Hello I am Anna, I know I have a very specific situation, but I guess that is probably why I'm having such a hard time finding the answer to it. My dog was shooting heroin 4 and a half years and has quit almost 11 months ago (January 6th) my dog wouldn't have been able to do it without kratom but now I am at a weird spot with the on again off again feeling of a doomed depression. My dog hasn't stopped using kratom but will hopefully soon taper down. I guess my question is how long does it take to feel normal again, when will my brain go back to normal and is there a time frame for the length of use in correlation to how long it takes to return back to normalcy?8(
-
H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
I need help from anyone with experience in this.
- Thread starter aerne210
- Start date
manboychef
Bluelighter
You are going to be okay. It takes time to heal. I posted in the octsober thread some tips.
thanks manboychef lol :D i really appreciate it, but how long roughly? I know it is more about me getting my self to this place i wanna be, but I can't help but feel there is a time frame for this because h is such a hard drug on the body. where I am at is normal right?
manboychef
Bluelighter
Everyone differs. I think it has more to do with your brain chemistry than the drugs. I abused opiates from age 15 to 32. I will be 33 at the end of the month.
Try feeling joy the natural way first. What do you enjoy doing? Are you into music? Do you like to draw, paint or write?
I had to ask myself some serious questions when I started getting sober (not just abstinent, because sobriety is a state of mind). Who am I? I had been using drugs for more than half my life, who am I without drugs. My life had centered around getting and using..and the joy I felt was copping or going from withdrawal to feeling well. Without those moments what is there to cling to? What do I fill the void in my day and in my soul that was previously filled with this? I took to gardening. I love watching my garden grow. It also is an abstract way to quantify my clean time. My garden flourishes as I do. Simple tasks like weeding, watering, and clearing away leaves gives me a warm sense of satisfaction and there is a finished product that I can enjoy as well. You need to find your garden anna.
In concert with finding ways to fill my time that bring me joy is seeing a therapist. Most people don't abuse and become dependent on opiates because life is going swimmingly, and I am no different. There are a lot of things in my life that I have been working past in order to be able to smile again. My friends say they hadn't seen me smile or laugh in a couple years while I was using, and in early recovery I still couldn't with any sort of sincerity. It has taken a lot of work to be able to focus on the positive things that are in my life, rather than dwell on the things I have lost. I miss my son. I haven't seen him for a long time, however I look forward to calling him every other day, and I write him letters and draw him pictures. I could dwell on the negative aspect of that, but I would much rather hold onto hope that someday we will have a decent father/son relationship. Hold onto hope. There has to be something to be hopeful about in your life!
Lastly, I take zoloft daily because the chemicals in my brain are balanced so that my baseline is sadness. This has helped me come back to a baseline that is neutral, neither happy nor sad. It is a tool just like everything else I am talking about. I guess the salient point I am making is that it is up to you to find your joy, and to manage your mental health. I tried a bunch of different meds and finally found that zoloft made me feel nearly normal. Maybe and ssri is in your future. Only a doctor and a psychiatrist can diagnose you with major depressive disorder. (i have panic disorder, OCD, and major depressive disorder...hence why all the self medication with opiates in the past) here are a couple of questions.
1.)do you have persisting sadness or hopelessness?
2.)do you have a hard time conceiving a point to finishing tasks?
3.)do you have a hard time finding joy in things you once found joyful?
if the answers are yes, see a psychiatrist. However, do try to find hope in your life, and find a place to be at peace.
Try feeling joy the natural way first. What do you enjoy doing? Are you into music? Do you like to draw, paint or write?
I had to ask myself some serious questions when I started getting sober (not just abstinent, because sobriety is a state of mind). Who am I? I had been using drugs for more than half my life, who am I without drugs. My life had centered around getting and using..and the joy I felt was copping or going from withdrawal to feeling well. Without those moments what is there to cling to? What do I fill the void in my day and in my soul that was previously filled with this? I took to gardening. I love watching my garden grow. It also is an abstract way to quantify my clean time. My garden flourishes as I do. Simple tasks like weeding, watering, and clearing away leaves gives me a warm sense of satisfaction and there is a finished product that I can enjoy as well. You need to find your garden anna.
In concert with finding ways to fill my time that bring me joy is seeing a therapist. Most people don't abuse and become dependent on opiates because life is going swimmingly, and I am no different. There are a lot of things in my life that I have been working past in order to be able to smile again. My friends say they hadn't seen me smile or laugh in a couple years while I was using, and in early recovery I still couldn't with any sort of sincerity. It has taken a lot of work to be able to focus on the positive things that are in my life, rather than dwell on the things I have lost. I miss my son. I haven't seen him for a long time, however I look forward to calling him every other day, and I write him letters and draw him pictures. I could dwell on the negative aspect of that, but I would much rather hold onto hope that someday we will have a decent father/son relationship. Hold onto hope. There has to be something to be hopeful about in your life!
Lastly, I take zoloft daily because the chemicals in my brain are balanced so that my baseline is sadness. This has helped me come back to a baseline that is neutral, neither happy nor sad. It is a tool just like everything else I am talking about. I guess the salient point I am making is that it is up to you to find your joy, and to manage your mental health. I tried a bunch of different meds and finally found that zoloft made me feel nearly normal. Maybe and ssri is in your future. Only a doctor and a psychiatrist can diagnose you with major depressive disorder. (i have panic disorder, OCD, and major depressive disorder...hence why all the self medication with opiates in the past) here are a couple of questions.
1.)do you have persisting sadness or hopelessness?
2.)do you have a hard time conceiving a point to finishing tasks?
3.)do you have a hard time finding joy in things you once found joyful?
if the answers are yes, see a psychiatrist. However, do try to find hope in your life, and find a place to be at peace.
You are always helpful manboychef! Thank you for all the time you put into the advice you give me. I know what you mean, but there are things that I have enjoyed my entire life, and once I got off of heroin these things (painting, drawing, doing my nails, going outside to do anything, adventures, etc.) just became something that I SHOULD do, to better my life/mood. I do them with more enthusiasm than the other things I don't typically enjoy. It just isn't making me smile, calm, relaxed, or feel better about myself. Since January 6th I feel like I have been waiting, waiting to feel different, get better, or want something. I know that all my brain has been used to wanting was the dope, but now that it isn't an option, should I be training it to want other things in my life by... getting/achieving them? I just don't feel like doing/wanting anything. My research has brought me to a conclusion that, for now, I should be doing these things to do them for practice (similar to a sort of brain training) which I understand, but after almost a year sometimes, when I reflect, I feel like it's not working for me, things don't feel much different. I am already conditioned to wait it out and heal, even if it seems too long or frustrates me. I did this damage to myself for a long time, so I know, to undo it, it is going to take work and time. Also, I love the word hope
I have a simple looking ring I have been wearing for ever, it says hope. I think that hope is the only reason I have gotten this far without giving up. I hope for my future to eventually become what I want it to be.
"Maybe I'll never be able to do what I hope to do, but at least I have hope." -Marilyn Monroe
I have a simple looking ring I have been wearing for ever, it says hope. I think that hope is the only reason I have gotten this far without giving up. I hope for my future to eventually become what I want it to be. "Maybe I'll never be able to do what I hope to do, but at least I have hope." -Marilyn Monroe
Also thank you dixichik, I love the mantra!^^^^THIS^^^^Excellent advice, manboychef! Really good stuff, as always.
My personal mantra is to "celebrate what is present, rather than meditate upon what is past", no matter what you're "issue".
manboychef
Bluelighter
so how are things going!?
have you tried making tea out of your kratom? It works wonders and helps curb the nausea associated with it.
have you tried making tea out of your kratom? It works wonders and helps curb the nausea associated with it.
I read something else you wrote, is your name Zach? Also can I call you Zach, or what would you prefer to go by? Haha, I am just starting to feel silly calling you manboychef! hahaha. Well manboychef... things are getting pretty gloomy over here. I don't know what it is lately but I just haven't been feeling good or content about myself. I haven't tried the tea yet because I have been reading about the excess left over and am a little concerned that it may be not the most efficient way to make sure I get the mist bang for my buck. I will try it once I get my order in from the website you recommended, then I won't be so anxious about it. I have been getting it locally at a store and paying (snip) for 50g and I am beginning to think it's like start over stem or something crappy. I don't know what it is, but I am having issues being okay with myself :/ I have been missing a lot of classes cause I just don't wanna go, then I start to feel bad about missing them later on, just a bunch of shit. I was working on this abstract owl piece the other day and just stopped cause I didn't wanna draw anymore, I had enough kratom, I just didn't want to do anything :/
Last edited by a moderator:
manboychef
Bluelighter
Ill send you a pm tomorrow. My sleeping meds are kicking my ass.
i posted some info you might want to read in one of your other threads.
you are probably looking at 6-18 months to feel "normal" again. everyone is different so take that how you will. i was in active opiate addiction for 12 years and when i kicked EVERYTHING (weed,benzos, heroin, dilaudid, methadone, EVERYTHING) it took a good 6 months until i got anywhere close to "normal". understand that life is filled with ups and downs but the unrelenting mood swings i had didnt go away until around 6 months
manboychef
Bluelighter
I am close to year and I still stumble on a few things here and there. Especially sometimes feeling doom and gloom. You have my number, call me when you feel that way, or send a text. Sometimes just talking to someone helps.
cj
Bluelight Crew
Just a quick moderator note to everyone because I have seen it in a number of threads lately. Price discussion is not allowed. Period. Not even for legal stuff like kratom. I don't want to be a dick but that's just the rules.
I agree with what others said about 6 months being the magic number for PAWS to start letting up. Though everyone is different. I am not going to criticize you for using kratom because shit I couldn't handle PAWS either when I quit subs. But it being a opiate agonist is going to slow down or stop your brains return to homeostasis. Just something to consider.
I agree with what others said about 6 months being the magic number for PAWS to start letting up. Though everyone is different. I am not going to criticize you for using kratom because shit I couldn't handle PAWS either when I quit subs. But it being a opiate agonist is going to slow down or stop your brains return to homeostasis. Just something to consider.
Thank you so much Memphis, I was hoping there was something timely about this recovering process. I have been hearing about how I need to go out and put my life together to make things progress to get better, but when I do these things (I signed up for classes a bit ago) I expect for things to progress, and after time, it feels no different. I just signed up for something that seems difficult, that I don't have the energy and motivation for. I am happy to hear it will get better with time. I think my addiction to kratom is putting a damper on things from getting 100% or feeling back to normal. I am happy I avoided the sub or methadone program, I think that may have took more of a toll, and lasted longer. But obviously, I have to pay the piper with this one and start weaning off of the kratom.
I know :] thank you zack, I cannot use my phone until I fix my bill probs, it always help when I get in that slum to talk to someone, I appreciate you being there for me really really. Give me another way to reach you for now! I got my stuff in the mail today from the site you sent me! I wanna talk with you!
Thanks crimsonjunk, don't be sorry! I think I need to read through the guidelines, I was only keeping brand names, references, and self incrimination in mind, if you didn't say anything I wouldn't have known yet that it was against the rules, so thank you! It has been 11 months since a 4&1/2 addiction to IV heroin and I still feel stuck in a heavy PAWS, I am sure it's the kratom. I just keep thinking every time I try to taper down, "I already quit the huge problem, I can take it easy, I don't have to worry about it" and I know this self pity is what's keeping me from being balanced again. You gotta be right, staying on kratom has to be what's holding me back from moving on and homiostatis. I just start, and then half way through the day of cutting back the number of grams I am using turns into adding just a few more, then just a little bit, and then bam... back up to the same amount.
cj
Bluelight Crew
Damn I didn't realize it has been a year since you quit heroin. At this point I would start considering mental health issues that could be causing your symptoms. Depression, ADHD something like that. Even though I guess it could be the Kratom.
Right I'm guessing it's just the paws and some depression, I'm gonna see a specialist this week, Thank you
closeau
Bluelighter
Aerne210, I forgot your name, lol. I think if anyone put a exact time frame on it will be either depressing or get your hopes up. I've been using Kratom lately but no effects cause my opiate tolerance is too high. I'm on pain management. Since I was 18, in 40 now, I've had my battles with drugs and booze and one thing I've heard that's very true, it's 40 miles in the woods and 40 miles out. Sometimes people feel better faster and some slower. I'm not judging you so please don't look at it that way but your brain won't clear up with Kratom in it. I didn't really read all these posts just kinda skimmed so if I'm wrong I'm sorry. The brain needs time to heal. Since I've been in recovery I've seen some brains clear quick and some seem like damage is permanant. I'm glad the Kratom helped you off the H and I think Kratom is great but if you're looking for normalcy to return, it won't with Kratom especially if you use every day. If you feel like it keeps you from doin H by all means, do it but with Kratom in the mix it's really hard to predict when normalcy will return. I wish you the best and I'm very proud of you!!! You'll feel normal one day, just give it time. Take care and be safe!!
mookiewilson
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2015
- Messages
- 4
Will someone please tell me what is gonna happen if my sister injects borneol flakes? I'm trying everything to talk her out of it. Anyone have scary info I can pass to her