LopLover
Bluelighter
Well after I ate things went the opposite direction then what I thought. As soon as I ate I felt tired and sleepy, but now I feel the symptoms coming back. Could it be that I take my meth orally? Because I was so close to sleep then out of nowhere the paranoia and meth bugs came back.
That's fairly typical coming down off meth, regardless of your route of administration. Oral ingestion is one of the slowest to hit you thus it's one of the longest-lasting within your body. You'll likely go through that cycle a few times before you truly crash and burn; that is, just go to sleep and sleep for a good 12-18 hours. Right before bedtime, try taking your Ativan, then laying down and trying to concentrate on stopping the hamster wheel in your head for a few minutes. That should help you get some sleep. Once you get a decent night's sleep, things should look a bit brighter. You may have some depression, but that's just the natural reaction to coming down from stimulants. Good luck on going to the clinic--that sounds like a very positive step. It kind of sounds like you're really focused on getting a job to convince everyone around you that you're "OK." When in fact you don't really sound very OK. It may be that you should spend a little more time really focused on your recovery. Sometimes with this stuff it's all baby steps. As long as you don't stop or walk backwards, no matter how slow your movement forward is, you're going in the right direction. Brightest Blessings!