I just hurt someone that I love

[rexgrrl]

Fuelled by piss, bad manners and a mix
And the fact that Im scared
of the feedback,
For an instant;
I decided to run..
Away
I thought that it would better than
Facing the
"Somethingthatithoughtwouldhappenbutwhoknows'tillitdoes" type thing
But as it happens
I was mistaken
And if anything
I just hurt someone that I love
I hope he will forgive me. I hope I can forgive me. Didnt do anything really.
Just ran,
Away.
He's crying. He thought Id died. I just went away to get away. SPACE.
Wow, I didnt realise that it mattered so much
To someone
Anyone
That I lived or died.
Stupid Dumb
my "fuckedupheadthatdoesntstopputting outchallengestomyselftodaremetoliveontheedge"
I hate it!
But when I got back
I realised
That I love him, and finally
something else
I kinda also realised
Stupid Grrl!
"You're happy" for once in a billion!!!
and for an instant - Im in tune
I like this new thing; a revelation of sorts
its taken such a long, long time.
But hey,
I think I deserve it
And I hope it will stay.
X Love you Rudey X