I just don't know any more....

[britfag1]

Well where to begin...

Normally one would begin at the beginning but that would be a too long winded and would not really be what I wanted to discuss. So I will start from September of last year.

My partner and I are both long standing heroin addicts and had been waiting for our benefits payment to arrive in our bank account so we could score and get that bloody damped monkey off of our backs. Whilst waiting we had a visit from an acquaintance of ours whose birthday it just happened to be on that day. Now then, every time payday would come around we liked to get some quality powder cola to rock up and have a few pipes as a treat. We had been doing this for quite some time and we would never buy any more than the initial order.

So we got our powder and had a few pipes and treated the birthday boy to a couple too. Whilst all this was going on there was a knock at the door that we were not expecting and when I went to answer it it was a girl that I had never seen before. She told me that a friend of ours told her to meet him there and that she had some white on her so of course I invited her in. She invited my Mrs to go into our bedroom with her and she offered her a hit of coke in the needle. I didn't think anything of this as we were iv users of heroin anyway but as soon as my Mrs had taken it she was like WOW THAT'S FUCKIN AMAZING and right at that moment I just knew that there were problems on the horizon headed in our direction.

After this night my Mrs just went crazy for the coke all the bloody time and straight up I can honestly say that even at our lowest moments if heroin addiction none of that compared to the problems that this white shirt caused. The lies started and she even turned to bloody prostitution to feed her cravings for the white powder. Come January I had finally had enough and I told her that I was leaving as I just could not carry on living the life that we were. I was hoping that this would shock her into taking some kkind of action to sort the problem out but alas it did nothing of the sort.

I had needed somewhere to stay after leaving the marital home so I had headed for a very old friend of mine at the other end of the country and upon arrival explained the situation to him and said to him I had an inheritance payment in the pipeline and that if he could look after me in the interim u would make sure that he was paid back when this payment arrived. He is also a fellow user by the way... So anyway he looked after me and kept my habit going which brings us up to the present moment. I've so far condensed everything I have told you about so as to get on to what it is that is really bothering me.

My friend and I have always wanted to start our own windows cleaning business and Mr having the money to do this said that I would be more than happy to sort this all out.

So my inheritance payment arrived and we have had a good few weeks partying smoking loads if rock and so forth and I have bought us the necessary gear to start our window cleaning business but there are a few things that have been bothering me which is why I am writing this thread here.

Now I am a bit of a scatter brain at the best of times but I am by no means stupid. The first thing that lit up the light bulb above my head was when we were having a session the other day and I had all of our gear on my side of the table and him having smoked what was in front of him asks me "is that you finished sorting me out then?" And I thought to myself wff? And I said to him what do you mean mate and he asked me if I wasn't giving him any more stuff to smoke. I said to him no mate of course there's more for you I ain't gonna keep it all to myself am I? I'm not that sort of person and tbh I find it boring to take drugs alone and I definitely wouldn't sit in front of someone taking drugs as I think it would be very frustrating for them to see that.

The next day we scored a few rocks and I gave him one and had began to open mine when I needed to use the toilet. Now I know for a fact that I hadn't finished opening mine but when I came back from the toilet it had been fully opened and had been cut in two.

 

[britfag1]

It was a bit of a wtf moment as I was unsure as to if I had indeed finished opening it up and I mentioned this to him and he said that I had definitely do everything this myself. I decided to leave it at that and thought that I really must have made an error and really did open it myself. But now as time has gone on I've noticed more strange things happening that I'm not really liking. What is doing my head in is that there is no need for any of it as we have plenty of money so there is no need to hide anything from anyone.

For instance we will have finished all of our stash and it will be time for bed and he will retire to his room but will take the pipe with him and I will hear him smoking by himself in his room. Then he will come and ask me if I want some for myself and ask also if I want some H. Now this stuff is clearly what I have bought and paid for and I'm wondering why he keeps holding stuff back. It's like the minute my back his turned he will have to rob a bit extra for himself. For example, I'd just had a hit of white and felt like I could do with a bit of fresh air so I told him I was going downstairs and could he chuck me a lighter out the window so I could smoke. When I went down there were some people out there I didn't like so I came straight back upstairs and when I did he seemed very surprised and jumped and looked very guilty as he was at the table where all the shit was and it looked like he was in the act of nicking a bit of rock for himself. I asked him if that was what he was doing and he denied it and I went on to say to him that if he did want some then he should know that he can just take what he wants but he should say so just so that I know it's him that's taken it and I'm not thinking I'm going mad cause it's not what I remembered leaving.

And then tonight I was in the other room having a hit of H but was having a few problems so I left a bag of H on the floor and went off to find something that I needed. Upon my return I saw that the bag I'd left was gone. Now I fucking knew full well that I'd left it there but not wanting to seem like I was accusing went into the room he was in and started looking around. When he asked what I was looking for I told him about the bag not being where I'd left it and he told me that he'd picked it up. I didn't ask why or say anything else about it but really I'm wondering to myself why the fuck would he go and do this and especially do so without saying anything to me???

All of this is worrying me as we are starting this business together so I think it's pretty important that we are honest with each other. I also don't like the fact that anyone would do any of this as they are relying on the fact that you are out of your head so you would be questioning yourself as to whether or not you are right about what you are thinking!

Now due to the fact that I've gone through a lot of emtional turmoil I've had I've told him that in no uncertain terms that if he were to fuck me over that because he is my best mate and he is fully aware of the situation then I would not stand for it and I'd make him fucking pay for his mistake.

I need to drive now but I will continue. I would love to know what you think of this so far though. ...

 

[Smoky]

It seems to me he is concerned about not having enough. Does he usually wait for you to open the bags? It seems like there is a trust issue happening (which might be obvious). Do you feel like he would do something dishonest moving forward? Or compromise the window washing business?

If others were in the room I would always share. I also used alone though as I was dependent on the drug.

(I didn't read the 2nd comment, I will). Thus my question might change.

 

[kerriesberries]

Birds of a feather flock together. Period.

 

[pill_billy]

yea man... guess no matter where ya live addicts are gona be addicts... i just broke up w my ex last september cause she wanted to be a whore for money to keep us high (ofcourse she split everything w me 50/50 but still was just not havin it)

as for everything else... keep you shit in your pocket... and if you caught him snaging your shit multiple times, then you know theres more times that you didnt notice... he sounds like a descent guy for letting ya crash with him and everything but mabe you just need to have a talk with him and set up some rules, like if you guys are going to share drugs or whatever or if that counts as you paying rent then just break him off whatever when ya get it and tell him thats yours and this is mine, and if you suppling the shit doesnt count as your rent tell him to stop taking your shit... honestly its kind of your fault for letting him do it to ya but also kind of dick move on his part also... but at the end of the day if you dont give him the oppertuinty to steal from ya and you guys set up some guide lines on whos gona supply what and how its gona be divied up then it should clear up alot of things cause mabe he really doesnt realize hes doing anything to make ya mad... and you shouldnt feel any type of way about confronting him if you feel like hes doin ya wrong... also it would prob go along way in analyzing your situation if we know how old you and your buddy were but at the end of the day when you live w addicts these type of situations will arise... good luck man

 

[nygiants1313]

I would write more man but im im my way to work.

He is a classic junkie and this is what junkies do. You should have and if still possible take your inheritance go get your own place and get away from people who do drugs. You don't like to use alone so being by yourself may help you in stopping because nothing will change unless you make it.

Unless you change your life style this will be your life forever. No true friendship. No true relationship in general. Im only 25 but I lived it all, and see. It all.

Please please please go get your own place before you are out of money and your "friend" kicks you out because you have not much to offer. I know the whole busibess thing is tricky but the business won't last long with 2 drug addicts.

Im sorry I gotta get to work. I wish you the best

 

[herbavore]

He is a classic junkie and this is what junkies do. You should have and if still possible take your inheritance go get your own place and get away from people who do drugs. You don't like to use alone so being by yourself may help you in stopping because nothing will change unless you make it.

Unless you change your life style this will be your life forever. No true friendship. No true relationship in general.

^This. You have a chance to do something different right now because an inheritance doesn't come around twice. Do yourself a big favor and get yourself off H before you start your business. Find a partner that you can trust if you really need a partner, otherwise, do it on your own.

 

[britfag1]

Sorry I haven't read the thread past your post yet and I have to pause to comment on what you've said...

What a fucking arsehole! The contribution to the topic that your input has provided is a waste of fucking disk space and bandwidth as it is loaded in browsers across the Internet.

Your valuable insight into the social dynamics involved in drug use has really lug the path ahead of me and provided me with the tools I need to fathom out this whole dilemma....

 

[britfag1]

Just finished reading the thread and want to say thanks guys for taking the time to reply and help me out by providing some outside in views.

He's my best mate, and we are very close. Using this I just outright pulled him up on the subject and he gave me an explanation which I do happen to believe and part of that is because he gave me his explanation there and then and wasn't muttering or stuttering or seemed to be pressured or put on the spot by me springing it on him. He said that he just plain isn't used to having money like that and that he feels a big awkward that it's me providing everything and finds it hard to ask for a bit so would rather pinch a bit to save the embarrassment and that obviously he'd never disrespect me like that and went on to say he's glad that I brought it up cause he was very concerned that I might have been thinking I was being mugged off by him.

I must say I was at first leaning towards thinking that he was doing it to take a liberty. We've now sorted the situation and it's very much added to not only the enjoyment of the drugs but to general day to day life as well. I told him that he's to just take what he wants as and when he wants it as what he was doing before created an awkward situation. He was coming across as a bit sheepish in the first place constantly asking "is it okay if I take....." but I is said ffs mate you're doing my nut in keep asking lol just take it! And now it's all settled in and everything is sweet and the windows cleaning business sis going well and slowly building in size! He's not taking any more drugs than before so I know he ain't taking the piss.

It's good when you have a rare moment in life when you get proved wrong when trying to confirm someone is doing wrong against you. It doesn't happen often does it unfortunately? Especially in the often dodgy world of addiction