I just don't get it anymore WTF is going on

[xxsicknessxx]

Alright if you know my posts, you know I have had some issues in my life. I Have been to the crazy farm for times then I remember anymore and its taken a toll on me in lots of ways. I thought my roomies was preying on the fact that I have had a mental history and using information against me to torture me and play off my worst fears, recording me and playing it back to turn people aginst me including my family then getting more information from them and there help to do even more to me..... and I have thought a lot of things including some how something is going on with my room or the enviroment in my room to cause me to get shocked a lot... Sounds mental right? well ok... how weird is this..

Right now im fine, nothing.. no shocking... I turn the lights off, I turn the tv off, I plug my music in and stay in the same position I am now and I start feeling my body get.. jumpy... I start getting random ticks, or jerks in my arms, legs, feet, head... its not a good feeling kinda hurts.. not bad shock hurt but like .. super tense somethings wrong... anyway I turn lights back on the tv on turn music off and it goes away. At night when trying go bed it wakes me up I get shocked in my sleep sometimes so bad that I think im feeling pain in my nightmares I wake up and its this shocking sensation. I also had been having sleep paralyzation every night for weeks really bad so bad I would rip my self away and toss my self on the floor gasping for breath scared i was going to die not being able to move, and having trouble breathing. It fucks with how my heart and head feel... its freaky.

I have had psy breaks worse then this... I have thought worse, and seen worse, and felt worse before in some pretty bad psy breaks in the past. But what im feeling now is different, it feels real as in... normal real. Like some one is doing it to me. Im not sure if its something im being given or something in my room or a problem with the wires in the house, or some super crazy chance that keeps happening but something is doing this to me its not something I can fix with a pill.....

I just dunno whats going on anymore.. doctors can't seem to help... no one seems to have what I have, I talk to people who have had one symptom of mine, or had something similar but no one has all the symptoms I have no doctors know what it all can be.. no one knows...

Thats being said I want to test two theories and find out for sure one way or another

1. if im being drugged with something to cause these mini seizures and jerking moments that happen randomly.
(for that a blood test should answer the most common things it could be and I plan on doing this next month when see doctor)

2. If some how through chance, bad luck, or a evil roomie I am being shocked or a shock (mild) is setting off my body to jerk, and have seizures. If this is real and its really going on (again it could be a random wire in the wall and maybe its a 1 in a million chance) the question is can anyone think of a way to test this?

Something I can wear, or put in my room that should tell me if there was any (no matter how minor or small) of electric charges travailing through the air, bed, me, the floor... anything

Can anyone think of a way to test number 2.

I need to disprove this to my self for my mental health its important.

DONT TELL ME to get mental help (I see doctors and psy) im fine on that front. I just want to disprove the chance that maybe something crazy is going im not even saying its someone out to get me maybe its a crazy freak of nature under the house, or some kind of crazy problem with the wiring or something who knows

Just help me prove or disprove this please What would allow me to test the electricity in the air, or the floor, or the wall or the bed, or me? Like sudden spikes or whatever or mild currents... something that could prove it please or disprove it thanks any info be great

 

[pastelcircus]

See a neurologist. Also, what physical symptoms you may be experiencing are either in your head, or could be side effects from drugs (pharmaceutical or not).

Mostly though, you may be having a different kind of break from what you've had before.

Hang in there, dude.

 

[Lysdexic]

Speaking as an engineer, the likelihood of an electrical source that you are not coming in direct contact with (ie a bare wire you're touching) causing this is not something I've ever heard of. Your doctors need to be aware of your concerns and if you are self medicating at this time you might want to consider taking a drug holiday.

Stay close to those who care about you and keep them informed of what you're feeling.

 

[Cornishman]

Op, Are you taking mirtazapine? (remeron)

 

[RobotRipping]

the problem i see is your need to disprove these theories. They are highly unlikely and you know they sound like you're paranoid. Despite these things happening you're going to have to rely on the fact that your intuition is wrong and that whatever you're thinking is wrong as well. I know the feeling, it's so real, can't deny it, it's there, you see it and experience it, the only way for me to get better when i have these delusions is to realize they are delusions (if you can do this, you're not too bad yet) and then to outright ignore them no matter how real they seem.

The ticks however may be a side effect to a medication. I'd really just move if i were you, whatever the cost, it must be worth it for your mental health.

 

[IamAnotherYou]

im really sorry to hear what you going through right now. And yeah finding the root of the problem may be difficult. Who knows maybe its psychosomatic? maybe its medication. Could be anything. But i really doubt its the people around you actually physically finding ways to harm you. Could be on an energetic level if you believe in that stuff. Not too many people on this forum would see it from that point of view. I will offer you some advice that hasnt been or probably wont me mentioned here. You asked if there is anything you can wear or put in your room. I would look into organite. google it. Theres so much electromagnetic smog in our environments. Cellphones and wifi. Things like that. May sound silly to some but orgonite works. I wear a pendant. made a world of a difference. Thats all i will say for now. Just wanted to offer my opinion. i see your pain and feel for you. May you find peace in this hectic world