Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Time flows indiscriminately past with no anchor keeping me in the moment
Seconds into minutes into eternity
As I play the three notes that wrench my heart from its chest
A meditation on loss
I have never wanted to keep anything, memories least of all until I met you
I try to recall all that I have experienced
Feeling the tears even through the warmth of my smile at memories
Fixed points in time, that I have kept as cherished objects
And suddenly each second becomes a gem to horde from the clutches of my escapist mentality
I existed in those moments
Burning more brightly than I had ever dared dream
Together we were stronger than apart
And the love we grew felt different than any I had ever experienced
I had always believed that love could win over all
But love itself was not enough to overcome the gravity of our own destinies
The memory I will always think to is not the millions of smiles, or trials, or even the laughter
But of your face looking up at mine, eyes rimed red from sorrow
Saying, “There is so much still I wanted to share with you”
Voice catching at the end of those words
And I knew it for the moment that my heart finally broke
Under the weight of knowing loss
However,
It was in love that I let you go
To explore the unreachable that you believed would not be found with me in tow
And yet it is strange to feel that it is not over
Not the feeling of denial from the inevitable, but something more
When I first met you I knew you were for me
That you would know my laughter and the pain around the edges of my eyes
From shared history
That you would see my wrinkles as they appeared while time waged its war against body
And I would always know the comfort of your hand as it found mine
As if they could not bare to be apart.
And I still feel you will.
The journey as we have known it has come to an end so that we can become ready for the next great adventure
It is with tears in my eyes that I let you go
Not knowing if you will find your way back to me
But hoping none the less, that it be so
Seconds into minutes into eternity
As I play the three notes that wrench my heart from its chest
A meditation on loss
I have never wanted to keep anything, memories least of all until I met you
I try to recall all that I have experienced
Feeling the tears even through the warmth of my smile at memories
Fixed points in time, that I have kept as cherished objects
And suddenly each second becomes a gem to horde from the clutches of my escapist mentality
I existed in those moments
Burning more brightly than I had ever dared dream
Together we were stronger than apart
And the love we grew felt different than any I had ever experienced
I had always believed that love could win over all
But love itself was not enough to overcome the gravity of our own destinies
The memory I will always think to is not the millions of smiles, or trials, or even the laughter
But of your face looking up at mine, eyes rimed red from sorrow
Saying, “There is so much still I wanted to share with you”
Voice catching at the end of those words
And I knew it for the moment that my heart finally broke
Under the weight of knowing loss
However,
It was in love that I let you go
To explore the unreachable that you believed would not be found with me in tow
And yet it is strange to feel that it is not over
Not the feeling of denial from the inevitable, but something more
When I first met you I knew you were for me
That you would know my laughter and the pain around the edges of my eyes
From shared history
That you would see my wrinkles as they appeared while time waged its war against body
And I would always know the comfort of your hand as it found mine
As if they could not bare to be apart.
And I still feel you will.
The journey as we have known it has come to an end so that we can become ready for the next great adventure
It is with tears in my eyes that I let you go
Not knowing if you will find your way back to me
But hoping none the less, that it be so
miss you buddy!
