I have done it again...this time is the worst

[MindTricks]

i used to be very addictive to mkat and gamble lots of money online while i was on it, this lasted about 2 years. There was just something about mkat high because it similar to meth that makes me lose my mind while gambling. However i have stopped taking it and gambling for about 2 years now.

2 days ago i went partying and ended up taking some speed... i haven't touched that shit in a long time because i OD'd on it pretty badly once and was in fear for my life like never before. When i got home this sunday after party i was still high and couldn't sleep so i decided to throw £20 on some random online casino slots, i ended up winning jackpot of £800, because i was still extremely high i decided to bank £500 and carry on upping up stakes with the rest, before i knew it i ended up gambling all winnings plus £1500 of my own money. Now i am -800 overdraft and i am losing my job in few months. My life is a total waste at the moment, every time i take drugs they ruin me... it don't matter what type of drugs it is after i take them nothing matters to me, my friends or family i dont care about anything and anyone...even my self, i just smoke weed everyday and do nothing about my life. I am going to try my hardest quit all drugs even weed for good.... it wont be easy i know because i am so use to this life style but i am going to make sacrifices and fight through it.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and i am going to have to face it and tell my parents everything

 

[ComfortablyNumb95]

man if you can't absolutely control your use you need to stop ASAP.
there are many ways to feel good without drugs and are way more satisfying. (sure you'll never feel as good as with drugs but as you sure know they can ruin you badly)

go to rehab maybe? I don't know, it's up to you really.

 

[Bob Loblaw]

This would be more suitable for your Blog, since you're not asking a question. But I feel like it's implied & I hope TDS staff doesn't mind me moving this. I'm sure you'll get some support there .

 

[herbavore]

OP, you haven't ruined your life but you surely did give yourself an expensive wake up call. To put it in perspective though, you still have your life, so right now you are in a very good place though it doesn't feel that way. You are free to dig deeper as to why, when you "know" what may happen, you still feel the need to use. You don't want to blame or feel guilty--that just gets you stuck--but really take the opportunity to try to learn what is at the root of this for you? Are you bored? Are you unhappy with your life? Feel trapped? First identify what is wrong and then you can go over all the possible strategies to try to change it up in a positive way. Don't let your parents reaction get you down-- they probably have to react before they can be supportive but let them know you are already beating yourself up so no help needed on that front.

 

[devintheduder]

mannn all i can say is good luck!