I miss my father

[HCandKROD]

I'm a 48 y/o male and I was adopted at age 11 by a loving mother and father. I felt like I was in heaven when I came from a group home environment to a room of my own!! My mother was president of a well known bank in the US and my father was CEO of a paper mill that produced cigarette paper to R.J Reynolds and JOB rolling papers.I was a troubled child as I had basically grown up in the wild on my own.My mother had problems with this and tried in her own way to fix the problem i.e. psychologist and whatnot. My father tried to talk to me and in his way was a big help. As I grew older and threw off my wild ways he became more of a friend and confidant. So, two years ago he contracted brain cancer and was dead within 1 month. It's been over two years and I don't think about him every day.I just have days where I want to talk to him hear his calm,reassuring voice once more.My post has no meaning other than to keep his existence alive (his name was William..Bill to people who knew him). If anybody out there loves their parents, let them know now!! Tomorrow could be too late! I just miss my father greatly.

 

[DeathDomokun]

I think you'll get more of what you're looking for over at TDS.

 

[captaincaveman]

I lost my father at the age of 8. I think about him regularly. Nothing wrong with keeping his existence alive. I light candles for the those I've lost. Unfortunately I was too young to express what impact he had on my life which is why I do my silly little ritual once a week. If I were you, I'd try and honour his memory by living the way he wanted to you live. Don't spiral into a pit of self pity (doesn't sound like you are) but remember the good times and be strong. Nothing wrong with keeping people's memory alive

 

[Swimmingdancer]

I had a really bad relationship with my father growing up. Then we were finally just starting to have a good relationship when he suddenly died. I always try to be thankful that I had those good times with him before he died. Maybe you (HCandKROD) can focus on the good times you spent with your dad as well? Not everyone gets that gift at all, even for a short time.

 

[stardust.hero]

HC your father and mother sound like such beautiful people. To take in a child--a trouble child, well beyond the years of playful goofiness shows what pureness they have inside them. They could have chosen to adopt a baby but instead they chose you . You both were blessed and I'm so happy you got the chance to experience a wonderful father like him . Your fathers beauty and heart obviously lives on within you.

 

[hthr007]

I'm a 48 y/o male and I was adopted at age 11 by a loving mother and father. I felt like I was in heaven when I came from a group home environment to a room of my own!! My mother was president of a well known bank in the US and my father was CEO of a paper mill that produced cigarette paper to R.J Reynolds and JOB rolling papers.I was a troubled child as I had basically grown up in the wild on my own.My mother had problems with this and tried in her own way to fix the problem i.e. psychologist and whatnot. My father tried to talk to me and in his way was a big help. As I grew older and threw off my wild ways he became more of a friend and confidant. So, two years ago he contracted brain cancer and was dead within 1 month. It's been over two years and I don't think about him every day.I just have days where I want to talk to him hear his calm,reassuring voice once more.My post has no meaning other than to keep his existence alive (his name was William..Bill to people who knew him). If anybody out there loves their parents, let them know now!! Tomorrow could be too late! I just miss my father greatly.

I'm so sorry for your loss HC.

Death and grief is never easy. Your parents sound like amazing, beautiful people. It takes a special type of person to adopt. I admire people very much who choose to adopt.

When I lost my grandmother in 2009, I was a wreck. She too was a beautiful and strong woman who always wanted the best for me. It's been a few years since her passing, but every day I too think of her. Her death was sudden so it sometimes feels surreal.

What I did was created a "memory box" -- this contains various pictures, a vial of her perfume and other memorabilia all related to my grandmother. I purchased it from a craft store and filled it with all types of goodies.

Some days are worse than others for me. There are some days when all I want to do is break down and cry when I think of my grandmother and all the great memories that we had, and other times that I break down in tears thinking of those same exact memories. We will never become immune to grief. When someone special that we love is lost, it is completely heartbreaking.

I'm sorry my words aren't the best right now, I'm a little tired from work; but my main point that I am trying to make is that you are not alone. You're grieving because you are missing a beautiful person, and that is completely natural.