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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I need help...

P

phycoaaron123

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 16, 2013
Messages
3
Sorry If this is posted in the wrong section it seems the best to fit. Anyways, I really need some opinions and tips on how my mind works and how to stop it. I had a pretty bad felony charge that could of gotten me 7 years in prison. I got lucky and just sat in jail for about a month and was put on probation for 2 years. I feel like I'm going crazy.. I do drugs knowing that I'm risking 7 years of my freedom.. Im lost.. I don't understand why I do this... Before doing the drug I think about it for hours and something just overpowers me and I do it anyways. And everytime I do them I have no positives from them because I'm so nervous about getting drug tested and I end up being miserable until the meeting. And I continue and continue to get lucky and don't get tested. I dont understand why I do this knowing all this.... Like I would think anyone knowing 100% sure what the outcome is that they wouldn't do it.... I'm not asking for pity I'm just looking for some advice before I completely ruin my life... I know what I'm doing is completely pathetic and I am completely disappointed in myself... And it gets to me even worse because I am dissapointing the people that love me and are doing everything they can to help me..
 
Dude, you hang out in the barber shop long enough you are going to get a haircut. They are just waiting to spring their trap on you. Probation officers are a lot more savvy than you think.

If the drugs aren't working stop. Have you tried aa or na? If you can hold off using for a week your vision about your situation will be less cloudy.

Don't be dissapointed or feel pathetic. Addiction doesn't choose its victims. Just always try to do the next right thing. Pm if you want. I've been where you are.:)
 
Actually I have tried NA and AA when I wasn't on probation and quit my EXTREMELY HEAVY opiate addiction cold turkey. AA and NA are the ONLY things thats seemed to help. But the problem is I have extreme anxiety and agorophobia and if I don't have someone in there with me I know I will just block everything out kinda pretending im not even there. And the buddy I use to go with is now apparently to "good" to go with me.
 
Check out smart recovery. There are a lot of online meetings. Quit hanging around people that use...I know its easier said than done. If you have the scratch look into seeing a therapist that specializes in addiction.

Pm me for my email address. You can hit me up anytime. I've been there. Had a bad opiate habit. Been sober a year and two months, and I've had to rely heavily on aa and na and the friends I met there.

Check out the threads in the dark side and sober living.

Don't be too hard on yourself...addiction is a tough beast to face. Just understand that using is only a symptom and it is going to be day by day minute by minute. I was at the point of ending it all because I saw no other option...rock bottom sucks, but you have to find your bottom to crawl out of it.
 
I'm going to move this over to The Dark Side, and it might get moved to Sober Living from there.

DC --> TDS
 
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