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I need a damn good peptalk

H

HeadHigh

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 7, 2015
Messages
740
Ive been struggling recently while trying to stay sober, and I could really use a good peptalk. I know this is a good community on Bluelight, and that's one of the reasons I joined, so I could really use y'all's help right now. Little background info for some pointers, I am in college and doing well so far, Ive bettled with depression in the recent past but am doing much better for now, and even though i know that drugs exacerbate my depression and anxiety, I just can't help but want to get SUPER friggin high right now even though i know it won't help.

I just need someone to talk some sense into me, please
 
Which drug(s) are you addicted to? Using any drugs will not help right now since as you said it will just make your depression or anxiety worse, and you're in college and your education should be your #1 priority. Are there local AA/NA meetings you can go to? Or sobriety groups for students at your university?

I am moving this to sober living.
 
Do the school thing, there's no future in the drug game. Success or pain, that's your choice. The highs are fleeting but the lows stay for much longer, not to mention the pain we cause loved ones. What better reason to not use do u need?
 
You need to find some purposeful outlook other than getting high when in your spare time. It's possible even that you're just bored. Stress, anxiety, and depression will only be potentiated by boredom. Participate in something, anything, even if it's just going for a walk at night. You need something that can distract you, that isn't an usable substance. That won't generate an artificial high. What you need is something similar to a higher power. Something that motivates you. It could be God, or it could be a tiny little pebble. It doesn't matter. Go do something, anything. Donate your time, go for a walk, talk to an old lady who is afraid to cross the road at an intersection, and help, or leave her. You need to distract yourself from drug use.
 
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I love the the idea of a loan being juxtaposed with using drugs. When using a drug, you're taking out a loan with your neurotransmitters/ body. You're gonna feel good, but you WILL pay for the good feeling and WITH interest. You will have a comdown from a stimulant, or rebound anxiety from a benzo or withdrawal from opiates or a hangover from drinking.

Can you afford that loan?

Maybe you can.... but do you really want to?
 
THIS IS A GREAT RESOURCE for help; HOWEVER man put the majority of your energy finding a really good therapist and real life support group...

trust me the best advice i wish i would've taken in your scenario was o find a VERY Good addiction therapist and go see him asap or find one till you look one and see him 3x a week if possible; formal 1 on 1 therapy will get you there MUCH faster than the format ont his website ; which i agree can help people; but most here are not professionals;

the best counselors are the ones who have been former addicts them selves and overcome addiction;

if you need SPECIFIC Help in finding on in your area who is good well and qualified PM ME

Many people on bluelight give great advice some shitty, some forget it, the guy giving the great advice is shooting speedballs, the guy giving shitting advice has been sober 6 months, and the forget it guy has been sober 10 years.. LOL just a funny joke..



EDIT: JUST TO SAY for the MOST PART MOST THE BLERS so far on this thred have given good advice. I wasnt speaking specifically about this thread but generally speaking.
You need real help man from people who are actually living good productive sober lives, again no offense to ppl on this board but anyone can talk the talk make it sound good..

ultimately addiction treatment in the US is SEVERELY FAILING its sad; There needs to be a MAJOR overhaul in the whole system.

Also man open up to your close friends if you have any , or your family, and ASK your family for help..

HELL dude if you really need a smack in a face ill fucking pay for a on 1 on1 session for you to go see a therapist but dont waste my money or his time. Most therapists will always give you a free 30 min trial session to see if they will be a good match..

peace and good luck,,,

You arent in that BAD in a situation but its all relative! but trust me you can get OUT OF THIS before it gets way worse...

on a side note Capn H, whats up dude??? You ever gonna PM me back bro lets talk its been too long!
 
Your college should offer free counseling through the school. I highly suggest you take advantage of that perk schools offer. Often the counseling center is staffed by highly qualified therapists who also teach at the school. I got 2 whole years worth of free counseling with a PHD level counselor. Where now that I am not in school I am paying 60 an hour for a therapist with a masters degree.
 
This has all been really helpful and im so happy that everyone jumps on the chance to help someone like myself out.
To answer some of the questions posed, i have used the counselor on my campus but i go to a very large college and they are booked for months at a time.
I am in the process of looking for a personal counselor, but have yet to find one.
I am also coincidentally majoring in addiction psychology, but i know that i am human and need help just like anyone else.

Nonetheless, i did not end up using last night, and i actually got the motivation to quit using all together, so it was a helpful experience.
(Also, i dont use any one drug in particular, i literally use anything i can get my hands on)
 
crimsonjunk said:
Your college should offer free counseling through the school. I highly suggest you take advantage of that perk schools offer. Often the counseling center is staffed by highly qualified therapists who also teach at the school. I got 2 whole years worth of free counseling with a PHD level counselor. Where now that I am not in school I am paying 60 an hour for a therapist with a masters degree.
Click to expand...

Great advice.
 
Yeah colllge doest offfer some counseilng; but you really u should find a really top guy who has a PHD addiction in your town if the college counseing wait is truely that ong; which im not calling you a lier but how long could th wait actually be ? I bet if you calld the and said you were really struggling and seriousy thining about using drugs they would be able to squeeze you in;; agin dont take this the wrong way;


But you remind m ealot of myself when i was youner, I always usd to plead for help but deep dpwn onside really wasnt read to get therapy or lookg inside myslef but just wanted validation of others to tell me to not "use" and AGAIN im speaking for MYSELF this is most likely and probalby not you

but it happens alot;

the worst thing about drug addiction is prgression and how long it takes to get a bottom to be willing to even make a change
 
The key word is a good therapist I see an addiction specialist every Friday at noon and he's terrible lol. No help at all...he's always looking at the clock. I have said to him lol "you seem distracted".

Last Friday, I was feeling really overwhelmed by the enormity of rebuilding my life after the mass destruction I created through a very bad relapse. I was in the mindset of "how will I ever do this, and get back any kind of life" I lost so much. Instead of trying to encourage me he sat there, blinking and staring at me, then say "Yeah, I see what you're saying...and with everything you have working against you" O.M .G. !! W.T.F.????

My response "So I mine as well kill myself or just start using again-on a rampage. What's the difference right?" He just stared at me. So...I told myself that life can be good, if I put my heart into it...and to DO something...anything to get out of that mindset.

I told my bestfriend about it. She said "that's it. find another therapist...if your insurance pays for him, there are many others" I have been seeing this guy about 4mos. I gave it my best try. As above posters have said, it's important to find a good therapist. I actually am looking forward to finding a good one.

You can do this HeadHigh....as cire113 said, addiction really does progress whether you're using or not. I'm sure you know this...but I didn't realize how true it was....until I relapsed after being clean for a few years It was like I had never stopped, and my tolerance was higher than it had ever been. The damage I did to my life was worse than it had ever been. I did a bang up job. You can make your life better...time flies. As time goes on the more you'll lose-not fun at all. Wish I could be at the fork in the road where you are, and choose the right path....

Use your experience to help others because You understand first hand how strong addiction really is. Good luck to you HeadHigh.
 
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