I awoke this morning to see everything was in its place. As I had fallen asleep early the previous night, I had awoken late (12PM).
I stood up and walked to the kitchen. Drowsy. The sun was already up in the sky. The heat of the afternoon drilled into the sidewalk.
The dreary fog of tiredness covered my eyes. I slipped back into my room and fell asleep. Now reawakening at 3PM. I could easily continue sleeping, however work was in an hour.
This is the life I live. Every waking moment is a constant struggle against lethargy. Sloth. One of the 7 deadly sins. It has taken over the life of everyone in my family.
Stimulants are normally known to cause anxiety, paranoia, jitters and occasional discomfort. But I've never regretted taking any dose of them. It's like they fill a missing piece to the jig-saw puzzle that is my brain. My body is able to function without wanting sleep. I do not know why this constant pull toward the bedroom happens.
All I can think about is getting some form of stimulant. Some form of stimulant so I can draw. Some form of stimulant so I can work. Some form of stimulant so I can talk to friends.
Caffiene only works for so long. Amphetamines, phenidates... cocaine. I'm addicted to all equally. They bother most people. Drag them into stressful comedowns. Some people think, "Who would ever like these?" as they're coming down and unable to sleep for days. I have never fit into that statistic.
As I push forward, I enjoy the euphoria and uplifting, productivity they provide me with. Call me an addict, but they're tools. I do use them for enjoyment, but they also help me get through the day. Without them I would never wake up.
I stood up and walked to the kitchen. Drowsy. The sun was already up in the sky. The heat of the afternoon drilled into the sidewalk.
The dreary fog of tiredness covered my eyes. I slipped back into my room and fell asleep. Now reawakening at 3PM. I could easily continue sleeping, however work was in an hour.
This is the life I live. Every waking moment is a constant struggle against lethargy. Sloth. One of the 7 deadly sins. It has taken over the life of everyone in my family.
Stimulants are normally known to cause anxiety, paranoia, jitters and occasional discomfort. But I've never regretted taking any dose of them. It's like they fill a missing piece to the jig-saw puzzle that is my brain. My body is able to function without wanting sleep. I do not know why this constant pull toward the bedroom happens.
All I can think about is getting some form of stimulant. Some form of stimulant so I can draw. Some form of stimulant so I can work. Some form of stimulant so I can talk to friends.
Caffiene only works for so long. Amphetamines, phenidates... cocaine. I'm addicted to all equally. They bother most people. Drag them into stressful comedowns. Some people think, "Who would ever like these?" as they're coming down and unable to sleep for days. I have never fit into that statistic.
As I push forward, I enjoy the euphoria and uplifting, productivity they provide me with. Call me an addict, but they're tools. I do use them for enjoyment, but they also help me get through the day. Without them I would never wake up.
