I need some feedback on this please

[panman1960]

As I am new to this forum but not inexperienced as a poster on other forums for years. I jump right into describing my situation. I do this in the hope that I may get some new angles on the issues that I am facing.

I am middle aged and take some steroids as replacement therapy, as is usual with men of my age group. This has indeed been beneficial and is not related to the issue I am posting about. I also want to say that I am a very moderate social drinker and do not have a problem with alcohol but I smoke cigarettes, perhaps a pack a day which is hardly need to be mentioned.

The thing is, I am in a sort of relationship with a woman who is in her early forties. She has been a methamphetamine use for many years, my guess is perhaps as much as ten years. Reading a post about the effects of meth has been illuminating to me, and I can see some things in her behavior that correspond to some of the descriptions of the stages that occur in this addiction. I have know this woman for going on three years. I ask myself, does this have a future and how will that future be decided by the addiction she clearly has.

What I recognize is this: extreme irritability, she easily gets angry but then I think she has always had a hot temper so all is not caused by the drug. She may fly at me in a rage because of some other things that happened to her but have nothing to do with me, I just happened to arrive on the scene so to say when she was in a bad mood. I feel that she sometimes takes things out on me. She has problems sleeping, but takes good care of herself with regard to clothes and cleanliness and so on. I have not noticed any paranoia but she may hide this from me if it is present. I feel that her feelings for me are very unemotional, she has some pity for other people but I really doubt is she has genuine feelings of compassion for others.

I also wonder is she is taking other drugs on top of or with the meth. Other members here may point me in the right direction as to what she may be taking in addition.

I feel the main problem in this relationship is her flatness of emotion as regards me. But then again, I only see her now and again.

Comments from other men who have lived with girls and women addicted to meth are especially welcome.

I care about this woman and want to make a difference in her life but I don't know how this will work out as I have never had a girlfriend who takes drugs like this.

She knows that I know she takes drugs but will not discuss this as it is obviously painful to her.

She is very thin and does not eat a lot, also the white of her eyes show sign of yellowing with a slight discoloration ranging from dark yellow to a brownish hue. Her eyes are somehow rather strange all the time.

I can understand she has needed the meth in the beginning as she is in a job that craves long hours and staying awake. I won't go into more personal details as they are hardly relevant. She works hard and I help her occasionally as she is often short of money and has had drug debts that I helped her pay. I am certainly useful to her in that way.

 

[Renz Envy]

Hey and welcome to the forum.

I also dated a girl who was addicted to methamphetamine, but much younger.
Methamphetamine users typically have a depressant drug of choice they use to combat the withdrawal and comedown symptoms of meth. If she is showing signs of jaundice, then it could be a result of complications with her liver due to an over consumption of poorly synthesized meth, alcohol abuse and many other things.

If you are unfamiliar with the meth culture, I will tell you this, don't trust them. Guy or girl, they will do what they need to in order to get what they want. Men are often violent, aggressive and make illogical plans(Almost childlike, but often illegal the federal level.) in order to score. Women are by far the least trustworthy, as meth often leaves them as thin as a college freshman and make-up can cover the hideous effects on the skin of long-term use. This illusion of "pretty" is what they love to use in order to lure multiple high value men into their lives.

From my experience the drug itself makes lying, not a skill, but a profession. You really have two choices with a meth user:

A) Get used
B) Use them

There are rare exceptions, but then again there are also animals born with two heads. My analogy here is to use your sense of logic with her. Eventually you'll learn how meth users scheme plans together. Once you've gathered enough information to bring deception up to light, it's your choice whether to admit everything you know, or use their false sense of sneaky intelligence to your advantage.

She will most likely deny everything until you've managed to hold meth away from her for three days. (Why 3?) because that is a pretty standard time for meth withdrawals to fully kick in. The withdrawals make for a great truth serum.


So, other than the possibility of contracting a serious STD, there's "Dating a meth addict 101" in the next lesson we'll learn how one ex-boyfriend can lose his marbles and come after her.

 

[Pagey]

I'm not quite sure from your post, do you use any drugs OP?

While I've never done meth nor dated a drug user, I've been the drug addict in a past relationship so I can try to give you some advice. My DOCs were xanax and heroin so my behavior would have been very different of course, but still.
The thing is, if she indeed addicted (as it sounds), you'll never be the priority - her relationship with the drug will always come first. I know that for me it wasn't *too* much of a problem that I used most of the time since it got to the piont where I needed to be high to be my 'normal' self, but at the same time it did obviously make me act differently - I was lethargic, unresponsive etc. The problems would come mostly when I couldn't use for some reason or another and the withdrawals kicked in, and I would become a downright horrible person.
I should probably add one of the main problems was probably also that I never told him I was using...So he just didn't understand why I acted like that. I don't know whether it would have been better or worse to tell him.
As I said, I've never done meth but the stories I hear from it are dreadful and my imperssion is that it transforms people much more than other drugs. Just be aware of how unpredictible she will be and that the meth is probably her number one priority. If she doesn't take extra care of herself it's also likely her body will somewhat deteriorate.
After that it's up to you to see if you can handle it. Good luck

 

[pofacedhoe]

amphetamines dont do you any good long term. they make you irritable and it becomes difficult to feel pleasure from things other than more amphetamines.

the cold nature of speed fiends is something i have seen, but a close friend of mine is a long term speed addict and she has crazy sleeping patterns and unstable behaviour but has borderline personality and is a warm person. in her relationships she is always looking for an arguement.

if someone is cold to you emotionally and is needing your financial help in order to deal with their drugs debts when they supposedly need the drugs to keep the job it sounds like their life is falling apart a bit and you're whats sticking it together. their using more than they can pay for but need to use to keep the job? that doesn't make sense unless you are trying to justify an addiction out of control

how often are you bailing her out? what are you paying for