i'm 26.
i still don't know what to think of life. i remember when i was in elementary school and i thought "i don't have to do anything, but work at school, my life is long and i'll let it play out." granted i didn't think that prophetically, but that's the general idea. the older i get... middle school (grades 7-8) i thought to myself, wow. life's getting different. you start making that transition to the "real world" you learn what discipline is (if you're like me) you start making friends that you realize have lots to offer. you start realizing your place in life. you have a more extensive field to compare with.
high school comes, you realize now that if you haven't found your place in life, you're still ok, but getting short of time. i figured by that time. i'm still playing it by ear. why worry. i was a runner, a soccer player, a golfer (not organized, but in my own yard... pretty damn good at the time), a baseball player... i was smart (so i think). i had a lot to look forward to.
high school graduation comes... day 1.
since that day, i've realized, life's an adventure. it's not fun. not always. it CAN be fun, but you have to make of it what you want from it. i'm still learning. i still live at home with my parents. and you know what... people make fun of me all the time about it, but guess what. i love it. not because it saves me money. or whatever. but because i'm still relatively immature. i can't make and keep good relationships these days. i can't communicate with people without becoming extremely cynical. i need the honesty of my parents to keep me sane. add to that, my father has a herniated disc in his spine. mind you we own a good number of acres and we have a multiacre garden which we grown our own tomatoes, potatoes, pumpkins, 3 kinds of corn, lettuce, cabbage, squash, strawberries, cucumbers, cantelopes, etc... many more i can't think of now. point being, my help around this house is needed. my dad just had his 68th birthday and though his mind is as sharp as ever, his body is waring down. he needs me. my mom, she's a bit more independent, but you can tell she needs me too. i feel like she knows that with the problems in the economy and how my dad is, etc. she knows that life for me is better as it is, but she knows that if i want to leave i can. the problem is, i've been through so much with my parents that i can't imagine leaving them now.
i remember my dad coming home from the hospital after having to call 911 to get my mom to the emergency room. she passed out after some major blood loss. turned out she had cancer. when my dad told me that... we both cried. we hugged. bear in mind i'm not an affectionate person and neither is my dad... but we we naturally in an extremely emotional place at that time.
i don't even remember what i'm gettin at right now, but i wanna say. fuck what people think about living at home. i love it and i know my parents like having me here. i'm not a loser, i'm not a momma's boy fag that can't grow up and get the fuck out of the house. i love my parents, i know they need me, and i know that though i'm 26 years old, i still need them. i've made some mistakes in my life, and until i know i'm ready to be independent, i don't mind having my parents help pave the way. they never do too much for me, but they do enough to let me learn my lesson.
they're my rock. i love my parents. and i thank them for everything they've done for me.
i still don't know what to think of life. i remember when i was in elementary school and i thought "i don't have to do anything, but work at school, my life is long and i'll let it play out." granted i didn't think that prophetically, but that's the general idea. the older i get... middle school (grades 7-8) i thought to myself, wow. life's getting different. you start making that transition to the "real world" you learn what discipline is (if you're like me) you start making friends that you realize have lots to offer. you start realizing your place in life. you have a more extensive field to compare with.
high school comes, you realize now that if you haven't found your place in life, you're still ok, but getting short of time. i figured by that time. i'm still playing it by ear. why worry. i was a runner, a soccer player, a golfer (not organized, but in my own yard... pretty damn good at the time), a baseball player... i was smart (so i think). i had a lot to look forward to.
high school graduation comes... day 1.
since that day, i've realized, life's an adventure. it's not fun. not always. it CAN be fun, but you have to make of it what you want from it. i'm still learning. i still live at home with my parents. and you know what... people make fun of me all the time about it, but guess what. i love it. not because it saves me money. or whatever. but because i'm still relatively immature. i can't make and keep good relationships these days. i can't communicate with people without becoming extremely cynical. i need the honesty of my parents to keep me sane. add to that, my father has a herniated disc in his spine. mind you we own a good number of acres and we have a multiacre garden which we grown our own tomatoes, potatoes, pumpkins, 3 kinds of corn, lettuce, cabbage, squash, strawberries, cucumbers, cantelopes, etc... many more i can't think of now. point being, my help around this house is needed. my dad just had his 68th birthday and though his mind is as sharp as ever, his body is waring down. he needs me. my mom, she's a bit more independent, but you can tell she needs me too. i feel like she knows that with the problems in the economy and how my dad is, etc. she knows that life for me is better as it is, but she knows that if i want to leave i can. the problem is, i've been through so much with my parents that i can't imagine leaving them now.
i remember my dad coming home from the hospital after having to call 911 to get my mom to the emergency room. she passed out after some major blood loss. turned out she had cancer. when my dad told me that... we both cried. we hugged. bear in mind i'm not an affectionate person and neither is my dad... but we we naturally in an extremely emotional place at that time.
i don't even remember what i'm gettin at right now, but i wanna say. fuck what people think about living at home. i love it and i know my parents like having me here. i'm not a loser, i'm not a momma's boy fag that can't grow up and get the fuck out of the house. i love my parents, i know they need me, and i know that though i'm 26 years old, i still need them. i've made some mistakes in my life, and until i know i'm ready to be independent, i don't mind having my parents help pave the way. they never do too much for me, but they do enough to let me learn my lesson.
they're my rock. i love my parents. and i thank them for everything they've done for me.
its beautiful ryan.
