Pyro
Bluelighter
I am down
Walking downhill again.
happy as ever
Quiet as ever
I don't know if I believe in anything.
I thought about it some
and I don't think I have faith
in much, or anyone
I suck the life right out of me
I hurt myself
I tear myself down
I kill myself
I am the chemicals in my blood
I am the fear, the rage, and the shit
I am nothing compared, or in contrast
eating dirt until I vomit up everything inside of me
I don't want to be happy
I don't strive for a sociable existance
I want to be fulfilled
I want to be alive
I've understood hell, I've understood heaven
I've walked until I couldn't
then I sat until I couldn't
then I laid down until I couldn't
then fell asleep
Inside my dreams are nightmares
Inside of you I dream
Inside of my dream is emptiness
Inside of you I am asleep
So it has been at least
That is, with all of them up until now
All the beautiful women of my life
And it just makes me fall asleep
I give up.
I throw you and them all away
I 'don't give a fuck'
so to speak
or I seem that way
people can see through me
I am an open book
I have turned my back so many times
You can see it in my face
and hear it in my voice
pain, but not my own
their pain
His perfect kingdom
Of suffering
vain hopes
False idealism
Liars and hate
his creation
The perfect god
the imperfect creation
how can it be
unless he wanted us this way
Then God damn it all.
I'm tired of angst
I'm tired of damning things
I'm tired of people who play games
I'm tired of manipulation
I'm tired of lies
I'm tired of blindness
I'm tired of masturbation
I want to love all the beautiful women that I come across.
I want to make love to them
mentally, physically
Of course I use restraint
I am in control of myself
but that does not change my desire
and I want them to fuck me
to take me apart and find my secrets
to feel inside of me, to feel me inside of them
---
Pyro
------
post: I feel like I'm ... I just feel very down right now. I'm not sick, I am healthy. I think I feel unfulfilled, mostly. Perhaps some empty feelings (of course). I think I am having trouble again cause I don't live near any of my friends. I am truely alone where I am right now. I think that my friends are all growing apart from me... or I from them. I think one way or the other my life is becoming very solitary... and I love the social world.
I just want to fuck everyone...
Tim
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 27 December 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 27 December 2000).]
Walking downhill again.
happy as ever
Quiet as ever
I don't know if I believe in anything.
I thought about it some
and I don't think I have faith
in much, or anyone
I suck the life right out of me
I hurt myself
I tear myself down
I kill myself
I am the chemicals in my blood
I am the fear, the rage, and the shit
I am nothing compared, or in contrast
eating dirt until I vomit up everything inside of me
I don't want to be happy
I don't strive for a sociable existance
I want to be fulfilled
I want to be alive
I've understood hell, I've understood heaven
I've walked until I couldn't
then I sat until I couldn't
then I laid down until I couldn't
then fell asleep
Inside my dreams are nightmares
Inside of you I dream
Inside of my dream is emptiness
Inside of you I am asleep
So it has been at least
That is, with all of them up until now
All the beautiful women of my life
And it just makes me fall asleep
I give up.
I throw you and them all away
I 'don't give a fuck'
so to speak
or I seem that way
people can see through me
I am an open book
I have turned my back so many times
You can see it in my face
and hear it in my voice
pain, but not my own
their pain
His perfect kingdom
Of suffering
vain hopes
False idealism
Liars and hate
his creation
The perfect god
the imperfect creation
how can it be
unless he wanted us this way
Then God damn it all.
I'm tired of angst
I'm tired of damning things
I'm tired of people who play games
I'm tired of manipulation
I'm tired of lies
I'm tired of blindness
I'm tired of masturbation
I want to love all the beautiful women that I come across.
I want to make love to them
mentally, physically
Of course I use restraint
I am in control of myself
but that does not change my desire
and I want them to fuck me
to take me apart and find my secrets
to feel inside of me, to feel me inside of them
---
Pyro
------
post: I feel like I'm ... I just feel very down right now. I'm not sick, I am healthy. I think I feel unfulfilled, mostly. Perhaps some empty feelings (of course). I think I am having trouble again cause I don't live near any of my friends. I am truely alone where I am right now. I think that my friends are all growing apart from me... or I from them. I think one way or the other my life is becoming very solitary... and I love the social world.
I just want to fuck everyone...
Tim
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 27 December 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 27 December 2000).]