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I need some advice from people who've been there, done that..... UNI SUCKS!!!

she phoenix

she phoenix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
1,039
Location
Aberystwyth
Hi I'm a fresher at Aberystwyth uni and over the last couple of months I've decided that I really don't like it. I don't like the course very much, I don't like most of the people, I don't like living in halls and I really don't like Aberystwyth. I'm so shocked here because everyone said it was awesome and assured me I'd have an amazing time and yet here I am miserable as ever! I mean, I burst into tears about 10 times a day. I don't want to do this! But I don't want to go back to my home town either because there's nothing for me there.
So I suppose any advice would help - I don't want to be a drop out I really don't, but being here makes me so depressed I feel I'm wasting my money. Why pay to be sad? How important has having/not having a degree been to your life? Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do?
Help :(
 
You should at least stay the entire first year. Its a new situation, and it takes getting used to. If you make a good friend or two I'm sure your views will change.
 
she phoenix said:
I don't like the course very much
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what are you studying? why did you choose it? is there a subject you feel you'd enjoy more? talk to the uni about switching?
she phoenix said:
I don't like most of the people
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you can't possible have met most of the people so i'm guessing you're exaggerating here a little for effect.

what do you like to do for fun? seek out others who enjoy the same things and get to know them. you'll have something in common which is always a good place to start. universities commonly have loads of activity clubs - why not start there. there are 12000 students at your uni. there have to be 5 or 10 that you'll get on with but you have to put some effort into finding them :)
she phoenix said:
I don't like living in halls
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what don't you like about it? perhaps you have more control over the factors that annoy you than you think. if not, are you committed to living there? again, talk to the resources available to you at uni about moving out?
she phoenix said:
I really don't like Aberystwyth.
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again, that's a pretty nebulous statement. what don't you like about it? what's missing? take some responsibility for your own happiness and make some changes.
she phoenix said:
How important has having/not having a degree been to your life?
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not as important as you might think. that said, i learned an awful lot more at college and university than the subjects i studied. at uni. you learn a lot of things without even realising you're learning them - you learn to socialise in an adult environment; you learn to be resourceful; you learn to study and research; you learn to learn.

i spent 3 years at college and uni. in scotland - one of which was spent managing the students' association and students' union as president. 3 of the best years of my life. 2 or 3 of my closest friends, i met during that time.

in summary, two things:

1. you're in control of your own happiness. choose to increase it.

2. you have an abundance of resources available to you. use them.

good luck.

alasdair
 
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I agree that you should stay at your uni. Perhaps there are some other things you can change though. If its the first time you are away from home, its normal to find change stressful. I have done an undergrad (currently PhD) at my university. Although I like the uni, it took a long time for me to make friends and I changed my course within the first half of the first year.

I know its hard but maybe you should figure out what it is you dont like - and also what you can and cant change. I am positive that once you feel you have gained more control over your life you will start to feel happier about it. In the meantime, try St-John's wort or 5HTP (serotonin) supplements for a couple weeks.

Depression is real and makes everything seem worse. Its difficult to make positive decisions you're so low.

Also - we all deal with change differently. I honestly believe that your situation is normal. You arent alone and that's why your dean of students/counselling service is there.
 
What are you studying? There are many options, if college doesn't seem right for you you don't have to go, if your main concern is getting a job later perhaps you'd be more happy in a trade school, you could become a master carpenter or artisan, learn to build things (I know someone who went to a school that taught him to build amazing sail boats), become a chef, etc.

College is good but I don't think it's necessarily right for everyone. The world is full of opportunities, many of which don't require you to ever set foot in a university. I can understand not liking living in dorms, dorms are very open usually and for more private or less social people (like myself) they may not be good.

The point is, find something that you love to do or study and pursue it. Your options aren't limited to either your current uni or your home town.
 
Thanks guys there's some nice advice there, and it feels better now I've calmed down a bit. I'll be fine, I know I will, but my life's just so weird now that I guess occasionally I panic. Most importantly, I am in love and soon he will be with me. I need to try to persuade him, somehow, to live with me and then I think I will be much much happier. Being away from someone I love so damn much... fucking sucks. And sometimes it just makes me want to throw everything away and elope with him! But no, I have to PERSEVERE.
Thanks :)
 
My first year of university sucked too. I went into computer science because that is what I enjoyed in high school - computers and math! My life turned around completely - I went from being the top of my class in high school (I got like tons of awards and stuff) to failing one third of my classes and doing really poorly (think: 50 - 70%) in my other classes. It was brutal. I was in a long distance relationship as well. I got kinda depressed, cried every day as well. It was a combination of many things: I hated the course I was studying (it was all theoretical ... I am a very practical person!), my boyfriend wasn't there, and everything. I ended up dropping out and going to a different college and taking a different course (which I was actually good at).

University can be stressful - and a huge change from high school. Keep working hard. Make it through first year. My year of university was probably one of the worst years of my life but I learned a lot from it. You'll learn from it. Even if you don't go back - you have so many options - changing schools, changing courses, working for a couple years ... your choice.
 
The only way university can suck is if it's a poor-quality university or you are studying subjects that you don't enjoy.

I used to study units in economics and finance because like nearly everyone I was obsessed with making money, but having since intellectually matured in my outlook on life, I now realize that game will only lead to misery.

Now I am studying what I am passionate about (Zoology) and absolutely love going to uni, I actually can't wait to study, it's exciting. You need also to find what you are passionate about and GO FOR IT!
 
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