i just wanted to say sorry for calling you. I did just wanted to see if u were ok...u sounded very surprised to hear my voice. That kindof hurt. Your voice sounded good, as if it doesn't bother u at all and honestly I didn't think it would bother me that much either, that I just thought it was time. But for some reason I just can't fight the tears. I woke up this morning feeling ok. I guess it was the pictures i open this morning, in the mail from Bean, that got to me. Finally, I got pictures of us and I guess its to late. Funny how that works, huh. They look nice.
I guess this will get easier as time goes by, but I can't help to already miss the best part of my daily routine. U know the part I am talkin bout, the one that u tend to just expect to be there, the one that u take a little more than u need too, the part that u take atvantage of with out realizing, the part that u look forward to the most, the part u love the most.
I don't know what to say, for the first time ever I am not able to express myself to u, to paper or throught thoughts.
Just don't ask me how i am coz i might just have to tell u the truth. I guess it's me that has the problem now. I want ur ability to block my thoughts, I want the knowledge on how to forget ur name for a while. I want the voids of 10,000 minutes to already be filled. I want it to be months from now where I can just look back and smile at everything and see the beauty that came from all of this.
I know I am goin to go home tonight and talk to Shana and have her look at me as I told u this would happen. She has relayed her visions to me and I guess I have just been side tracked on a different version of us that she sees. I guess I was just consumed by a different meaning. A meaning that I have learned doesn't always win in the end. Or maybe it's just me that doesn't win in the end.
Either way, I just called to see if u were ok.
I guess this will get easier as time goes by, but I can't help to already miss the best part of my daily routine. U know the part I am talkin bout, the one that u tend to just expect to be there, the one that u take a little more than u need too, the part that u take atvantage of with out realizing, the part that u look forward to the most, the part u love the most.
I don't know what to say, for the first time ever I am not able to express myself to u, to paper or throught thoughts.
Just don't ask me how i am coz i might just have to tell u the truth. I guess it's me that has the problem now. I want ur ability to block my thoughts, I want the knowledge on how to forget ur name for a while. I want the voids of 10,000 minutes to already be filled. I want it to be months from now where I can just look back and smile at everything and see the beauty that came from all of this.
I know I am goin to go home tonight and talk to Shana and have her look at me as I told u this would happen. She has relayed her visions to me and I guess I have just been side tracked on a different version of us that she sees. I guess I was just consumed by a different meaning. A meaning that I have learned doesn't always win in the end. Or maybe it's just me that doesn't win in the end.
Either way, I just called to see if u were ok.
good luck with moving on and dealing with the road ahead.
