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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I moved to Israel to get clean.

im not doing great though. i feel empty a lot. i don't like it here. i don't like my job here most days and i don't like a lot of the people i meet. my Hebrew is also bad so i feel like a retard most of the time. im going to the army here soon and i think it might actually be too much for me handle
 
^ Are you going to join the army out of choice? That does sound like it might be too much for you right now - you're still recovering, it can take a long time for things to normalise after a heroin habit.. it sounds like you have a lot of symptoms of PAWS (link) to me - it really can take a lot of time to readjust and get your head back on track, even months after kicking the dope...

If you're really not happy where you are and it isn't the life for you, could you try somewhere new? I know it might seem like you are running away, but I don't see it that way at all - you've got to do what is right for you, whatever that may be...
 
yea that's why im joining the army. i want to do something good. instead of only doing bad constantly
 
Ah okay, I understand. I am concerned that you are expressing doubts though - it is a very big step to take.. and it can be a very demanding and traumatic job, which might not be ideal for a recovering addict.. I'm not saying it is the wrong choice, just saying I would think very carefully about it. There are other ways to help people that are a lot less intense :)
 
effie said:
"Wherevere you go, there you are" is an excellent thing to remember. Concentrate on being happy and comfortable being you, and you can be happy anywhere. Easier said than done, of course...
Click to expand...

this is exceptional advice. thank you effie...
 
I think it's not an entirely bad idea for you to join the army. It will teach you to appreciate regular life a lot more when you get out. It will also teach you more respect for your body and your capabilities. But it will also beat you down and you will hate it the whole time ;) Go for it dammit!!

man, we all encounter annoying people, a lot of people hate their bosses[ almost everyone], a lot of things in life suck, but we have to cope with them without horribly addictive drugs n shit. i mean you're doing great CONSIDERING you were a dope fiend not 8 months ago. you really should be going to a counselor or something if you're so confused anyway. don't you think it would help? do you talk to people around you about your feelings and fears and situation? you need to do express these things or you will always feel alienated where you are and with the people you are with.

i know all too well the ups and downs of PAWS but im convinced that riding them out is worth your life and ability to function and possibly achieving lasting happiness and inner peace. so you're doing good just by riding them out.

you're being too self critical. it's a thing us Jews do, I know all too well. ;)
 
yea or course i have doubts. i think most people with a conscience tend to think twice before picking up arms against other humans. but. if i don't do it. i won't get another chance later and i might regret it. also i don't really have anyone to talk to. i talk to my girl back home but i can't talk to her about my problems with other girls. only drugs. i talk to my friends but they don't understand cuz they're not addicts. i don't think there's any English na meetings around here. i have one addict friend i used to talk to a lot here but i hooked up with her and now its kind of awkward. that's actually why i posted here. maybe im tired of having no release
 
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There must be some universities near your home or work.

Possibly contact the linguistics department and see if there are any Hebrew/English groups that meet to practice conversation.. usually at a coffeehouse or something. Yeah?
 
I suggested the linguist groups because it's a good way to practice Hebrew (while they get to practice English).

Also, putting all your eggs in one basket so to speak... iffy. "Pretty good" "I think" = wiggle words.

GL<3
 
not to depend on this new chick for happiness

you sound okay though. i guess if you live in a small town in israel it could be hard. but nowhere is far from anywhere in israel esp. wit all the buses and trains. you're lucky to be there.
 
i slept over her place last night. it was our third date. didn't get any but that's alright. maybe tonight. also i live as far south in Israel as possible
 
Shalom alekum, seen this thread and it interested me because I used to live in Haifa myself. Why did you choose to go to Israel, are you Jewish?
 
I came to Israel cuz I'm a Russian Jew. My life was fucked up so I decided to make the most drastic change I could. I immigrated to the holy land and decided to enlist in a foreign army. I wanted to discover my roots and find out who I really am.

The girl is on her way back to US now.
 
Interesting, I too am Russian but not Jewish. You made a good choice for an extraordinary change around, Israel is a beautiful place to live in. After you're done 3 years in IDF you'll be a whole new person.
 
i doubt it but maybe it'll help me finally grow up a bit. i saw a guy fishing yesterday. he was just sitting and chilling. with his line cast out into the red sea. he wasn't getting drunk or listening to music or anything because he was already at peace. i want to be able to sit like that too one day
 
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