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TDS I Just Need To Post vs Welcome To the Fluffy Side

thank you!! I'm super nervous for the interview because I don't know what to expect. fingers crossed I get it- i hate my current job and I want to actually use my degree.
 
Its fall time and time to whip up a huge batch of my spaghetti sauce. Ten gallons coming up.. of the store for supplies.

Edit: im the biggest air head sometimes.. I drove a distance to the market i like to shop at and got what I thought was everything for the sauce except the tomato sauce.. kinda hard to make spaghetti sauce with no fucking tomato sauce. :\
 
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They are already here =D

Solar plane could fly forever – theoretically

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Huge Solar Plane Could Fly For Five Years

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helios1.en.jpg


.

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This one made me laugh a little bit as it kinda reminded me of running out of gas in Nebraska.

I we can make things that can stay aloft indefinitely we may be getting close to the future

george-jetson.jpg
 
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I ate a box of Twinkies :\ at least I know it wont go straight to my hips, I guess I'm lucky in the sense of my metabolisms fast or whatever its called. But still wtf a whole box...
 
Sometimes you just have to eat the whole box. Its fall time and the old hibernation get ready for winter with stored calories is had to resist. :\


So picked up all the tmoatoe sauce, diced, crushed, pealed whole and I have 14 gallons (52 L) of sauce simmering away, smells dank. =D
 
The girl I'm seeing brought over some vegetables for me last weekend, including tomatoes and 4 different kinds of peppers. I made dinner for us, it was a pasta sauce with pasta. This sauce was SO GOOD, I was very impressed with myself. I hadn't made a tomato sauce in a while though I was making a lot of them a while back. I started with butter and onions, and after they caramelized slightly I added the tomatoes (the main bulk of the volume), carrots, celery, and the peppers... not sure which kind of they ranged from mild to quite spicy (just one of the really spicy ones, a deformed red pepper with a delicious flavor). I finished it with some cream (once it had simmered for an hour and a half and reduced to half the volume as is the way with tomato sauces) and topped it, once served, with grated asiago and romano cheeses. SO FUCKING GOOD. Nicely spicy but not too spicy, and absolutely bursting with flavor.
 
Sounds delicious Xork!! :D from what you have posted it seems like your new lady is great. im damn happy for you sir!!

This one I didn't pull any punches. I will soon be moving away from this area and I wanted to leave a really good batch of sauce for all the people I have addicted in the last couple years.

I individually browned the six meats and sausages which involved sauteing and deglazing with individually matched fresh herbs and spices.

I allowed the meats to stand before adding them to the sauce.

I infused the oil properly and with the right herbs spices and ingredients in the right orderand at the perfect temperature.

I used all organic vegetables except for the fungi.

I'm adding the herbs and spices in incrementally and painfully slow cooking the whole batch for six to eight hours. which is a pain cause im working with one of the glass topped stoves. But this batch was made for keeps.

LOL, people ask me to send them this sauce as christmas gifts.

I love cooking
 
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neversickanymore said:
Sounds delicious Xork!! :D from what you have posted it seems like your new lady is great. im damn happy for you sir!!

This one I didn't pull any punches. I will soon be moving away from this area and I wanted to leave a really good batch of sauce for all the people I have addicted in the last couple years.

I individually browned the six meats and sausages which involved sauteing and deglazing with individually matched fresh herbs and spices.

I allowed the meats to stand before adding them to the sauce.

I infused the oil properly and with the right herbs spices and ingredients in the right orderand at the perfect temperature.

I used all organic vegetables except for the fungi.

I'm adding the herbs and spices in incrementally and painfully slow cooking the whole batch for six to eight hours. which is a pain cause im working with one of the glass topped stoves. But this batch was made for keeps.

LOL, people ask me to send them this sauce as christmas gifts.

I love cooking
Click to expand...

Yeah I love cooking too, it's a fantastic hobby, and it feels so good to make food for people.

And yeah this girl is pretty great. Unfortunately she's leaving for 6 months in a week or less, I actually have been afraid to ask her exactly when. I'll be sad when she goes, but we'll keep in touch and she'll be back. And in the meantime, I'm going to remain open to new connections. :)

My ex called tonight... I hadn't spoken with her at all for about two months. She wanted to FaceTime with our cats. As soon as we switched to FaceTime and she saw my face, she burst out just bawling her eyes out. Choking, sobbing, she couldn't even speak for like 5 minutes. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing I don't know about, and that she misses the cats insanely badly. It was really hard to watch, I honestly just wanted to give her a hug. She told me it's a really hard time for her right now and she's really struggling. I had talked to her sister recently and she told me that Leslie (my ex) seems to be doing a lot better (if any of you recall, she basically had a nervous breakdown at the end of our relationship where she was displaying psychotic symptoms). But I am not sure she really is. I mean she talks fine now and her face is expressive again but she seems REALLY sad. It breaks my heart, I really want for her what I have, which is peace and happiness. She continued to cry or quaver the whole conversation. It probably didn't help that our girl cat was taking a nap and didn't seem to want to be bothered to wake up to say hi. Fortunately our boy cat was very into it and nuzzling the phone over and over so that gave her something. I think she's worried they're going to forget her... it's been 7 months since she saw them. She said "I'm still your mommy kitties"... it was so sad. :(

Then for the first time since she left she just wanted to see and talk to me for a little while. I didn't want to tell her too much about what's been going on with me because it's such a polar opposite. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I didn't want to make her feel bad. She told me she feels so helpless and sad and misses the cats so bad and she can't talk to anyone about it. I told her she can always talk to me, and she seemed grateful for that but gave a sort of little wry smile like it didn't help. Then she cried some more. And then I was going to be late for something so she said bye, and she said "I love all of you", and I said "we love you too". I mean I do love her, I am just not in love with her anymore (at all). I'm a little afraid she still is, or maybe she's just holding on to the last time she was happy. I don't know. I feel really bad though. And I feel kind of guilty for being so happy. I know I shouldn't but I do a little. I really wish for her what I have, and I hope she finds it. Here I am, seeing someone else, and she's sitting at her mom's despairing and sad. I sure hope she doesn't still love me because it will just crush her even more to find out there is no chance of that.

It's just weird... I mean within 2 weeks of her moving out I KNEW it was the right thing and I was 50% better even though I was still on opiates. And now, 7 months later, I'm totally healed, but she's still sobbing uncontrollably. :( I wish she could be happy too.
 
You have found so much strength and totally belive in yourself.. this makes me smile Xork. Its pretty amazing going from getting worked to landing in the drivers seat isn't it=D

I hope your X finds peace and happiness. This is a path I think is only visible to us individually and this is the reason we eventually find the answers we need from within.
 
Thank you. :)

I woke up this morning and my cat was acting weird... every single day he hounds me for breakfast and hangs out in the bathroom while I take a shower so he can lick the water off me. Today I found him hiding under the bed, not sleeping, and he won't purr when I pet him. I went to traffic court to get something dismissed, came back, and it's the same (I was hoping he was just taking a nap). In the past few years he has blocked 4 times (blocking is when a male cat's urethra which has a really narrow spot becomes blocked for various reasons, often dehydration and swelling, and they can't urinate... it will back up into their kidneys and is fatal in 24-48 hours). I thought I had it dealt with because he's on all prescription diet now. He was also on amitryptaline, which apparently has an anti-inflammatory action on the bladder. He's been on it for a couple of years and with the food and amitryptaline he hasn't blocked in a year and a half (the longest period by far since the first time). But this is pretty much how he acts when it's happening. The vet I go to changed staff including the actual veterinarian and the new vet thinks it's weird that he's on amitryptaline for his bladder, and wanted me to wean him off. I don't think it's a coincidence that a week after I got him totally off it, now this.

Fortunately he did pee a large amount a few minutes ago but he's walking around like his bladder hurts and he just went back to hide afterwards. And for him to not want to eat, something is WRONG. He's the hungriest cat ever. Something is totally not right and I'm so scared that's what it is. The soonest the vet can see him is 3:30 because they have a surgery scheduled.

I'm also a couple of months late on his re-vaccination for feline distemper... I was googling it and depression and painful guts are the first symptoms so now I'm scared about that too. But mostly I'm scared that between now and 3:30 (4 hours) he is going to actually block. If they catch it before he blocks then they give him urine acidifiers and stuff and a shot and he probably won't need to be hospitalized but if he blocks then it costs me about $700 and is a big deal. And I don't have $700 extra and I already owe my vet money STILL from the other 4 times and I don't think they will help me if I can't pay up front, they're not happy about me owing them money (the old vet did it for me but the new vet was kinda pissed to have inherited that. Even though when I declared bankruptcy I agreed to still pay them because I thought it was the right thing to do so I don't get why they have an attitude about it because by law I don't owe them anything anymore). So if that happens then I don't know... I can't let my baby die though. :(

It's scary how fast this stuff happens... yesterday he was running around, begging for food all day long, snuggling with me. Even in the middle of the night he was sweetly snuggling on my chest and asking for food when I got up to pee.

Fuck. Not this again... I love my cats SO MUCH, this is so intense. And for the next 4 hours I'm just going to worry myself to death.

And I am hanging out with my lady friend again this evening... I don't really care to be in a super anxious state. She's being really sweet though, I called to talk to her about it.
 
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