I have a drinking problem.

[flowkitty]

So this is very difficult for me to talk about because it makes me feel very ashamed as well as worried for my health. But I am coming here because I need some advice/insight from an outside source. The only people in my life who know this about me are my two roommates, simply because it is impossible to hide all the beer cans that I accumulate.


I don't know the definition of "alcoholic" but I know that I have a problem. For the past three years, I have drank alcohol every single night, with the exception of roughly 10 nights total that I didn't drink throughout those three years. I was also a regular drinker for the 3 years before that, but I was drinking 2-4 times a week rather than every night, and was drinking socially back then (at parties, bars, etc.)


For the most recent 3 years though, I drink 2-5 beers (6%ABV) alone every night (I am a 24yr old female 5'6 125lbs). I am very introverted and drinking and smoking marijuana alone each night is very enjoyable for me. Drinking with others isn't as fun to me these days. I start between 4 and 6 pm every night, and I am usually asleep by 9pm, 11 at the latest (I work early mornings). I DO NOT drink liquor and I DO NOT get hammered wasted. I drink my beers somewhat slow and maintain my composure very well. I don't like the feeling of being VERY intoxicated and what goes along with it. Some nights I end up more drunk than planned but usually I just catch a nice buzz and go to sleep. Nothing wild and crazy. Nothing I get a hangover from. I feel like it regulates my sleep, and I wouldn't be able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour without it. I had always had really bad insomnia until I started drinking every night.


Besides my alcohol problem, (and mdma use every couple months), I am a pretty health-conscious person. I eat a vegan diet, I get a reasonable amount of exercise daily, try to drink lots of water, and I quit smoking cigarettes 15 months ago after an 8 year habit. Despite my actions, I do care about my health, and I am concerned about what 2-5 beers every single night for such a long period of time has done to my body, and what it will continue to do if I don't stop. I truly feel like I cannot stop, and have felt that way for a very long time. In many ways it feels even harder than quitting cigarettes was. My drinking problem is a burden in many ways and if it were that easy to "just stop," I would have done it ages ago. I just don't even know where to start, and I would NEVER want to attend an AA meeting because I'm not a social person and very private about this.


Any advice or insight would be appreciated. I feel very alone in this.

 

[deos68]

shit bro i am the exact same way/still am in a sense you are not alone understand you are an alcoholic many people wont admit that
its not contagious no need to be ashamed of anything
i started drinking about 2 yrs ago to self medicate because of this hellish anxiety i was drinking anywhere from 4 to 10 beers a nightly every single day
it got to the point where i would start drinking at 2pm 3 pm funny thing was i was still able to function almost if i have taken the xanax i was prescribed
i finally said fuck it and went into detox which wasnt anything i expected and i felt great
but the sad truth is i started drinking again its a bitch i know it all to well
well my mother had a stroke 2 weeks after i got out of detox and 2 weeks sober of course what did i do? yup you guessed it i started drinking again
now im not as bad as the 6 to 10 beers nightly anymore im quite stable now at 2 beers for a nice buzz hell with 3 beers i feel shit faced not sure how my tolerance reset itself but i glad it did
i have talked to my doc countless times although drinking now my situation is a bit diff im actually terrified about withdrawal but in my situation the chances of that are not the same as someone drinking a 5th of vodka everyday but again its my anxiety

to not wrtie a book there is no shame in getting help in all honesty if you think its becoming a prob get help no need to go public with anything do what you have to do
although alcohol wtihdrawal is scary and serious remember its not like opiate or benzodiazepam withdrawal
i went into detox for 7 days and i was fine no medical issues nothing
nothing wrong with getting your liver checked out either
in the end you have to take care of yourself no one else will watch out for you but you i learned this the hard way
i cant speak for mdma usage but good ol beer feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk

crazy man your story sent chills up my spine very very similar to me again never think you are alone

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

if i were u if go to a detox and then after that u gotta find something to take the place of the beer at night. Do u have any hobbies? Maybe try reading or something its tough i know...

I am a introverted person too and i hate meetings i just dont go to them any more. I dont talk to anyone about my problem shooting dope but thats why i keep relapsing. Dont be like me And keep everything inside, its really bad. I found in the past when i met some really extroverted people who forced me to share my feelings helped alot actualy. But in the end i shut them out and continued to get high

Go to detox, find a hobby, talk to someone

 

[szuko000]

I was an alcoholic for approximately 3 years. In that time I would drink about 200-375mL a night, but always at least 200mL. Unlike you I would drink to the point of intoxication, so much so that on the first day of classes for the spring semester I was so hungover I didnt leave my bed until 3PM. Basically I was stuck in this cycle for 3 years and if I didnt drink it was because I couldnt even afford a 3 dollar bottle of vodka.

Anyway I found several ways to lower my drinking. The first and best is walking when you should be drinking and then replacing the drink with a different beverage. In the winter when I was trying to avoid drinking I would have a cup of hot chocolate every night so I would have something to drink ritually. Walking for an hour or 2 would cut into the drinking time which helped because I would start at 6PM but if I could just make it till 10PM I would go "its too late to drink now i would have to chug vodka to get buzzed for 30 minutes to wake up hung over" So it worked for me.

The other better thing was marijuana because I couldnt drink if i wanted to if i was stoned. The taste was gross or i would end up forgetting. Then once you get time under your belt not drinking will be easier. Being introverted myself I found it was better for me to go for walks and solo activities as I drank alone so my nights were preferred alone.