• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i love him so completely and i cant let him know

B

bbgirlclueless

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
140
I have a group of friends (;all clean and dont know about my habit) and one of them is a guy

He's the nicest,most selfless person ive ever met and i just love him..completely.

But i have social anxiety disorder and frequently take benzos and opiates to get by,he treats every girl in our group the same,with intense care and love. Sometimes we've sat together and he's shared things with me,he doesnt with anyone.i live in india where even touchingthe opposite genders hand is tabboo,yet during that intimate conversation he knocked hands with me in a casual cute way,after asking my permission that i did not mind

He even head butted me in a caring way when i was telling hm somethng personal nd hurtful..

He calls me every night,yet with him in our group ive never noticed him behaving in any special way towards me,staring or anything..he behaves exactly like he does with my four other friends.

I have a disorder in which its extremelyhard for me to talk,so im avoiding him because love mixed with friendship makes him uncomfortable,he's from a very backward background..sorry for the long post guys but im hurting so much inside i have no idea what to do

Im in a dark place so im just writing what i feel,ive stopped making eye contact with him because my heart squeezes with pain every time i look at him,i want to delete these feelings because i know he deserves the best..not someone who can hardly speak without opiates and benzos,and even crazily with that.

The other day we all went to an amusement park and i moved over so he could sit with my friend,my friend said 'sit down' he said no padma will sit here,crossed and sat next to me,i dont know why im writing this here,or even saying anything but im so completely scared of going near him ( and letting him find out wat hell my issues can create (it has happened before) that im killing my feelings.....i dont know,im so hurt i have no idea what to do except post here

He's the kind of guy who cannot sense if q girl likes him,he was born in a village without any girls,

Im just so hurting,i dont know whether to squeeze my head or tell him its become hard for me,i have mentaal issues and endour friendship...sorry for the typos im typing from a phone...

I dont know..
 
I'm not sure what your customs are as far being allowed to date , wow, so different then here.
I truly believe in love tho :-)
Don't end your friendship, it's all part of life's plan 4 u, we live & learn thru love <3
 
never end a friendship because you care to much about a person
P.S. how can you be born in a village with no women? you kinda need a woman to be born, right?
 
let him know how you feel, but dont let anything get in the way. if he cant love you for who you are and the things you do then he wont love the real you. he seems understanding, im sure with time he will come to accept you even if he doesnt at first. dont hold anything back or let anything get in the way of your dreams.
 
Ive been avoiding him and my misery has been showing a bit on my face at work,my girl friends didnt notice but he's asked me a hundred times wats wrong.if i tell him he'll break off friendship with me,because once i told him about a girl we knew who liked him and he said u shouldnt have told me because now i wont know how to act around her,the comfort is gonewith my half friendship with her,he was laughing when he said it but i could sense he was serious,and he didnt like her much to begin with.

He just put the phone down and told me that he wouldnt disturb me again and he sounded so broken when he said it.

It must be his caring nature that makes him so miserable about me,for how could i be special to him when i know for a complete fact that he has never even had a crush on a girl,he doesnt identify the feeling.

With no girls in him hometown village i meant that boys and girls werent allowed to speak.

Im so broken right now,i live him...i just do and the fear of losing his friendship is too much..
 
Seriously, you should tell him how you feel, maybe do it over the phone if it makes you more comfortable
 
if i loved someone that much, and they were available, i would leap at the opportunity to say "i think ur cute, want to go out for coffee sometime?"

its 1 sentence, and there is a good chance that he does have a crush on you, and if he doesnt like you its better to find out this fact earlier than later

give us 1 reason besides social anxiety etc (most of us have this) why you shouldnt let him know how you feel
 
If it's difficult for you to tell him physically because of your anxiety, write it down. No need to avoid him just because you don't know how to tell him how you feel.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top