I know blogs count as journals in a sense so I will keep using this. God my life has gotten so much better. I solved the whole living situation by getting a fucking amazing apartment and my friend was like doing everything to make it sound like it wouldnt be a good fit (hes pessimistic) but it comes with a private driveway a back yard and a dining room so he couldnt find a single flaw. So thats cool I get to live where i wanted to and experience the season change exactly how i wanted, i love autumn and we live in a very elm filled part of the city as well as by the park. I am so happy and excited.
I still give my current roommate a year. With each passing day i can see how dramatically different we are. He literally doesnt care to take care of himself so i keep being like dude we need to get new clothes for you, he still dresses like a teenager literally looks like one with baggy pants one of those pull belts that hangs out overly big band tee shirt old shitty shoes. And he will say "theres nothing wrong with these clothes" which i tend to agree, if he had clothes he could put on and not look like that. Its just annoying because he only cares when we need to do something important like sign the new lease and meet the prospective land lords suddenly its "i wish i had nicer clothes" That shit gets annoying because he obviously sees their value.
The other thing is hes constantly believing the crackheads he hears at the clinic and talking about a life im not a part of. Basically like dude we should try to get weed from this guy he says hes grown a lot in the past and can easily get an ounce. Its like dude hes a crack head why are you entertaining his crack head stories. Then there is the whole spending 100s a week on drugs and complaining. He is constantly trying to over use psychedelics and failing i am so tired of hearing it. I barely smoke weed or anything and all i have to hear is "do you think i can trip 30 hours after dosing" dude ive never done that wouldnt think of it... shit like that.
Also his over baring desire to be around people and do things is so annoying. I prefer to have no contacts no more then 3 people i talk to. Hes been on methadone for 7 months and in that time has made zero changes. He still has no hobbies and seeks out distraction literally all the time. Day off is saturday and at 9am he starts wtih "do you think you can give me some of your molly" like bro first off i dont sell my shit secondly get a fucking hobby, its been half a year.
Call me a harsh judge if you will but im tired of dragging a crew behind my success. Thats always the case im the leader the planner the executor and people obviously latch onto that. I knew that would be the case here but i was hoping he would ween himself off his dependence on me. Learn to budget his money, learn to buy what he wants in bulk so he can do it whenever, fix his style and way of relating to people, i dont mind helping after all. It just seems like hes content to riding my wave as long as i will allow. I'm still rebuilding my life and unless he fixes himself hes going to be left behind as everyone has been, i dont give it a second thought.
I love me but hate everyone, go figure. Judge them to death because ive earned it and ive been used by everyone now i pick and choose the ones i allow to be around me. Fuck friendship, that is a word people use to get you to do stuff, we exist together for as long as its beneficial. That is how i see my life.
I still give my current roommate a year. With each passing day i can see how dramatically different we are. He literally doesnt care to take care of himself so i keep being like dude we need to get new clothes for you, he still dresses like a teenager literally looks like one with baggy pants one of those pull belts that hangs out overly big band tee shirt old shitty shoes. And he will say "theres nothing wrong with these clothes" which i tend to agree, if he had clothes he could put on and not look like that. Its just annoying because he only cares when we need to do something important like sign the new lease and meet the prospective land lords suddenly its "i wish i had nicer clothes" That shit gets annoying because he obviously sees their value.
The other thing is hes constantly believing the crackheads he hears at the clinic and talking about a life im not a part of. Basically like dude we should try to get weed from this guy he says hes grown a lot in the past and can easily get an ounce. Its like dude hes a crack head why are you entertaining his crack head stories. Then there is the whole spending 100s a week on drugs and complaining. He is constantly trying to over use psychedelics and failing i am so tired of hearing it. I barely smoke weed or anything and all i have to hear is "do you think i can trip 30 hours after dosing" dude ive never done that wouldnt think of it... shit like that.
Also his over baring desire to be around people and do things is so annoying. I prefer to have no contacts no more then 3 people i talk to. Hes been on methadone for 7 months and in that time has made zero changes. He still has no hobbies and seeks out distraction literally all the time. Day off is saturday and at 9am he starts wtih "do you think you can give me some of your molly" like bro first off i dont sell my shit secondly get a fucking hobby, its been half a year.
Call me a harsh judge if you will but im tired of dragging a crew behind my success. Thats always the case im the leader the planner the executor and people obviously latch onto that. I knew that would be the case here but i was hoping he would ween himself off his dependence on me. Learn to budget his money, learn to buy what he wants in bulk so he can do it whenever, fix his style and way of relating to people, i dont mind helping after all. It just seems like hes content to riding my wave as long as i will allow. I'm still rebuilding my life and unless he fixes himself hes going to be left behind as everyone has been, i dont give it a second thought.
I love me but hate everyone, go figure. Judge them to death because ive earned it and ive been used by everyone now i pick and choose the ones i allow to be around me. Fuck friendship, that is a word people use to get you to do stuff, we exist together for as long as its beneficial. That is how i see my life.