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I need sexual advice.

rilley

rilley

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2012
Messages
8
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year now, and I feel extraordinary insecure because I can't please my girl friend.
Her and I took each others virginity, and she has told me herself she has never felt a climax.
I've read every guide, I've tried massaging her clit. I am going to try to give her head, but the thing is I don't know what to do, I want her to feel something, but every attempt as been in vain.
 
rilley said:
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year now, and I feel extraordinary insecure because I can't please my girl friend.
Her and I took each others virginity, and she has told me herself she has never felt a climax.
I've read every guide, I've tried massaging her clit. I am going to try to give her head, but the thing is I don't know what to do, I want her to feel something, but every attempt as been in vain.
Click to expand...

Does she masturbate with a vibe? It’s possible her clit has been desensitized and may find it nearly impossible to climax from traditional stimulation.

A lot of women don't climax from intercourse either so don't feel bad about that.
 
Here's a good link - check out the tips. Just scroll down through the condom guide. there's a ton of helpful advice:

*quit the spam, thank you*


Has all you need to begin and help her reach the mountain-top!

John
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dont goto fast but really go hard. Position ur body so u really hit that clit. Takes alot of experimenting
 
Well, this is a hard one...for many women, including myself, you really, really have to be in the right mind space to orgasm...if I am not feeling it in my mind, I will NOT come, no matter how skilled my partner is.

First of all, I would ask her if she has orgasms when she masturbates. If she says she does not masturbate, that is one thing. If she says she does, maybe ask her how she gets herself off, or what she thinks about, if she fantasizes about anything.

Also, maybe invest in some toys. I have had all kinds of fancy ones myself, but just a small vibrating egg has been really the most effective in producing a great orgasm.

Also, as B1tO'RoughJack said, try to learn some skills in the oral arena. A LOT of men have no clue what they are doing down there, and sometimes it can feel icky. You should absolutely PM him for some tips, I have a feeling he is probably pretty good at it.

Lastly, and this is hard, do NOT stress out about it. Really fixating on her not climaxing will affect both of your sex lives in a negative way. I love, love, love having sex with my partner even if I do not climax every single time. As a matter of fact, sometimes (rarely but still it happens) we will fuck, and I enjoy the hell out of it but am just not going to come during sex. I will masturbate afterwards.

How old are you? How old is she? I lost my virginity at 18, and I can't remember but I was probably 20 or so before I climaxed successfully with a partner. Did that mean that all the sex that I had between 18 and 20 sucked? No, I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Good luck.
 
Honestly, it's different for everyone. You've got to keep trying new things.
Has she ever climaxed without you? (aka by herself or with toys)
If not, maybe she could try a bit on her own and see what works for you, then you could help her out a bit :) If she has, then see what really gets her going! But toys can be very helpful :)
 
get a vibrator play with that on her for a few sessions eventually itll happen and then you can repeate and figure out where her sensitive spots are and then start using the ole dick to make her climax
 
Beachcat said:
Well, this is a hard one...for many women, including myself, you really, really have to be in the right mind space to orgasm...if I am not feeling it in my mind, I will NOT come, no matter how skilled my partner is.

First of all, I would ask her if she has orgasms when she masturbates. If she says she does not masturbate, that is one thing. If she says she does, maybe ask her how she gets herself off, or what she thinks about, if she fantasizes about anything.

Also, maybe invest in some toys. I have had all kinds of fancy ones myself, but just a small vibrating egg has been really the most effective in producing a great orgasm.

Also, as B1tO'RoughJack said, try to learn some skills in the oral arena. A LOT of men have no clue what they are doing down there, and sometimes it can feel icky. You should absolutely PM him for some tips, I have a feeling he is probably pretty good at it.

Lastly, and this is hard, do NOT stress out about it. Really fixating on her not climaxing will affect both of your sex lives in a negative way. I love, love, love having sex with my partner even if I do not climax every single time. As a matter of fact, sometimes (rarely but still it happens) we will fuck, and I enjoy the hell out of it but am just not going to come during sex. I will masturbate afterwards.

How old are you? How old is she? I lost my virginity at 18, and I can't remember but I was probably 20 or so before I climaxed successfully with a partner. Did that mean that all the sex that I had between 18 and 20 sucked? No, I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Good luck.
Click to expand...


Listen to this person.

That is all.
 
You might be surprised at how enjoyable it is to "eat pussy" if you haven't done it before... :D I have always found it to be very arousing, which makes my girlfriend enjoy it even more once she notices my...er.... 'arousal' ;)

Just remember to forget 99% of anything you've seen in most mainstream porn, since they're doing it for a visual spectacle more than actually trying to please their partner. Speaking of pleasing her, make sure you listen to her for cues that indicate what she enjoys the most. It's the most natural thing in the world if you're not overthinking it :) Most women do not orgasm during vaginal intercourse, which is something a surprising amount of young men (and women) don't know, and can lead to all kinds of self-conscious feelings.

Also, one last tip: Tell her how beautiful/sexy/delicious/etc. her pussy is! A lot of women are very self-conscious about how they look/smell/taste/feel down there, and if she senses your apprehension, she may fear that it's because you don't like what you see. If she's uncomfortable or self-conscious, it will be very difficult for her to orgasm. Don't be afraid to take your time, either ;)

You can find many many how-to guides on all kinds of sex, including cunnilingus, here: http://www.literotica.com/top/How-To-8 They also have some fine erotic stories, if that's your thing %)
 
This really isn't necessarily about you. With my ex it literally took me two years before I was able to climax, even though I assure you, the sex was amazing regardless. I enjoyed it just as much as when I did start to get orgasms after a while.
I also have a friend who's been sexually active for years and hasn't even ever had an orgasm on her own.
Has your girlfriend ever climaxed at all?
 
rilley said:
I am going to try to give her head, but the thing is I don't know what to do, I want her to feel something, but every attempt as been in vain.
Click to expand...

You have not done this yet?!?! Holy shit bro. Seriously, go down on her, now. What to do? It's not rocket surgery. Kiss the outer vulva lightly, run your tongue over the center/in the "slit", lightly suck as in just kind of pucker your lips up against her vulva and inhale, lick the tissues that are "in" your mouth while you suck, stroke her inner thighs with your hands lightly while going down on her, run them down her legs, over her feet, back up her legs, over her ribs, along the back of her arms, play with her breasts, etc while doing it. Move your tongue around in a pseudo-random pattern, both in terms of direction, speed and pressure. Most of all, ASK HER what feels good and what does not, or what she would like you to do.
 
P
rangrz said:
You have not done this yet?!?! Holy shit bro. Seriously, go down on her, now. What to do? It's not rocket surgery. Kiss the outer vulva lightly, run your tongue over the center/in the "slit", lightly suck as in just kind of pucker your lips up against her vulva and inhale, lick the tissues that are "in" your mouth while you suck, stroke her inner thighs with your hands lightly while going down on her, run them down her legs, over her feet, back up her legs, over her ribs, along the back of her arms, play with her breasts, etc while doing it. Move your tongue around in a pseudo-random pattern, both in terms of direction, speed and pressure. Most of all, ASK HER what feels good and what does not, or what she would like you to do.
Click to expand...

Shit, rangrz knows what's up. Listen to this.
 
rangrz said:
You have not done this yet?!?! Holy shit bro. Seriously, go down on her, now. What to do? It's not rocket surgery. Kiss the outer vulva lightly, run your tongue over the center/in the "slit", lightly suck as in just kind of pucker your lips up against her vulva and inhale, lick the tissues that are "in" your mouth while you suck, stroke her inner thighs with your hands lightly while going down on her, run them down her legs, over her feet, back up her legs, over her ribs, along the back of her arms, play with her breasts, etc while doing it. Move your tongue around in a pseudo-random pattern, both in terms of direction, speed and pressure. Most of all, ASK HER what feels good and what does not, or what she would like you to do.
Click to expand...
Now that's how-to-eat-pussy!
 
rangrz said:
You have not done this yet?!?! Holy shit bro. Seriously, go down on her, now. What to do? It's not rocket surgery. Kiss the outer vulva lightly, run your tongue over the center/in the "slit", lightly suck as in just kind of pucker your lips up against her vulva and inhale, lick the tissues that are "in" your mouth while you suck, stroke her inner thighs with your hands lightly while going down on her, run them down her legs, over her feet, back up her legs, over her ribs, along the back of her arms, play with her breasts, etc while doing it. Move your tongue around in a pseudo-random pattern, both in terms of direction, speed and pressure. Most of all, ASK HER what feels good and what does not, or what she would like you to do.
Click to expand...

QFT. I can't even believe you've been fucking her FOR A YEAR and haven't been down there yet!?!
 
lola said:
QFT. I can't even believe you've been fucking her FOR A YEAR and haven't been down there yet!?!
Click to expand...

Lol so true. That is the only way I even come close to finishing. Oral is the best. Hahaha. But yeah, that will help her climax. Many (most??) women can't finish through just sex.
 
My advice has a lot of supporting evidence from rigorous empirical testing. OP: nomming a chick is fucking awesome and hot as hell. You will enjoy it. Seriously, I enjoy it as much or more than banging.
 
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