I have bad anxiety disorder and my boyfriend thinks scaring me is funny, or a

lalapanda

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
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Location
Portlandia
"Way to make me stronger"
I Don't think this is cute, or, funny or justifiable at all. He's not my fucking therapist, he's like oh from what I read about it herpderp.
No, fuck that.

I'm sick of him acting like its just something I can get over.
I'm really depressed about life in general. My life has turned into a fiery pile of shit.

Literally as I'm typing this he's saying
"Your anxiety is all about self control"

Can someone please like internet smack him?
 
theres a rant thread somewhere in TDS

if he is annoying you so much that it is dragging you down, u could tell him yourself to stop messing with you or you will break up
 
I'm sorry to say but nobody w anxiety should have non-supportive significant
others.he needs to understand and b on your side while u're doing the best u can.

if couples therapy,meds ,talking about it doesn't help and he's still putting
u down u have to leave him for your own sanity.
you only live once,anxiety is a deadly serious,crippling disorder and he needs to get this.

I'm sorry being so blunt,but it's your life.

again,I know little about relationships,I mostly loved drugs,but anxiety has been my nemesis
and your story reached me.

best of luck from the land of hopes and dreams.
 
That is ridiculous that he thinks scaring you is funny or a way to make you "stronger". I agree with thedawn, don't put up with that. He sounds like the one with control issues.
 
He sounds like an idiot. Surprised you havn't smacked him YOURSELF already.
 
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Wow... Yeah as a fellow anxiety sufferer, I don't know how you put up with it. I blow up if people even try to help me when I'm having an anxiety attack because it makes it worse, let alone when someone does it on purpose.

He needs to knock that off or you should find a new partner as others have said. When you're in recovery from anything, whether it be a mental health, substance abuse, or other issue, you need supportive people around you because it takes just one negative person to push your buttons at the right time and make all of your progress come crashing down.

I'm not trying to be critical, I'm speaking from experience. I've struggled with severe anxiety since 2006 after starting to having occasional panic attacks in 2004. I have had to cut a lot of people out of my life, including family members, because they were too negative and totally not helpful or supportive.

Best of luck. *hugs* <3
 
What the hell is wrong with him? Seriously that's not funny. Have you tried talking to him? How long have you been with him?
 
That is definitely not cool at all! I would have broken up with him if I were you tbh. He needs to grow up or check out!
 
By what you typed you are aware that he obviously thinks you're weak because of your anxiety and to be honest why would you bother sharing any intimate side of yourself with someone like this.
If you can handle it, then that's fine but if not; they will probably drain you , throwing a negative spot-light on your vulnerabilities just to make them feel in control. This is usually because they don't have the gumption to deal with their own feelings and think they are flawless.

From my own experience of partners who are like this, they are generally either ignorant/immature/just plain bad. They may provoke you to confront them and cause drama so that they can scapegoat you. They may want to have the last word and enjoy controlling you. Or they simply may have no understanding of your condition. If it is the last point, then maybe he can learn to understand but if he isn't empathetic, then this is a fruitless exercise.

I obviously cannot say that this is what is happening with any certainty but there is usually a dynamic when you are in relationships with ignorant people/control freaks/manipulators - it is one where you will always be carrying their mistreatment and end up feeling weak, because that's how they judge you. You will end up blaming each other over and over.

Being constructively critical is one thing, it requires emotional intelligence. If he is not being sensitive to your needs, especially when you have EXPLAINED them to him this is simply NOT good enough.

I hope he has the willingness to be open to respecting you for who you are and support as well as understand you; helping to 'build you up' instead of the opposite. If not, or if he just thinks you are 'over-reacting' I would seriously consider ending it - it is not a good portent of things to come. Relationships and life are difficult enough, as is, without this not being the default mode a couple should strive for.

Err on the side of caution and don't make excuses for your bf's lack of empathy. <3
 
^+ 1, well I actually cyberpunched him ;)

Girl that is so fucked up. That's a deal breaker! He sounds like a immature kid.
Maybe he is unknowledgeable about anxiety, I would try to let him know what your anxiety feels like and how scaring you escalates it even more.
If he doesn't get the point after educating him on anxiety, I would totally ditch his ass.

O0o0o this thread made me boiling pissed off, I feel for you Hun.
 
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