I have the incredible urge to use ANY drug.

[Lunchboxor]

Ok. So ive never had an addiction with withdrawals besdies ciggs. I quit smoking two years ago for my ecig(provari). Never had any problems with that. But I have this incredibal urge to use. Ive tried most classic drugs out there.

I had a surgery on my wrist a year and a half ago. Went thru 200 mg of oxy in three or four days. Had very light withdrawals. Pain in joints that werent supposed to hurt. I always have rls, so those two were my only symptoms.

Used oxy a few times since. It seems it takes me about 30mg to feel a nice high now.

Abused kpin for a month. Came out of it no side effects besides the fact I dont remember july-august last year. Apperantly I worked so much I broke 60 hrs/week for six weeks straight, and got my company in alot of trouble. Still dont remember it o.o; (around 3-6 mg a day)

Abused xanax for two weeks in about jan. 2-4 mg a day.

The thing that scares me, is that even when im high, I want to be higher. So sometime in those two benzo binges I started taking perc tens. That made me feel great at the time, but I quickly realized it needed to stop SOON each time. So I did. Still no WDs.

I believe I oded around three weeks ago. I took 3mg er xanax, and 25 mg of oxy. I drove to my girlfriends house sober, got there and passed out in fifteen minutes pale white looking terrible. I woke up at 6am (I normally sleep 12-14 hours, that night six) feeling like I couldnt breathe.(Have asthema) I used my albuterol, realized I have the worst headache ever. Went home, slept another 10 hours. Woke up feeling worse then I ever have in my life. Felt lilke death the next day and a half. Havent touched anything since, besides weed.

No wds from that, but, I feel like im starting to dig a hole.. I know I have an addictive personality. My mothers father has been an alcohlic for 60 years, my dads mom is also an alcoholic.

I actually dont preffer xanax/opiates. I prefer lsd/mdma and K, But I keep getting this urge to use them. Ive never binged on mdXX/lsd/k How do I keep this under control better? I goto college, I work part time, and play video games all day. Doing as good as I can in school, im just worried for myself.

 

[rhun]

I think this thread would be best moved to the Dark Side, there's a lot of people who can offer you support there.
OD is more for specific drug questions.

You need to look at WHY you use.. are you self medicating? I used opiates because I was self medicating an endorphin deficiency.. though for several years I thought I was just depressed. As a young teen though I used meth.. which I don't think was to make me feel better but instead I used it for the same reason I burned or cut myself.. At that period of my life I just wanted to hurt myself.

I strongly suggest that you look at seeing a counselor, they may be able to offer you some insight and give you another perspective, it's easy to get so immersed in your own problems that it's very difficult to step back and look at what's going on.

 

[madskilz]

you are restless irritable and discontent my friend
you need treatment for your spiritual malady and you dont need to crash and ruin your life before you get it,cheers

p.s.I have a provari too

 

[weekend addiction]

I'm in the same boat dude. I'm craving a drug and I don't even know what it is. Anything from coke, to opiates, to synthetic cannabinoids. Even psychadellics or nitrous or whatever! Just something different. This kind of craving comes from a combination of boredom, stress, and loneliness (new to this city). But I know from experience that blowing a few lines of coke isn't going to address the underlying issues.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Od---->tds

 

[RobotRipping]

i feel that same urge every day; i know from experience that stims/benzos/opiates will never satisfy the urge long term and after enough bullshit going through the cycle believing they would, you start to accept that the urge to get high on these drugs in particular is not worth it. I guess that's the only thing that helps, nevertheless i still fiend for opiates, even knowing full well that i'll destroy my life again and again if i keep using them.

the good thing about psychs at least is that you can't keep abusing them as they lose their effect too quickly to run you into any problems, things like k/mdma/mda/any stim or dissociative, there isn't that safety net. It'll lead you down the same road an opiate or benzo addiction will with the same results or similar anyway.

I think many of us feel this deep inner pain that only a drug or some insane experience will alleviate. I'm not sure how to fix it, i've tried everything and am just at the point where i'm going to just label this deep pain of being human as some sort of mental health disorder and continue on with my life.

Truly the only things that helped me with this issue in particular were therapy, rebuilding my life, having hobbies/passions to pursue and an interest in learning new things. Of course i also have the issue where i have 0 desire to do any of that and i guess that's my mental disorder but i definitely understand that urge to get high off absolutely any thing, even when i see duster at the store, it kind of triggers me, although i've never done it and never would.