SobrietyChaser
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2013
- Messages
- 8
Hello Everybody,
I just joined yesterday however have been stealing advise from here for years. for most of my life I have ingesting or consumed one or more addictive substance. pain killers I have always loved, weed, cigs, alcohol and other drugs (E, lsd, cocaine, crack, heroin, pcp) just to name a few.
well my dad died two months ago from cancer. I was so depressed and in bed for weeks after that. just smoking and thinking about how I wasted my 30's away and that is what he knew of me when he died. not to mention the shock of not being able to call him or ever see him anymore. fuck, I get teary eyed even typing about it. I can barely talk about it without my voice giving my emotions away. you would think that a disabled veteran of the usmc would have better control over his/her emotions..
while in bed for weeks, I decided I was not going to smoke anything anymore, drink or drug. I was going to start to take control of myself again. I woke up about 3 weeks ago, and first stopped smoking cigs, 2 days later stopped weed, 2 days later stopped the alcohol without much w/d as every hurdle I passed gave me the strength for the next. started eating healthy, and I felt that I could adapt, improvise and overcome. I knew then I had to stop the opioids to get myself fully out of depression so I can be like when I was a kid. I don't know why but that just makes sense to me.
today is day one of fentanyl w/d. I tapered from 50mcg to 25,12.5, 6. it was not easy, but the strength I got from quitting over vices gave me the strength to do this. I want to make a positive out of his death, that sounds wrong, and it might be, but what else can you do......feel sad about it all the time? the hell with that. I hate feelings depressed and am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I just joined yesterday however have been stealing advise from here for years. for most of my life I have ingesting or consumed one or more addictive substance. pain killers I have always loved, weed, cigs, alcohol and other drugs (E, lsd, cocaine, crack, heroin, pcp) just to name a few.
well my dad died two months ago from cancer. I was so depressed and in bed for weeks after that. just smoking and thinking about how I wasted my 30's away and that is what he knew of me when he died. not to mention the shock of not being able to call him or ever see him anymore. fuck, I get teary eyed even typing about it. I can barely talk about it without my voice giving my emotions away. you would think that a disabled veteran of the usmc would have better control over his/her emotions..
while in bed for weeks, I decided I was not going to smoke anything anymore, drink or drug. I was going to start to take control of myself again. I woke up about 3 weeks ago, and first stopped smoking cigs, 2 days later stopped weed, 2 days later stopped the alcohol without much w/d as every hurdle I passed gave me the strength for the next. started eating healthy, and I felt that I could adapt, improvise and overcome. I knew then I had to stop the opioids to get myself fully out of depression so I can be like when I was a kid. I don't know why but that just makes sense to me.
today is day one of fentanyl w/d. I tapered from 50mcg to 25,12.5, 6. it was not easy, but the strength I got from quitting over vices gave me the strength to do this. I want to make a positive out of his death, that sounds wrong, and it might be, but what else can you do......feel sad about it all the time? the hell with that. I hate feelings depressed and am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
.