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I hate sleeping.

I dislike sleeping, my mind is too hyperactive for sleep but I also feel like I am going to miss something if I go to bed. I blame technology.
 
I also hate sleeping. I used to dread it every single night because I knew I would just lie in bed for hours going over all the negative things in my life, only to get a few hours of sleep during which not only would I be having nightmares, but I'd also be wasting time since I could be doing something productive.
So in the past year or so I've gone to only sleeping about 4 nights a week, that way I'm usually so exhausted that I'll just crash and sleep much more peacefully. Probably not very healthy though.
 
I hate sleeping too. It can take me hours to get to sleep at night. Except if I'm on benzos or something else, then it's easy. But I hate sleeping. I'm kind of scared of it. I hate going to sleep. I do have anxiety. I can't stop thinking before I go to bed. I toss and turn. I get scared about things. I get way too anxious.
 
I dislike sleeping because I don't know if I'll wake up in time for work and what not; I tend to stay up as often as I want to, and only get sleep when I absolutely need it. I also have insomnia and have a history of staying up for 2 days in a row without the use of stimulants.
 
I usually only sleep when exhausted aswell. Stay up over 24 then sleep a long time..repeat.without stimulants too. Its a mix of things for me. Dont feel like my days are...complete ever. I remember a lonng time ago I could sleep well because I was satisfied with the day. Thats very rare now. Need to find something to make my days feel like they meant something again i guess. Also have a hard time sleeping alone.. My sleep got better for about 2 years living with a boyfriend until shit got reallly sour then i couldnt sleep at all. Now its really hard to convince my self to sleep.Like trying to make a damn toddler sleep. Im thristy im hungry im scared i want my stuffed animal duck lmao..by the time i end up asleep im depressed n exhausted n sleep too hard then cant convince myself to wake up. when i do i feel like shit horrible anxiety and zombified and usually pissed cuz i slept the day away haha. So i end up not sleeping at all alot. Actually I feel alot better on every level after being awake about 19 hours...around the 21 mark it changes to emotional angry almost drunk lol. Not sure what to do about this either
 
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