Random I have no life

[LucidSDreamr]

I’ve always tied my whole life to like three things. One hobby I have, career, and drugs.

I lost/quit them all a few months ago and all I do is watch tv and doomscroll all day. You can probably tell by how active I’ve been on BL lately.

I realize it’s bad now to be so narrow in your interests and hobbies. I try to think of other things to do but I am paralyzed with laziness and procrastination. I have no even been for a walk in months

Even if I could still do my one hobby…I kind of gave it up before I was forced to because of the lack of motivation.

Creative pursuits are another thing, people always talk about how much meaning they bring. I don’t have one for like 15 years now after I quit playing an instrument.

How do I find something to do that engages me and how do I get the motivation to do it?

 

[kiely]

I'm feeling really bad right now too. And I am going through stress and I already feel bad.

I am going to

try to write down several things for us. There has to be maybe one thing that you can do. And then two. And three.

And then I have memory problems because I am slow. Now really slow.

Okay I will stop complaining a second. Did you say you drank coffee. Maybe in the morning to help.

Are you able to exercise ? Somehow and move around then. I am just so slow.

Maybe writing ideas and support posting to keep busy and alert and on top of things.

And maybe finding something to focus on to get us moving. And motivating.

I want to think of something to say. But lemon juice and coffee for starters and stuff like that.

What do you do to get your heart moving ? Do you go outside ? Best of luck to you. I am doing alright. I'm barely feelin it anymore. But you know a fckn bad spell again.

Or just grateful it is not worse mostly. But tomorrow it's going to be bad though.

Sorry, are you going to be alright ? So far !!? You're so sweet. Please be okay.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I'm feeling really bad right now too. And I am going through stress and I already feel bad.

I am going to

try to write down several things for us. There has to be maybe one thing that you can do. And then two. And three.

And then I have memory problems because I am slow. Now really slow.

Okay I will stop complaining a second. Did you say you drank coffee. Maybe in the morning to help.

Are you able to exercise ? Somehow and move around then. I am just so slow.

Maybe writing ideas and support posting to keep busy and alert and on top of things.

And maybe finding something to focus on to get us moving. And motivating.

I want to think of something to say. But lemon juice and coffee for starters and stuff like that.

What do you do to get your heart moving ? Do you go outside ? Best of luck to you. I am doing alright. I'm barely feelin it anymore. But you know a fckn bad spell again.

Or just grateful it is not worse mostly. But tomorrow it's going to be bad though.

Sorry, are you going to be alright ? So far !!? You're so sweet. Please be okay.

Thanks for your motivation and kind words.

I haven’t exercised in two months. I have been having a medical issue and excercise was flaring my pain so I just swore off all exercise for a long period.

I haven’t been outside…that I could be doing but haven’t due to the extreme laziness and lack of motivation.

I was in extreme pain for a while and just gave up going out to meet friends, reading, or anything that isn’t laying in front of tv, and doing anything and the pain has receded but I never started doing stuff again.

I’ve been watching tv like 18 hours a day for a month.

Thanks for offering to try and think of things for us both- we could try and be accountable to eachother as having done something/anything even if just for ten minutes a day. I don’t have a lot of hope as I’ve tried this with my recovery friends and therapist already and I ended up not doing anything. But they weren’t struggling with the same problem - maybe seeing someone else who is like you help themselves will give me motivation

 

[pnillyg]

I’m with you

 

[Robi]

I live in gratitude,my life was messed up bad for a spell.So now I always remember how damn good I have it.Finally feeling age at 57 , for hobbies and super fun times are at a standstill,so my advice would be shit but bottom line ,I work so fucking hard,brutal even to just barely get by,so laying down and resting is like god.Wish you could get back into your instrument if that gave you joy,but this grateful way has been the best way for me to survive any depression or boredom.

 

[kiely]

Thanks for your motivation and kind words.

.......

I’ve been watching tv like 18 hours a day for a month.

Sometimes going outside really helps. That's what I had to do today. Fortunately it was nice out.


I'm trying to think too. Let me know if you can. Appreciated so much.

k

 

[kiely]

Thanks for offering to try and think of things for us both- we could try and be accountable to eachother as having done something/anything even if just for ten minutes a day. I don’t have a lot of hope as I’ve tried this with my recovery friends and therapist already and I ended up not doing anything. But they weren’t struggling with the same problem - maybe seeing someone else who is like you help themselves will give me motivation

I know. But you seem really young. Maybe it is just growing pains and we will gradually find an adjustment or a balance.

Or just maybe we need some rest and will heal.

Tomorrow's Friday. I guess we will have to see and Friday it. Another favorite f word. Ttyl. Thank you for your post. Again.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Or just maybe we need some rest and will heal.

This is definitely something I’ve been telling myself. Some health issues and being off drugs - I’m definitely in a healing phase and it feels wrong to sit still I guess, since I’ve been going so fast my whole life.

Im early 40s so I’m not that young.

 

[kiely]

I had thought of something but then I forgot. This is how bad it is. True store.

But I do think it's too much benzo's with me. So I try to take a few days off
or as long as I can ... and then I see how much worse it actually can be.

Sort of speak.

~~~~~

But I am trying to figure out other ways. Maybe just find something to do that you have to focus on for a while to forget everything else. Like talk with some LDS guys. They will blow your mind away.

~~~~

Just an idea.

~~~~

I would say pray. ... But if I repeat what I should get up and do. Or you know keep telling myself enough maybe I will get up and do something.
( I have been doing this for little things lately.) But I do major things too.

We went to the dog park one day. Wow. Do they ever have it spiffied up after covid days. There's a purple tent and everything. I don't know how it's going to last
in the wind. Everything is knocked over.

Have a nice day. I try to. And it's cold.

 

[kiely]

One Day, It Will Make Sense.

There are moments in life when nothing seems fair.
When the people you love leave too soon.
When the dreams you chase slip through your fingers.
When the road ahead looks too long, too uncertain, too
impossible.

And in those moments it's easy to believe
but life is nothing but a series of losses.
A collection of almost and what ifs.

But what if every wrong turn
was just leading you to the right place ?
What if every closed door
was protecting you from something not meant for you ?
What if, one day you look back
and realize that every struggle, heartbreak,
every tear you shed had a purpose ?

Maybe not today.
Maybe not tomorrow.
But one day when the weight has lifted,
When the pain has faded to a memory,
You'll understand why it had to happen that way.

Hold on for that day. From the past life.

 

[kiely]

I have to get up and do something now. Oh joy. But since I am up I am going
to make some chocolate cup cakes with frosting. Or pancakes.
Bye.

 

[yubacity]

Try going out once a month even just to get out of you routine. Maybe find a woman or man whatever ur interest is a new relationship has a way of making life better

 

[Shinji Ikari]

I can relate to the doom scrolling and the not being bothered to do anything. This is my default setting unless I'm on elvanse and most things including my hobbies feel like they require too much mental engagement to be worth bothering with. I love video games for example but I barely play them because they require my undivided attention for an extended period of time and that's no bueno.

For a lot of people feeling like this can be explained by depression or ADHD and medicated accordingly and that works for some people and not for others.

If it's impossible to motivating into doing something or your own accord then making it some kind of obligation might help. Volunteering somewhere maybe or something else to give you a place you're suppose to be at a certain time.

Most of my social life has always come from work and if it was for various obligations forcing me out of the house I'd probably live out the rest of my days on this beanbag.

You could learn to crochet. Seems quite easy takes up a lot of time and you get (almost) free knitwear out of it.

 

[kiely]

He is respectably married to his wife.

He has no life except what he is going through.

But he is in a married relationship with someone with whom he would leave too soon.

He needs to be lifted up again for all of our sake. And is trying.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I tried watching a begginer guilde to drawing yesterday and drawing a little.

I also took opiates again. So much of this is probably wrapped up in chronic pain- or even when I’m not in pain there might be some sort of PTSD from having lived in so much physical pain my entire adult life (25 years of pain). I have no idea how to deal with that and my therapist seems useless.

 

[nznity]

I tried watching a begginer guilde to drawing yesterday and drawing a little.

I also took opiates again. So much of this is probably wrapped up in chronic pain- or even when I’m not in pain there might be some sort of PTSD from having lived in so much physical pain my entire adult life (25 years of pain). I have no idea how to deal with that and my therapist seems useless.

Brother I feel ya. Without opiates I'd KMS, so many ailments I suffer from. I'm gonna need morphine, benzos and ketamine for the rest of my life.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Brother I feel ya. Without opiates I'd KMS, so many ailments I suffer from. I'm gonna need morphine, benzos and ketamine for the rest of my life.

I don’t see you posting as much as you used to…I hope you’re ok.

Man ketamine caused one of my chronic pain issues (bladder damage)….id be really careful with that one.

I was abusing it because I had a herniated disc in my back and hated life from that pain and just ended up adding bladder damage to my body to right as my back was finally healing from surgery.

In retrospect the ketamine wasn’t helping with my pain at all I was just wanting to escape.


But back to the main topic…I think so much of the anxiety for me comes from the fact that these drugs are so heavily restricted in the US and their total outright ban is not an unlikely possibility. The constant fear of your whole life falling apart when these drugs are withheld makes me go without them trying to stay clean and suffer through so much uneccesary pain.

The mind fuck of debating with yourself about what drugs to take and how much suffering to endure and the side effects of taking those drugs - it’s really it’s own hell that is at least not as bad as experiencing the pain unmedicated. But if it wasn’t so highly stigmatized navigating the stresses of taking narcotics would be easier because you could be more open about it with doctors and family/friends. My pain and narcotic consumption has cost me my relationship with my parents and my childhood best friends…like I make way more than all of them; don’t despise other people and I have compassion, never exploited them from my addiction, never stole once or borrowed money, yet I’m am still lower and filth not to be associated with because I don’t hide my issues like the world wants me to

 

[lolis my thesis]

So long I can stand up I try and skateboard. Feeling like a baby gazelle; if I can go for 20 seconds its a win. This is after surfing for 20 years and post injury.
I lost my leg strength and if you have that and a bit of balance left; I recommend that.
Or fishing, or ebiking
Maybe youve been there done that. What about swimming

 

[lolis my thesis]

my whole drug taking saga revolves around worry about getting more more than pain from my condition

 

[tryptakid]

I’ve always tied my whole life to like three things. One hobby I have, career, and drugs.

I lost/quit them all a few months ago and all I do is watch tv and doomscroll all day. You can probably tell by how active I’ve been on BL lately.

I realize it’s bad now to be so narrow in your interests and hobbies. I try to think of other things to do but I am paralyzed with laziness and procrastination. I have no even been for a walk in months

Even if I could still do my one hobby…I kind of gave it up before I was forced to because of the lack of motivation.

Creative pursuits are another thing, people always talk about how much meaning they bring. I don’t have one for like 15 years now after I quit playing an instrument.

How do I find something to do that engages me and how do I get the motivation to do it?

I found biking ti be a good thing to get into.
THere's a community, there's exercise, it's fucking awesome to mix with drugs, and it is social.

plus, it's you time - twher eyou compete with yourself day after day/week after week.

Start there with just one thing....you'll see what starts to come back or grow anew from that one thing.