I hate that I talk about meth like I’m praising it, or I lie that I’m in control. For 6 years I have been justifying my meth addiction. I hate myself

[Win_-_Lose-eitherway]

Like the typical addict who thinks their family is against them and hates them; I chose meth over my family. I been lost in meth for 6 years. I fucken hate myself. I lost 65 pounds that I can’t gain back because when I do straighten out , the fucken pipe always calls me back. 6 years of trying to take control back of my life and every attempt is met with failure. Relapse after relapse after relapse after relapse. It’s a fucken nasty cycle. I had no clue that meth would dig its claws in me and never let go. It all started from snorting one Hollywood line and I was up for 2 days. That totally blew me away. I was flabbergasted. I was amazed at what meth did to me. I never let my parents talk to me. I think they hate me. I never let my son or brother talk to me. I think they hate me. And when I get into this self pity bullshit and want people to feel sorry for me it makes me wanna hit the pipe. So I’m not gonna feel sorry myself. I’m just gonna hit the fucken pipe since there’s an ocean in it. I hope my lungs finally give out so I can die and be cured from addiction. One certainty in life, is death.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Yeah man, been there. Don’t hate yourself though. You have an affliction. An addiction. For many years, I disagreed that addiction is a disease but after more thinking over the years I have concluded that it is. And it’s very hard to break away from once you are so deep in it.

You have a choice before you take that first hit after you have been clean awhile, but after that it doesn’t really feel like a choice anymore. Feels more like a possession. That’s how I always felt when I was in your shoes. I felt like I was possessed by a demon. I was sitting in the backseat watching as a passenger while this demon did things that broke my heart. I never physically hurt anyone but I did steal and break hearts.

When you are this deep in addiction and especially with meth. Been there as well. It feels as if there is no hope and no way out, but truly there is.

Now, what I’m about to say is probably going to stir the pot for some. A lot of ppl seem to be against it BUT when you are this deep you really need a place where you have no access to meth for awhile. The longer the better but 60-90 days I think is enough. Hell even 30. The best way to do this and it may seem
Like it will suck is going inpatient to a treatment center. That’s what I did. And really, it wasn’t bad.

Just find one that you can smoke at if you smoke and with decent accommodations. Don’t need a 5 star resort but the more comfortable you are the better it will be. Seriously, impatient wasn’t bad at all. I actually enjoyed it TBH. It had its ups and downs but all and all it was a good experience.

It’s just so hard to quit methamphetamine when you’re using it regularly for so long and really, I can’t say this enough, you need some time for your brain to start to heal to where you get to a point you do have a choice. Some control over not using it.

I don’t as hopeless when I went to inpatient but by day 3 I found hope again. Best wishes to you man. Keep your head up. And don’t be so hard on yourself man. Meth is a hella a drug and takes over easily.

If you do this, you may spend 30-90 days away, but you have the rest of your future to look forward to. I know it sounds cheesy but would t you like to have hope again and things in life to look forward to?

 

[Win_-_Lose-eitherway]

most definitely I would. I was high all this time that’s why I didn’t know how to reply. Or I was trying to make up a lie and a story about not going to rehab.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

So, what's it do for you? What does the experience give you that you find so irresistible? ...
'cause it must be doing SOMETHING or you wouldn't keep going back to it.

 

[Win_-_Lose-eitherway]

It keeps me going. I start a project and I fixate on it until it’s complete. Meth helped me do 12 hour study flails in college I graduated with good marks

 

[Fourofakind]

Im a methamphetamine user too, i have using 11 years, and fall in the abuse more than one time.
Honestly, when you abuse the drug and you are aware that isnt really helping so much, or is giving you strong highs/downs, specially downs, is time to take a rest...


I was taking high doses all this year, and the 1st of july i taked a rest of 100 days, that was wonderful days, and helped me a ton, i can clear my mind of that shitty paranoid and depressive ideas, and got back to the reality.

I gone to rehab for the first month, i know i will not get sober if i was in a place where i can obtain the drug, so i moved from my city and gone to rehab in a remote place, all the free time i had in rehab i used it do heavy excercise, and continued doing it until today, i was eating like crazy around 2 monts, with excercise, protein, creatine, etc., gained 16 kilos, done some nice friends, and got out from my mind that shitty paranoid depressive ideas with help of them, or at least their company.

i get out and continue being clean 2 months, then i started using drugs in october (meth 50-100mg, mirtazapine 30mg, lyrica 450mg, clonazepam 2mg), i added those to meth becouse i know well the effects on me, help for the overstimulation, appetite, daily sleep, anxiety, downs..., i started using again cuz got unmotivated and depressed as fuck te last few weeks, neglect my my business and i cant be a dirty lazy depressed person becouse most days at work i know new clients and how do you see is very important cuz im trying to sell my services and there are tons of other options than me, i cant be high as fuck too, so im not using meth at the work, im not using ant the night, and if i start using it in that way, i will stop, if i cant or dont have the will of stop, i preffer to lost time in rehab than lost much more time in heavy adicction, in my 15 years daily polydrug use i have been 8 times in rehab, every one have done wonders in me and my life, and a waste of time lol.

Just go to rehab if you cant succesfully stop, if you wanna get back to use other drugs or meth its okay, just take a rest in rehab is what you need bro , take care of yourself please.