I need a date. Badly.

[PurpleKush1]

Yo i know this is stupid but i need a date but i suck at getting with girls when im sober. I have big anxiety issues and it doesnt help. All the gfs or fuck friends i had i have always met them while coked out of my mind or tweaking, i was skinny and more attractive and i speak beetter and im not shy on stimulants. Also all the sex sessions or dates were always drug fuelled. Believe me or not, the only times i had sex whitout stimulants was prostitutes. Fuck me right? i now lol. The last time i fucked was with a whore about 4 mopnths ago, i had lots of weed booze and amphet and xanax and well she liked drugs so i fucked her and didnt pay her with money buit we smoked and snorted out everything so i guess its the same.

ANyways im 3 months clean from all stimulants, (xcept crack 2 times) and i stopped smoking weed. I dont do alot of benzos anymore too. I only use ghb alcohol and clonazepam sometimes. Well problem is im home all day, i cant go out if im not drunk,benzoed out or oon ghb. All the girls i used to talk to and other things are either with someone or consider me as a crackhead and dont want to hear anything from me. Nice. Im not down to go to the bar, get drunk, blackout, make a fool off myself and either get my ass kicked by somegirls bf or wake up in somegirls bed and not remeber shit. I want to get into a realitionship, because i feel it would be pretty good for me. Im depressed and contact with females always helped that.

Any advice? i know this is extremly stupid but i dont know what to do. Im 19 wfor the record.

 

[Bob Loblaw]

Online dating? I don't know many people in this town & don't get out too much, so it's what I'm doing ATM.

 

[llama112]

You've got to take it slow. Don't go out the first time and expect to come home and get laid. Just try and socialize with people and just hang out rather than automatically find a girl to sleep with. Or to automatically find a girlfriend either. That sort of thing takes time. Just go out, see who you can meet, and go from there. You may need to find new people to hang out with if everyone just thinks you're a crackhead or whatever.

And online dating is a pretty good idea too...

 

[PurpleKush1]

Online dating? I don't know many people in this town & don't get out too much, so it's what I'm doing ATM.

You've got to take it slow. Don't go out the first time and expect to come home and get laid. Just try and socialize with people and just hang out rather than automatically find a girl to sleep with. Or to automatically find a girlfriend either. That sort of thing takes time. Just go out, see who you can meet, and go from there. You may need to find new people to hang out with if everyone just thinks you're a crackhead or whatever.

And online dating is a pretty good idea too...

Welll i though about online dating honestly but i dont know.... i need to find new circles of friends i think because the ones i have now are either in a relationaship or plain too fucked up and dont chill with girls, tonly stay home and get high all day. I know i need to take it slow, but honestly i have no idea how to aprroach girls and socialize with them whitout stims

 

[Hapomen22]

Im kinda like you mate, I know how you feel. I always need to be on something so my inhibitions goes out and my confidence get's better. Otherwise I'm a big mess of anxiety and quitted benzos few weeks ago just like you.

Online dating never worked out for me, it's just too sketch, but you could give it a try who knows. Also a good way to meet girls is just go out on your own and have some fun on whatever drugs you enjoy. I usually do that, make new friends and sometimes build emotional connection/attraction with some girls and they don't forget me easily.

Just take your stims then man, most drug illetrates won't even know you are amp'ed, rolling or whatever, trust me. I've talked socialized with countless girls and the only ones that knew I was rolling were the ones that attend illegal raves and stuff. Most people can only pick up drunk states cause that's so obvious, so yeh. Just take it easy, go with the flow, take whatever drugs that makes you comfortable in big social situations.

As for when sober, just apply your social communication skills when you were high, it's not that hard. Most guys are afraid to talk/flirt with girls in fear of rejection, forget about that. Just be yourself and you'll find someone sooner or later.

 

[LilbabiC]

This probably isn't the answer you are looking for but, IMO you should work on yourself for a while before you attempt to get involved with a woman. It seems that you may have self-esteem issues and that is definitely not going to be good for a relationship. Actually, I hate to say this but if you rush into anything it could cause a relapse. Like I said just my opinion.

I would also suggest that you learn how to have a friendship with a woman first before introducing sex into the mix.

 

[PurpleKush1]

Im kinda like you mate, I know how you feel. I always need to be on something so my inhibitions goes out and my confidence get's better. Otherwise I'm a big mess of anxiety and quitted benzos few weeks ago just like you.

Online dating never worked out for me, it's just too sketch, but you could give it a try who knows. Also a good way to meet girls is just go out on your own and have some fun on whatever drugs you enjoy. I usually do that, make new friends and sometimes build emotional connection/attraction with some girls and they don't forget me easily.

Just take your stims then man, most drug illetrates won't even know you are amp'ed, rolling or whatever, trust me. I've talked socialized with countless girls and the only ones that knew I was rolling were the ones that attend illegal raves and stuff. Most people can only pick up drunk states cause that's so obvious, so yeh. Just take it easy, go with the flow, take whatever drugs that makes you comfortable in big social situations.

As for when sober, just apply your social communication skills when you were high, it's not that hard. Most guys are afraid to talk/flirt with girls in fear of rejection, forget about that. Just be yourself and you'll find someone sooner or later.

Hey thanks for the advice man, its nice to have someone that does understand how you feel haha. If you check out the threads i made in tds and cd disscussion you will see that i had a big breakdown 3 months ago, i can go specific if you want but whitout much detail i cant smoke weed because its make me feel crazy and i cant do amphet or meth or mdma anymore . The only stimulabnts my brain tolerates is cocaine and freebase Coca , its kinda lame having to excuse myself to the bathroom every 30 minutes or every 5 min with crack lol.

im with you on the illetrates part though, ive explained myself on situations rolling and tweaking to a school principal who said he knew what everybody on different drugs looks like . DUmbfuck haha. Ive been rejected by girls too much when i was younger i guess it has created some kind of defense mechanism. Whenever i feel like she is not eager to socialize or is being fake or whatever i have the urge to diss her before she gets the chance to do it to me, idk how to explain it. I cant seem to recreate the same social cvommunications skills whem im sober, i seriously fee like stimulants open up a part of my inteligence that cent be opened otherwise.

Its tyhough to be myself, im a really fucked up person i guess. And im less attractive than i was before, ive putted onm weight since i stopped stimulants. sucks

 

[PurpleKush1]

This probably isn't the answer you are looking for but, IMO you should work on yourself for a while before you attempt to get involved with a woman. It seems that you may have self-esteem issues and that is definitely not going to be good for a relationship. Actually, I hate to say this but if you rush into anything it could cause a relapse. Like I said just my opinion.

I would also suggest that you learn how to have a friendship with a woman first before introducing sex into the mix.

You mean a relapse into drugs? its already happenin im drinking 6 days out of 7 and often adding ghb and dbenzos the mix and crack 2 times since last week i cant stand being sober and alone fuck that. I can have a friendship with a woman whitout ANY problewm thats the more stupid. Only all the lady friends had are now not talking to me because i went psycho and crazy at everyone when i was at my worst with stimulants and did some nasty and really stupid shit iregret to this day. But i chilled with alot of actually nice girls and we always had good realtions.... but i was on stims then so it kinda cancels everything out. I feel ive been stripped of a part of myself since i stopped. And i fear my self esteem issus are irremediable, they are the result of a fucked up childhood and bullying

 

[dopemaster]

I have an anxiety disorder. I had a rough childhood with an abuse father and a rough neighborhood. I couldnt even talk to people properly until I got on klonopin. You might have ADD or an anxiety disorder. You might want to see a shrink. The usually try antidepressants, which I suggest throwing the scrip in the trash, but if you persist they give you stims and benzos. It sure makes things easier if you are prescribed it.

I do agree fucking sluts at the bar has its pitfalls but it works. If you persists in using large quantities of narcotics those are the type of people that will be around you. You are young now and people cannot tell you are high, but they will wise up when they get older. Your at a great age and I would get my anxiety under control now. If I only knew then what I know now.

Also 19 is the sexual prime for most men. Women hit that at 30. I used to fuck alot of women in their 30s. Id even ask them for money. It was a bit of prostitution on my part, but the thing is they didnt know I actually really really wanted to have sex with them. Yes Im a scumbag.

I do what it takes to get sex and drugs. If thats your perogative well if you put your mind to it you can do anything. Of course you could always get mental health help and exercise alot and work on your self esteem. Hope things look up for you.

PS if you go to a psychiatrist faking hearing shit you only get antipsychotics, Narcotics are for anxiety and add

 

[PurpleKush1]

I have an anxiety disorder. I had a rough childhood with an abuse father and a rough neighborhood. I couldnt even talk to people properly until I got on klonopin. You might have ADD or an anxiety disorder. You might want to see a shrink. The usually try antidepressants, which I suggest throwing the scrip in the trash, but if you persist they give you stims and benzos. It sure makes things easier if you are prescribed it.

I do agree fucking sluts at the bar has its pitfalls but it works. If you persists in using large quantities of narcotics those are the type of people that will be around you. You are young now and people cannot tell you are high, but they will wise up when they get older. Your at a great age and I would get my anxiety under control now. If I only knew then what I know now.

Also 19 is the sexual prime for most men. Women hit that at 30. I used to fuck alot of women in their 30s. Id even ask them for money. It was a bit of prostitution on my part, but the thing is they didnt know I actually really really wanted to have sex with them. Yes Im a scumbag.

I do what it takes to get sex and drugs. If thats your perogative well if you put your mind to it you can do anything. Of course you could always get mental health help and exercise alot and work on your self esteem. Hope things look up for you.

PS if you go to a psychiatrist faking hearing shit you only get antipsychotics, Narcotics are for anxiety and add

haha man i totally agree on the adepressants everytime they tried that shit with me i told them to go fuck themselbves LOL . And i have afew disorders, ADD and anxiety are included. I cant get my anxiety under control whitout nacotics thats the problem. And fuck antipsychotics too, they are a notch better than antidepressants but still complete shit. Thank you for the good wishes! i think imma seriously gonna go to the shrink

 

[dopemaster]

They do prescribe adderal and dextroamphetamine for ADD. As far as anxiety xanax, klonopin, and barbituates are usually availible. You have to jump through some hoops to say the least but its doable. Im on such a high dose of benzos they have decided to never take me off them. The doctors are terrified I will have a seizure.

 

[95Land]

I'd also recommend an attempt at getting on a benzo.
I had bad social anxiety as a teenager and also tried to mask it with alcohol and drugs. It's a temporary fix, but then like you're saying, you stop and ask yourself what the fuck you're doing.

My thoughts used to get all jumbled. Somewhat with girls, but more so with authority figures. Teachers and bosses in particular. I felt like I couldn't string sentences together properly, would get nervous about it and it would cycle. It's fucking awful.

I had multiple, multiple doctors try to shove SSRI scripts into my hands. "Oh, this will help with anxiety, too." No, actually it does fuck all...

Find a doctor that listens and is willing to work with you. Klonopin did wonders for me. It slowed things down to normal.
I went as high as 3mgs a day, but eventually found that a lower dose worked OK, too. I just take a mg a day now.

So, yeah. Try that or something similar and see what that does for you. I think you'll find that you're fine with a bit of a prescribed push.
Find a different circle of people/friends and go to it. Talking to girls is a learned thing for some. Takes a bit of practice sometimes. Good luck.

 

[PurpleKush1]

I'd also recommend an attempt at getting on a benzo.
I had bad social anxiety as a teenager and also tried to mask it with alcohol and drugs. It's a temporary fix, but then like you're saying, you stop and ask yourself what the fuck you're doing.

My thoughts used to get all jumbled. Somewhat with girls, but more so with authority figures. Teachers and bosses in particular. I felt like I couldn't string sentences together properly, would get nervous about it and it would cycle. It's fucking awful.

I had multiple, multiple doctors try to shove SSRI scripts into my hands. "Oh, this will help with anxiety, too." No, actually it does fuck all...

Find a doctor that listens and is willing to work with you. Klonopin did wonders for me. It slowed things down to normal.
I went as high as 3mgs a day, but eventually found that a lower dose worked OK, too. I just take a mg a day now.

So, yeah. Try that or something similar and see what that does for you. I think you'll find that you're fine with a bit of a prescribed push.
Find a different circle of people/friends and go to it. Talking to girls is a learned thing for some. Takes a bit of practice sometimes. Good luck.

Yeah i have to learn to do it whitout stim i guess. The thing you describe with teachers, i get that with girls i find attractive lol. But i actually am the opposite of you with authority figures, im agressive and sarcastic towards them because i hate authority, dunoo why. I think benzos will help, only they are not very good for sex lol

 

[95Land]

^I hear ya. It's different flavors of the same issue. Seems like if it's someone where you're "risking" something by talking to them, the SA can then rear its head.
Talking to the opposite sex would seem to be the most common source of stress because you're putting yourself out there so much. Your self worth, confidence, etc is all kind of at risk in those situations. I'm sure you already know all this....

I'd recommend starting with a low dose. The doc will want to do that anyhow most likely. If you can get by on a low dose it'll obviously be easier to get off it if you want.
I dropped from 3 to 1 because I also noticed how severely it affected my sex drive. I started to feel numbed out.
So, I know what you're saying there, too. Just gotta find that proper balance.

 

[dopemaster]

Well of course you are going to get nervous talking to women at your age. You are still young and alot of the dating game is new to you whether or not you know it yet. It takes time and you would be surprised to know women get just as nervous. Id say benzos at school and stims in the bedroom. The write shrink will give you both. Look up the symptoms as you probly have most already and tell them what they need to hear and dont tell them what they should not hear and you will get taken care of. Id start with my UNI medical center or a family doctor. Hell my regular doctor writes my benzos and I would be a social cripple without them. Im not scared to get a second opinion if a doctor does not want to prescribe me something I feel like I need and that is your right as a patient to get as many opinions as you feel neccesary. Some places just dont write narcotic scrips even though IME narcotics are usually the most effective medications. The thing is the abuse issues that come along with them. Alot of doctors jack themselves off if they think they solved your problems without narcotics. Also some doctors get kickbacks from certain drug manufacturers such as the makers of shit you probly dont want like some antidepressants. Often times I see pharm reps in doctors offices with lockboxes full of samples waiting to sell my doctor their latest pills to prescribe.

 

[PurpleKush1]

^I hear ya. It's different flavors of the same issue. Seems like if it's someone where you're "risking" something by talking to them, the SA can then rear its head.
Talking to the opposite sex would seem to be the most common source of stress because you're putting yourself out there so much. Your self worth, confidence, etc is all kind of at risk in those situations. I'm sure you already know all this....

I'd recommend starting with a low dose. The doc will want to do that anyhow most likely. If you can get by on a low dose it'll obviously be easier to get off it if you want.
I dropped from 3 to 1 because I also noticed how severely it affected my sex drive. I started to feel numbed out.
So, I know what you're saying there, too. Just gotta find that proper balance.

Yee thats what i thought doing i have 2mg klonopin and 2mg and more KILLS my sex drive lol...im thinking dexedrine (fuck adderall) script with 1mg klonopin would be perfect. Problem with stims is they shrink down there..... but at the same time i can last for hours on them so it cancels each other out hahahga

Well of course you are going to get nervous talking to women at your age. You are still young and alot of the dating game is new to you whether or not you know it yet. It takes time and you would be surprised to know women get just as nervous. Id say benzos at school and stims in the bedroom. The write shrink will give you both. Look up the symptoms as you probly have most already and tell them what they need to hear and dont tell them what they should not hear and you will get taken care of. Id start with my UNI medical center or a family doctor. Hell my regular doctor writes my benzos and I would be a social cripple without them. Im not scared to get a second opinion if a doctor does not want to prescribe me something I feel like I need and that is your right as a patient to get as many opinions as you feel neccesary. Some places just dont write narcotic scrips even though IME narcotics are usually the most effective medications. The thing is the abuse issues that come along with them. Alot of doctors jack themselves off if they think they solved your problems without narcotics. Also some doctors get kickbacks from certain drug manufacturers such as the makers of shit you probly dont want like some antidepressants. Often times I see pharm reps in doctors offices with lockboxes full of samples waiting to sell my doctor their latest pills to prescribe.

I dont go to school anymore and never will gp back to the brainwashing thats called school its too much me....that kinda tkes away from the chances to meet girls though i guess . I am definitly going to put some pressure on them though, i am not going to tk any adeps or antipsychs fuck that. I agree with you 100 % the best medications are the narcotic medications. BEnzos, opiates, stims. Its a shame there is no legal cocaine prescribed for ADD . What do you mean though pharm reps?

 

[95Land]

If it was me, I'd just try the benzo. It sounds like you've got social anxiety disorder. Do you think you have ADD?
If you do, that's different. But if you're just gonna chase it for the stimulant effect, it's kind of like where you were at previously. More reliant on chems then you wanted to be.
If you've got social anxiety disorder, the hope with a benzo would be that it would normalize you. Make you feel yourself.
Trust me, for this part of life you want to be able to rely on yourself and pretty much only yourself. It builds confidence, which builds confidence, which builds confidence.......
You're 19. A mg of benzo shouldn't knock your sex drive too out of order. Just my opinion.....

 

[dopemaster]

By pharm reps I mean people who work for the companies. Like the folks from endo might go give a doctor a couple thousand samples of opana and a wad of cash so the doctor prescribes endo brand only. All the doctor has to do is write something like "crush resistant formula" or "brand name only". Its a common and corrupt practice. You can spot these guys cuz they carry safes and wear suits and ties and travel in a group of two.

Another example would be a prostetic company that sells canes and such. They ask the doctor to prescribe their products and line their pockets for doing so.

You would be surprised how corrupt the system is. This is why so many doctors insist one particular medication is the best. The get what are referred to as kick backs which are basically bribes. Sometimes these also include free narcotic samples which the doctor can give to patients or take home as well as cash. Its a grey area legally, but it goes down and thats just the way it is.

 

[PurpleKush1]

If it was me, I'd just try the benzo. It sounds like you've got social anxiety disorder. Do you think you have ADD?
If you do, that's different. But if you're just gonna chase it for the stimulant effect, it's kind of like where you were at previously. More reliant on chems then you wanted to be.
If you've got social anxiety disorder, the hope with a benzo would be that it would normalize you. Make you feel yourself.
Trust me, for this part of life you want to be able to rely on yourself and pretty much only yourself. It builds confidence, which builds confidence, which builds confidence.......
You're 19. A mg of benzo shouldn't knock your sex drive too out of order. Just my opinion.....

i am diagnosed with add, speed used to calm me down and make me more focused. Not anymore because i fucked my brain up and it still not normal but wtvr...I currently take klonopin 2mg a cuple times a week, but from last summer to end february 2013 i abused xanax like a madman, i didnt take that much of it usualy max 3 or 4 mgs a night but ALWAYS mixing alcohol with it, lets say usually 4-5 Ls of beer or anywhere betweena 26 ouncer and a 40 ouncer of liquor. If i didnt have money for booze i would eat 6-8 mgs and throw some codeine into the mix. Xanax made me feel a new ^person back then but it turned against me. My pattern of use would be like 2 weeks intense abuse everyday, then 2 weeks alcohol weed and stimulants because id have to wait until the next prescvription. Well in january i acquired 90 .5 xanax, ate them in a bit less than three weeks, and mixing them with heroin and booze everyday, then i had a fuck up with some very very nasty E pill and since then my anxiety is like 100 times worst. And with girls its worse also i always feel they look at me like im a piece of shti and it drives me crazy. I cant seem to bring up myu confidence. Weed usually helped but it makes me go crazy now so i cant eve use it. ANd even .5 clonazepam, while i barely feel it, it makes it alot harder to finish and the overall pleasure is reduced alot...

By pharm reps I mean people who work for the companies. Like the folks from endo might go give a doctor a couple thousand samples of opana and a wad of cash so the doctor prescribes endo brand only. All the doctor has to do is write something like "crush resistant formula" or "brand name only". Its a common and corrupt practice. You can spot these guys cuz they carry safes and wear suits and ties and travel in a group of two.

Another example would be a prostetic company that sells canes and such. They ask the doctor to prescribe their products and line their pockets for doing so.

You would be surprised how corrupt the system is. This is why so many doctors insist one particular medication is the best. The get what are referred to as kick backs which are basically bribes. Sometimes these also include free narcotic samples which the doctor can give to patients or take home as well as cash. Its a grey area legally, but it goes down and thats just the way it is.

Damn man i knew there was corruption in the system but i didnt think it was that bad lol. Well i guess it explains why a certain shrink wanted me to absolutly take Nasty ass PAroxetine for extreme anxiety and mild psychosis and it was the first and last time i gave ad's a try, shit made everything worst. But its really interesting, i would have no problem if they would do that with narcotics instead of SSRI's !

 

[dopemaster]

Well you can always not fill scrips you dont want like prozac, paxil, antipyschotics, antidepressants, and such.