something at a normal pace. After 3 minutes, I was huffing and puffing like the nicotine bitch I am, and what does the machine do but...START ROTATING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
The absolute fear of slipping off the machine kept me going. I stifled a yelp of desperation and tried to keep up to save face. I felt like an overheated dog. Sweat poured off my face, my lungs hurt and my ass was ON FIRE.
After another 2 minutes of this, I resorted to 'cave man' status and hit the monitor with my fist repeatedly, wheezing like a hog.
It finally stopped.
Alas, I felt like I had just lived another Homer Simpson moment.
I looked around to see if anyone had been watching. Thank god most of the early morning gym goers are so self absorbed that they don't notice anything past their own muscles. Whew. Humilation avoided.
