I just did meth again after giving it up for a year, and guess what?

[motiv311]

It sucks! High wasn't even that great, got instant back pain, pressure in my body.... and yes it was good stuff, just a shit drug.... Most drugs suck if you really think about it, you spend some time sober and you will see that

 

[w0w0mg]

haha thanks for this.
Everytime I relapse - I never even like going back to it sometimes - I get sick, but the cycle just starts all over again.
I'm actually glad you did not have a good experience.
Just don't pick back up!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm not surprised; methamphetamine is a low return type investment; only the first few experiences seem so glamorously amazing, and this is all the brain is mesmerized by and can remember.

What led you to use again?

 

[cj]

I have had similar experiences in the past with heroin relapses. Its just never as good as you remember.

 

[manboychef]

indeed....There was only one drug that blew me away again after many years and that was LSD.

 

[alovexsopure]

so i ended up relapsing last night...on coke. of all things.

yeah, it sucked. only did it cause it was there. its not even my DOC. i go for heroin. but anyways, just wanted to throw that in there.

ive been clean for 90 days [until last night] but yeah i know what you mean...when you relapse, sometimes it really just sucks. which can be a good thing. cause if it was really good, i would have def kept going with it and eventually made it become an everyday thing. :l

 

[motiv311]

I relapsed because I am a singer songwriter artist, and I have been stressing trying to finish up a few songs in time for the deadline set up by our manager for our EP release..... I have bad ADD, and struggle to focus, sitting there on the computer patiently for hours upon hours, in the past --- meth was always the best drug for songwriting and mixing (in my opinion) .... But the work I did get done was NOT worth it! the universe has been sending me messages , that I will not see the success of my music career flourish until my mates and I are 100 percent sober.... this is after 15 years of all sorts of poly drug abuse... im 29 now

its gonna be a bitch, but I quit amphetamines back in may, and have only got a bag of meth twice since then, and its crazy how my life has improved since I gave up meth .... now I just gotta kick my methadone 60 mg a day

 

[CfZrx]

I kept wanting to inject an opiate until the day when if I thought about the drug, my first and only thought was the depressed, sickly days to follow. Now I can't believe I didn't realize before. Lol, yeah meth'll really be wack for a guy who's been clean.

 

[JM357]

I'm prescribed amphetamines for ADHD and I really dislike taking them- yet even for me the first couple of times, while not mind blowing (my psychopharm claims people like me don't react quite the same way- ADHD I think is highly overdiagnosed but I either REALLY have it or some docs have said I have something on the autsim spectrum of disorder) life did feel pretty good and I felt hopeful. Even after taking breaks- quite frequent due to anxiety/brain chem of trying to recover from opioid and recent short term benzo (less than a month and just going off them- binged for like a couple weeks (can't even really remember) and tapered) and when I have been not anxious prior to taking them they make me anxious and shitty feeling.

Do I get a ton more done and actually be able to focus? Yes, I can't deny that. Maybe once my MMT is started and up to a good dose I could tolerate them (yesterday took one and cleaned a bunch, studied, made appointments, remembered things, etc. but still felt like crap) as I was able to tolerate (as in not feel really bad) them before on MMT. But I agree it is never like that first time.

For me unfortunately if I get a GOOD bag of dope after a while it is pretty intense, euphoric, gives a great rush (part of why I think I do need MMT- also chronic pain problems and six months of clean urines lead to the docs saying they will really be able to treat my spine seriously, but blah blah I've been on about this). Never like the first GOOD hit I got- I actually missed my very first one and it was sort of small, then again had another shitty $10 bag- but that first serious hit was insane. But unfortunately I will admit I really do like it whenever I go back. I just want to stay clean other than meds RXed by docs I've been completely honest with and taken exactly as prescribed now. The bad just still WAY outweighs the good, a real rock bottom like I have hit really teaches that. Now I do sometimes wonder what would happen to me if I like hit the powerball, but there are plenty of examples of rich famous people out there who were still in a shitty state even though they had all they wanted, were sometimes protected to some degree legally, etc. I have also thought "what if they truly made HAT available even in the US?" but it would still mean having to interupt your day four times at least, etc. I do think Methadone has downsides (maybe a 24hour morphine release like has been experimented with would be better- at least for people with certain heart conditions) but it does have positives as well.

 

[motiv311]

the thing is , for years i consumed large amounts of adderall (which has always been prescribed) and meth, and always loved it ; dealing with the negatives was always not SO bad in the past..... then i moved to another state for college, and gave up illicut meth for about five years, and then silk road came out and i got hooked heavily on the meth train... then found a hook up and even more so, for about 2 1/2 years I was involved heavily with it... and towards the end of that time period it got pretty horendus as i started to realize the true scope of its evil nature..... it lies to you , it tricks you , and then it STICKs you with the bill!

Thats why i gave it up last may, to much improved situation for myself, i got a couple bags since then, which after so much sober time would have been AMAZING in the past, but since these stunning realizations about meth, my body mind and soul just won't allow me to use it with out much moral dilemma ..

its a good drug if you want to beat yourself off or write an essay, or stare at the cieling

 

[What was it?]

It sucks! High wasn't even that great, got instant back pain, pressure in my body.... and yes it was good stuff, just a shit drug.... Most drugs suck if you really think about it, you spend some time sober and you will see that

I'm one of the few bizarre people who never liked meth and don't know what the hype is about. I've had some strong shit, but just don't like it. Much prefer dextroamphetamine in smallish doses to remain functional but still enjoy my day.

My brother on the other hand is the reverse and is a raging meth head. He couldn't care less about dexies.

 

[Zapgunn]

I relapsed on meth recently, also after about a year of being clean. Unfortunately I had a different experience, and my first shot blew me away. I felt so good and euphoric that I decided to stay up for several days. the first 36 hours were pretty great. Made some music, cleaned my room, hooked up with someone i found online (meth sex is the best obviously) but by the end of day 2 I’m hardly even getting euphoric rushes anymore, so i keep doing more and more compulsively. the smooth, sexy meth feel is gone, replaced by an over amped paranoid feeling. Day three the shadow people start showing up and I’m peaking out the window and laying in my bed terrified that someone is going to kick in my door at any moment… so of course i decide the only option at this point is to do more. Day 4 the psychosis continues now I’m starting to hallucinate and i think someone is under my house (there is no way to get under my house) and start yelling at this person. I can then hear this imaginary person calling the cops on me so i run away and go hide out in a park, sure that I’m going to jail until i come down enough to remember that I’m tweaking the fuck out and none of this is real. Yay Meth!

then of course I feel absolutely useless and miserable for about a week and a half after. I used to be able to bounce back quick from meth binges, not anymore.

Thats usually how it goes for me. if i could just take one shot and leave it at that, meth would be great, but I never can. Some drugs, even addictive ones, can bring you some good experiences every now and then. the fucked up thing about ice is that it’s bad every time.

Since then i’ve been going to meetings and trying to re commit myself to staying clear of that awful drug.

 

[What was it?]

I relapsed on meth recently, also after about a year of being clean. Unfortunately I had a different experience, and my first shot blew me away. I felt so good and euphoric that I decided to stay up for several days. the first 36 hours were pretty great. Made some music, cleaned my room, hooked up with someone i found online (meth sex is the best obviously) but by the end of day 2 I’m hardly even getting euphoric rushes anymore, so i keep doing more and more compulsively. the smooth, sexy meth feel is gone, replaced by an over amped paranoid feeling. Day three the shadow people start showing up and I’m peaking out the window and laying in my bed terrified that someone is going to kick in my door at any moment… so of course i decide the only option at this point is to do more. Day 4 the psychosis continues now I’m starting to hallucinate and i think someone is under my house (there is no way to get under my house) and start yelling at this person. I can then hear this imaginary person calling the cops on me so i run away and go hide out in a park, sure that I’m going to jail until i come down enough to remember that I’m tweaking the fuck out and none of this is real. Yay Meth!

then of course I feel absolutely useless and miserable for about a week and a half after. I used to be able to bounce back quick from meth binges, not anymore.

Thats usually how it goes for me. if i could just take one shot and leave it at that, meth would be great, but I never can. Some drugs, even addictive ones, can bring you some good experiences every now and then. the fucked up thing about ice is that it’s bad every time.

Since then i’ve been going to meetings and trying to re commit myself to staying clear of that awful drug.

The devils drugs: Opiates, Cocaine, Methamphetamine and Benzos. Pure evil! You can stay off it man - we all can with some perseverance.

 

[JustMethinAround]

I recently relapsed myself. I only smoked in a few times before someone gave me and my man new points..... Downhill from there. I hate it. It sucks. I don't know what I used to love about it so much but it's different now. I truly want to quit but always come up with excuses for why I need it/ can't quit.


I will quit

 

[Dop3l3ssHopefiend]

I'm not at all proud of myself, but meth helps with opiate withdrawal and I relapsed from 15yrs clean, the kick from fentanyl was way beyond what I could handle. I am planning to use for 6-7 days and then stop once opiates are out of my system.
Meth is some nasty crap, my advice would be to stop asap.

 

[manboychef]

isn't it amazing that our addicted minds still play tricks on us even after a long time free from active use. It was something that always led to me to do morphine or dope again...and each time I was underwhelmed. I would just keep doing more like zappgun, hoping against the odds that a bigger shot would be better...even though it never was.

Something that works is writing out a list of the negative consequences of use, and reflecting on it a few moments a day. Everytime you think of something you have lost, or something that has hurt you...add it to the list. Eventually the negative list will be so much bigger than the positive list. My negative list is nearly a page long in my journal, but the positive list really has next to nothing in it. Even though my negative list is so long it doesn't stop my mind from dwelling on the few positive things until I look at the negative list and reflect on it.