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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I lost everything, and I'm going to end up dead.

Well, I'm still alive.
I am going thru horrible withdrawals.
I have to see my PO tomorrow but I have no way to get there, not a penny to my name.

I have been throwing up non-stop, it's been horrible.
I'm running low on my gabapentin which is not good, I do not wish to withdrawal off those too.

Not really feeling well enough to even really type.

Much love
 
I am so glad to see your post, I've been so concerned for you! Let your PO know prior to your appointment that you can't travel out to them, maybe they can come to you. If your not doing well call an ambulance and go to the hospital...you don't want to take any chances with your health. Maybe your PO can meet you there? I think at this point you should tell them your situation, maybe they can give you options other than jail. They know you are not well, this is a health issue not a criminal issue.
 
man, why did you spend all your money on heroin/fentanyl?? you wrote several times that you were running out of money. why didn't you save money for a real emergency?? like maybe buy a plane ticket to anywhere else?? i don't know if anyone explicitly told you on this thread but I'm pretty sure we hinted at the idea of not spending any more money on heroin. because look at you now, no drugs, no money, and worse withdrawals than you would have had than just quitting from the getgo. And you might go to jail. Was getting high worth wasting all your money and violating parole? of course this is a criminal issue. why else would he be going to jail? parole is supposed to be a second chance and you completely took advantage of that. and now you need to convince your parole officer that you didn't. this should be priority right now. don't worry about withdrawal. settle things with your parole officer first. you need to avoid jail at all costs because they will not treat any of your medical problems in there. You will be withdrawing like a motherfucker in there with no medical supervision whatsoever. You have to settle things with your parole officer. literally your entire life is in the hands of your parole officer. you need to convince him that you are innocent even if you're not. I see the way you been handling your drugs from your posts, and honestly, I don't think you'll make it in jail. At the very least, you will be in withdrawal hell
 
i guess this is it then. if you're really going back to jail, I reckon that no one on here can help you. I guess this is goodbye. I want to thank you for the contribution that you made on my thread, although minor, it made me really think about my life and realize it is not that shitty after all. if you do manage to avoid jail, make another thread and us bluelighters on here will figure out what you should do maybe. if you go to jail, post when you come out. YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!!
 
When the opies get you good and proper, especially when you're luck's down, logic rarely features in the equation. I reckon Wow could probably see the illogic as he was handing over all that cash, when you're that addicted the brain is short circuited and it makes no difference. It's like a powerful self defense mechanism from the unconscious that the conscious can barely affect.

It's only when that unconscious mechanism is forced to halt and withdraw that logic can once again begin to get the upper hand.

Keep at it Wow, Deadendgame is spot on that you got to dig deep and see your PO asap.
 
Im in a similar boat bro. Fucked up. Forced to quit. Super sick at the moment. check into a psych ward is my advice. I did that before when i was fucked. They feed u and give u drugs to sleep. and a place to crash. tell em youll off yourself if u dont get help.
 
deadendgame because hes a junkie. Nuff said. Clearly you don't understand the disease.
 
Wow- perhaps your legal issues aren't as bad as you think. I honestly don't know anyone that's able to change dates up and get around their PO like you. In NJ you'd already be back in jail since monday. Maybe they're more lenient where you live or it's not as bad as you think. There are no changing dates and appts in my town. They'll take any excuse they can get to throw you back in and add more on to your fines. I completely disagree with this form of rehabilitation but that's how it is here. Use that to your advantage and come clean with your PO it seems like they want to believe you and help and aren't out to get you. Our justice system is sickening. I just watched a movie (true story) about a couple that kidnapped a woman for 7 yrs and killed another. After 7 yrs the wife helped her escape and got full amunity bc she testified against the husband. How does that happen? Yet an addict whom hurts themselves and not others is thrown in jail. Meanwhile, the couple stored this woman in a wooden box under their bed. The husband was into s&m so the wife helped kidnap someone so she didn't have to do it with him anymore. The whole thing infuriates me that she got off and addicts go to jail.
 
My3sons said:
Wow- perhaps your legal issues aren't as bad as you think. I honestly don't know anyone that's able to change dates up and get around their PO like you. In NJ you'd already be back in jail since monday. Maybe they're more lenient where you live or it's not as bad as you think. There are no changing dates and appts in my town. They'll take any excuse they can get to throw you back in and add more on to your fines. I completely disagree with this form of rehabilitation but that's how it is here. Use that to your advantage and come clean with your PO it seems like they want to believe you and help and aren't out to get you. Our justice system is sickening. I just watched a movie (true story) about a couple that kidnapped a woman for 7 yrs and killed another. After 7 yrs the wife helped her escape and got full amunity bc she testified against the husband. How does that happen? Yet an addict whom hurts themselves and not others is thrown in jail. Meanwhile, the couple stored this woman in a wooden box under their bed. The husband was into s&m so the wife helped kidnap someone so she didn't have to do it with him anymore. The whole thing infuriates me that she got off and addicts go to jail.
Click to expand...


I've been wondering the seriousness of the charges as well. I lived in his city for four years and the criminal justice system there is anything but lenient. I've never heard of being able to change dates etc on such short notice either. The system is overworked and understaffed...and extremely unorganized. I wonder if his PO officer has too large a caseload.

Regarding the last part of your post...how horrible. I don't understand how people like that get off. Of course, I can't really wrap my brain around any of it and will probably have nightmares tonight. It's just so sad.
 
Your PO is trying to work with you but if you keep blowing it off they will eventually get fed up and revoke your probation. No one can help you if your not willing to put any effort into helping yourself.
 
I have not had any dope since Wed.
This is my last night at the hotel before I'm completely on the streets.
Sad thing is, my parent's are welcoming me back however I am stuck in this county until my court stuff is dealt with.
So, my plan is to go to the hospital and do an IVC, how lovely. I am just going to take it day by day.
I may just go ahead and surrender with probation and go to jail. 3 Hots and a Cot, I suppose.

Regarding my charges,
I have habitual theft charges, drug possession, flee to elude, and fictitious information to a police officer.
My suspended sentence is 18 months, all in county jail under the state confinement act.
I would RATHER go to prison, honestly. More freedom.

Well, shit.
I guess I will be talking to you folks later.
I tried to do it, stay sober, and I failed.
I am institutionalized and programmed to fail it seems like.
 
I could possibly stay at a shelter, but I just can not stand them. They're worse than jail to me.
I most likely will go to a ward then turn myself in when it gets closer to my court date so I don't go to jail for long if they decide to just waive my fees or something.
 
w0w0mg said:
I could possibly stay at a shelter, but I just can not stand them. They're worse than jail to me.
I most likely will go to a ward then turn myself in when it gets closer to my court date so I don't go to jail for long if they decide to just waive my fees or something.
Click to expand...

You are stubborn as hell and you are CHOOSING to ignore all of these good people nice enough to care about you by avoiding the hospital. The devil has a grip on you so tight, it is frightening. Go to the hospital. You are not doing that so I cannot feel too sorry for you. You have to fight. You have given up and it's a tragedy.

And you mentioned something about you'd rather be in jail instead of the hospital? That's more evil talking. As many have already pointed out, you need medical care they will NOT provide for you in jail. So in other words you're telling everyone here you would rather die. That's sad.
 
w0w0mg - how are you doing? Where are you staying? I know Greenville is flooding right now and it's going to get worse by wed - the river will crest at 27ft. If you're not somewhere safe now, get there ASAP. I know you have said you will be homeless...if the hotel makes you leave and you have nowhere else to stay the area out by the community college shouldn't be totally under water and would be walking distance from the hotels on Greenville Blvd or Memorial Dr.

I lived there in 1999 when it flooded out (river crested at 29ft) and it was terrible. If you are going to come to Wilmington to stay with your family check to make sure there is an open route and leave immediately while there is a window of opportunity. I wouldn't completely trust maps with road outages - call the highway patrol and discuss your intended route before leaving to verify the roads and bridges are still accessible.

Please update this thread and let us know you're okay.
 
Moreaux said:
w0w0mg - how are you doing? Where are you staying? I know Greenville is flooding right now and it's going to get worse by wed - the river will crest at 27ft. If you're not somewhere safe now, get there ASAP. I know you have said you will be homeless...if the hotel makes you leave and you have nowhere else to stay the area out by the community college shouldn't be totally under water and would be walking distance from the hotels on Greenville Blvd or Memorial Dr.

I lived there in 1999 when it flooded out (river crested at 29ft) and it was terrible. If you are going to come to Wilmington to stay with your family check to make sure there is an open route and leave immediately while there is a window of opportunity. I wouldn't completely trust maps with road outages - call the highway patrol and discuss your intended route before leaving to verify the roads and bridges are still accessible.

Please update this thread and let us know you're okay.
Click to expand...

I bet the red cross or at least the county government will have a shelter set up in the city. I too hope your ok Wow
 
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