mentholman
Greenlighter
I have read threads on this forum for years. I found myself back here again tonight and I've had just enough to want to post...I guess.
I may have this board all wrong, or I may not. I have been led to this site by Google searches more times than I can remember. Hang on...this is an introduction thread. I should do that first.
I'm Ryan. I am a drug user. I like them...A lot. I have been using drugs since I was twelve; nine if you count nicotine. I started smoking pot at 12. I found it under my parents bed and faked being sick the next day, so that I could stay home with no supervision. I sneaked into their room and packed a big fat bowl. I smoked it in the back yard and then watched space balls. I smoked regularly after that.
My father was an alcoholic so I had beer and whiskey around all the time and started swiping them at about 11 years old. I have never really liked alcohol. It's just been so readily available, that I've often turned to it. I do however like the taste of Heineken, so I drink that.
When I was14, I used acid for the first time. I liked it, but I mostly used it again and again because the people I hung out with used it, and I hadn't found anything better. From 14 -17 I dabbled with a few things. I smoked crack, meth and pcp..didn't like those...too itchy and twitchy. I used mushrooms, which I did like for quite some time but don't like now. I had a bad experience in 2007 and it completely turned me off to shrooms.
I used ecstasy for the first time in 2000. I had a buddy that went to Ybor city in Tampa on vacation and came back talking it up. He was a weed dealer and eventually found E through his contacts where we lived. My girlfriend at the time was first to try it. She went out a few times without me...I know...but finally one fateful night, brought some home. I swallowed one pill and crushed another one to drink with a glass of water. I spent the rest of the night melting into my couch and listening to the one techno mix CD that was in my house over and over.
A few months later, I tried coke and instantly fell in love. I never got addicted to it, but I enjoyed the heck out of it. Blowing an 8 ball and playing nintendo is straight up entertaining!
During my time in the rave scene I tried several drugs, some more than others. I liked Ghb, and K. I was more into the smacky stuff.
After that point in my life, I went back to the basics...weed, booze and whatever pain killers I was prescribed for injuries or surgeries every now and then.
In 2008, I went back into the military. Went totally clean. It worked. I was a normal functioning citizen. Then I got injured. I had the right half of my body broken. The Army put me on 2 types of morphine (IR and Ms contin) and percs. Not to mention all of the anti-whatevers...xanax, seroquel, etc. And then the sleeping pills. I was back in pill popping bliss. I was medically retired due to my injuries in 2010. Since then, I have been on and off of pain killers and I smoked weed a lot from 2010-2014, mainly just to relax at night.
Currently, I drink and use pain killers. I smoke pot occasionally...probably not enough, but I just don't like smoking anymore. If I was offered any drug I wanted, I would choose ecstasy. I love..I am madly in love with ecstasy. Though I haven't had it in about 9 years. If someone offered me some, I would take it in a second.
However, I have built a wall around my life to keep it out. I dove so deep into the rave and club scene that I barely made it out. I was using and selling. I went from my girlfriend bringing home 2 pills for me, to not missing a weekend for nearly 3 years. Then in the peak, I partied during the week too.
I had a ton of fun in the rave scene. However, I had just become a single father with full custody of two children. Partying and parenting were not two things that I could combine well. After a few close calls with the authorites, I moved to BFE Virginia. I was living in an area that knew nothing of ecstasy or raving. It helped me break my routine. When I moved back to Indiana, I met my wife. I was stoned and screwing around in MSN chat rooms and found her in one. After we finally met face to face, we started our relationship. She went to a few parties with me, but rolling wasn't her thing. I stopped partying for her and my kids.
So I built the wall. I cut contact with anyone I partied with. I stopped listening to my favorite music (DnB) and I just kept pretending to not be the person I am. I have done this ever since. I don't quite fit in anywhere, because most of what people see is a facade.
At times, I have slipped. My wife has caught me looking at party pictures on line. I even asked her to come to EDC with me. But at the same time, I don't even fit in there anymore. I'm older now..34. I don't party. I own a business and I work my ass off. I am normally dirty and sun burned. I have teen age kids now. One leaves for college next year. I can't run around in baggy pants with a Vicks inhaler in my nose and kandy on my arms...as much as I would like to.
I have thought recently about going to some parties and trying to meet other professionals who party. Maybe end up at house parties with like minded grown ups. I even mentioned it to my wife and she didn't oppose.
So there it is. My super long introduction. I hope I didn't break any rules and to those of you who actually read the whole thing....seriously...thanks. I haven't told anyone all of that in a long time.
I may have this board all wrong, or I may not. I have been led to this site by Google searches more times than I can remember. Hang on...this is an introduction thread. I should do that first.
I'm Ryan. I am a drug user. I like them...A lot. I have been using drugs since I was twelve; nine if you count nicotine. I started smoking pot at 12. I found it under my parents bed and faked being sick the next day, so that I could stay home with no supervision. I sneaked into their room and packed a big fat bowl. I smoked it in the back yard and then watched space balls. I smoked regularly after that.
My father was an alcoholic so I had beer and whiskey around all the time and started swiping them at about 11 years old. I have never really liked alcohol. It's just been so readily available, that I've often turned to it. I do however like the taste of Heineken, so I drink that.
When I was14, I used acid for the first time. I liked it, but I mostly used it again and again because the people I hung out with used it, and I hadn't found anything better. From 14 -17 I dabbled with a few things. I smoked crack, meth and pcp..didn't like those...too itchy and twitchy. I used mushrooms, which I did like for quite some time but don't like now. I had a bad experience in 2007 and it completely turned me off to shrooms.
I used ecstasy for the first time in 2000. I had a buddy that went to Ybor city in Tampa on vacation and came back talking it up. He was a weed dealer and eventually found E through his contacts where we lived. My girlfriend at the time was first to try it. She went out a few times without me...I know...but finally one fateful night, brought some home. I swallowed one pill and crushed another one to drink with a glass of water. I spent the rest of the night melting into my couch and listening to the one techno mix CD that was in my house over and over.
A few months later, I tried coke and instantly fell in love. I never got addicted to it, but I enjoyed the heck out of it. Blowing an 8 ball and playing nintendo is straight up entertaining!
During my time in the rave scene I tried several drugs, some more than others. I liked Ghb, and K. I was more into the smacky stuff.
After that point in my life, I went back to the basics...weed, booze and whatever pain killers I was prescribed for injuries or surgeries every now and then.
In 2008, I went back into the military. Went totally clean. It worked. I was a normal functioning citizen. Then I got injured. I had the right half of my body broken. The Army put me on 2 types of morphine (IR and Ms contin) and percs. Not to mention all of the anti-whatevers...xanax, seroquel, etc. And then the sleeping pills. I was back in pill popping bliss. I was medically retired due to my injuries in 2010. Since then, I have been on and off of pain killers and I smoked weed a lot from 2010-2014, mainly just to relax at night.
Currently, I drink and use pain killers. I smoke pot occasionally...probably not enough, but I just don't like smoking anymore. If I was offered any drug I wanted, I would choose ecstasy. I love..I am madly in love with ecstasy. Though I haven't had it in about 9 years. If someone offered me some, I would take it in a second.
However, I have built a wall around my life to keep it out. I dove so deep into the rave and club scene that I barely made it out. I was using and selling. I went from my girlfriend bringing home 2 pills for me, to not missing a weekend for nearly 3 years. Then in the peak, I partied during the week too.
I had a ton of fun in the rave scene. However, I had just become a single father with full custody of two children. Partying and parenting were not two things that I could combine well. After a few close calls with the authorites, I moved to BFE Virginia. I was living in an area that knew nothing of ecstasy or raving. It helped me break my routine. When I moved back to Indiana, I met my wife. I was stoned and screwing around in MSN chat rooms and found her in one. After we finally met face to face, we started our relationship. She went to a few parties with me, but rolling wasn't her thing. I stopped partying for her and my kids.
So I built the wall. I cut contact with anyone I partied with. I stopped listening to my favorite music (DnB) and I just kept pretending to not be the person I am. I have done this ever since. I don't quite fit in anywhere, because most of what people see is a facade.
At times, I have slipped. My wife has caught me looking at party pictures on line. I even asked her to come to EDC with me. But at the same time, I don't even fit in there anymore. I'm older now..34. I don't party. I own a business and I work my ass off. I am normally dirty and sun burned. I have teen age kids now. One leaves for college next year. I can't run around in baggy pants with a Vicks inhaler in my nose and kandy on my arms...as much as I would like to.
I have thought recently about going to some parties and trying to meet other professionals who party. Maybe end up at house parties with like minded grown ups. I even mentioned it to my wife and she didn't oppose.
So there it is. My super long introduction. I hope I didn't break any rules and to those of you who actually read the whole thing....seriously...thanks. I haven't told anyone all of that in a long time.
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