I just need to post Vs. wisdom, beauty, and baggage.. here hold this bag and ponder.

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Take it easy Mr Flowers I know how you feel. Just keep yourself busy for now and just go with the flow
 
nah i think trace will answer some questions that are very important to me at the moment but it needs to be a very deep trance where my mind is separated from my body
 
For some reason I have a thing about oceans, I just can't live near them incase of a crazy event. Oh jeeze that's one of like 4 fears I have.
 
Thanks Cohesion.. I suggest mantra meditation.. I am able to get to a place that not only rivals smoking but it is better because my mind is still clear so give it a try as a way to supplement the use and may provide a way for you to become an occasional smoker. Hang in there and get some exercise<3

You're right, you're right.

Mantra meditation is *the* liberating practice that has helped over the years. It isn't only something that I've tried once or twice, but taken advanced lessons in from a yogic nun. I attend meditation retreats (on and off for 9 years) and I keep the diet. It is a way of life. Unfortunately, pot can happen in-between and has also become a way of life. Clearly it is a life I do not want to identify with or engage anymore. Some people can use it occasionally or in a regulated way, but I cannot. If I have it and I'm awake, I'm high.

This evening I called my friend and asked if she could "help" out. She said she could, but she had to teach yoga class so time was tight. I ended up at the class and she ended up not being able to help. So here I am, on the Path..

She said she will help tomorrow but it seems that I should roll with this momentum.. I have ONE day!! It took a lot to get here. If I buy another 1/8, it will take me another 9 days (time it takes to smoke it) to even have the opportunity to try sobriety as I have now in my hand.

Food is completely uninteresting today. God I feel nauseous with my 1st world problem.

______

I have been through this night a few hundred times. I feel all weepy and emotions run thick. As I got into the shower I felt something heavy in my chest and I realized that this pain and raw I feel will actually coveted by my future self. Who wouldn't want this human experience? It seems that my strikingly sober nights are painful but have always wrought forth something more memorable, more alive, more human, than any of these 10 weeks of stony stunted bliss.

I found a new band on Spotify. They're called First Aid Kit. It's lyric-rich. I should manufacture something that looks like bedtime and perhaps melatonin will drop anchor.

______
*Passes off bag*
 
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Grey skies once again today.. I need to move back to a place were the sun shines almost all the time.

Grey+sky1.jpg
 
Ughh the grey skies are so depressing it's grey at my area as well, but it's such a nice warm day today. But the grey skies are making me a hermit.
 
I wanna lift the mood of ya'll so I'll say it is pretty sunny in Vancity today it's been the 4th straight day so no complains :)
 
I dont understand this site but hayho i told people i am partially sighted but do i get any help? No. Its TOO big. And no im not giving a donation im in £4000 debt n have a child so are most addicts. If you wanted paying you should have charged us.
This site is too big n complicated - i dont understand half of these pages.
Grrrrrr
Evey
 
I vote for a TDS vacation to Hawaii ;)

Yes, please! I am already sick of the cold though at present it is very sunny in the Pacific Northwest. I've never been to Hawaii and I want to so much.

And thank you for the free candy. That meme never gets old. :D Credit to whomever it was that designed this free candy van pinata, I loled so hard:

5258571127
 
Yes, please! I am already sick of the cold though at present it is very sunny in the Pacific Northwest. I've never been to Hawaii and I want to so much.

And thank you for the free candy. That meme never gets old. :D Credit to whomever it was that designed this free candy van pinata, I loled so hard:

5258571127

I'm sick of the cold already too! I don't even want to think about snow :(

And LOL at that piñata! I want :D

no.. my good camera Is mia.. have to find it cause I wanted to take a couple of pictures of the moon in the last few months... im in for the vacation.

Whenever the bright summer moon goes away I get so sad :\ it's so beautiful.
 
I dont understand this site but hayho i told people i am partially sighted but do i get any help? No. Its TOO big. And no im not giving a donation im in £4000 debt n have a child so are most addicts. If you wanted paying you should have charged us.
This site is too big n complicated - i dont understand half of these pages.
Grrrrrr
Evey

You will get used to the site, give it time and explore it slowly. It's a big loving community here!
 
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