I still wake up in terror if i get flashes of previous dmt experinces during dreaming shaken to the core of my existence and mad that not even death is an escape out of this fucking infinite reality. Struggle to catch my breathe and just despair that we are truly just play things ants in a infinitly large sandbox at the mercy of this higher power. They use to say god was infinite goodness under christanity etc philosphy of the west. But what if the alternative is that "God" is acutally infinite suffering and evil that shit scares the fuck out me everyday that the core of reality is to suffer and evil is woven into its fabric and is its nature. Look at the natural world its violent animal eat animal or plants which are also life to live on. Every being suffers in one way or another.
