Mental Health I like being unhappy?

[Mr Crowley]

I'm going to see a doctor because I know I have a few loose screws but I really quite enjoy it even tho I can't get a job and hate my friends most of the time even tho they're very nice people and I know I do like them but they make me sick.
I think it's bpd but idk

has anyone experienced this?

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

I've recently changed my perspective but for the past 5 years I was also comfortable being unhappy. I always felt as though severe depression was just my personality and if I became happy it would compromise who I really was.

It made me feel like more of an individual but in reality it was just making me an outcast, letting it have its way for so long ended many relationships and allowed an addiction to opiates to grow. I'm still sorting myself out so I'm not in any position to give you advice but I can say it's not a healthy way to live and it's great that you are getting help.

 

[silverwheel]

I've experienced it, and it's really not a good thing to let fester over the years. After I (finally) found effective treatment, I realized that it wasn't that I liked it, it was that I had no idea there was any other way for me to be. It's something I can backslide into, but it's not a necessary part of my personality. In retrospect, so much of my time living in Chicago while I was in grad school was lost to this holding me back, musically, socially, and professionally.

Bpd could be it, but this is also common to Bipolar II. Bipolar II's have fewer, less intense manic episodes, but cycle more frequently and tend to reside more on the depressive end of the spectrum. And as Bipolar II's age, the "up" parts of the cycle feature less happiness and confidence and more agitation and anxiety.

Be patient with your treatment, and if it's working, you'll be able to act more in tune with your true feelings.

 

[malakaix]

I'm going to see a doctor because I know I have a few loose screws but I really quite enjoy it even tho I can't get a job and hate my friends most of the time even tho they're very nice people and I know I do like them but they make me sick.
I think it's bpd but idk

has anyone experienced this?

All the time.

There's a level of comfort involved with depression; it's almost like a friend that is always there, happiness appears to be largely a by-product of circumstance.. and seems fleeting in nature, yet depression appears to be ever-present. This is a trick of the mind, as the self is identifying with with that sensation of depression.. therefore it starts to become foundational to who you are, and there's comfort in knowing that..

For me personally, i enjoy the emotional depth of depression.. it's almost like an addiction; i know i can reach those intoxicating states through depressing music.. i can't always say the same when it comes to happiness, except in the case of love.

 

[spacejunk]

Yeah depression tends to be horribly self-reinforcing.
I wouldn't encourage to to attempt to self-diagnose, but some kind of cognitive behavioural therapy could be really beneficial i believe.