I fucking can't take this anymore..

[BlueberryfishY]

To start out about 3-4 years ago i started messing with pills, mostly xanax, skip ahead like 2 years and i start getting pains in my wrists and knee's, so my regular doc refers me to a PM doc and he starts me out on Roxicodone 15mg 90 per month, well as soon as i get them my stupid fucking ass goes thru them in less than 5 days, 5 fucking days!! i just did the last of them cause i was so pissed i always tell myself im gonna take it easy this time and only take as needed or at least try to, well it never happens this is like my 6th script i've went thru, im just sick of it now i have to suffer 3 weeks and it feels like for fucking ever! i know this is my dumbass fault but is there any tricks on holding on to my pills longer?

 

[EoTorv]

Could a trusted someone doll them out to you over time?

 

[NomNomNom]

I'm not at your level of experience (really the max i've taken over a few months is like (5) 7.5mg Percocet per day) but it sounds like you might need some help man. I wouldn't want to have to go through rehab personally, so if i were you i would try to do anything/everything in my power to avoid that.

The first thing i'd try to work on is the mental aspect, i know i've had times were i didn't have pills for weeks at a time but knew the exact date when i would, so i'd spend day after day doing what i call 'perving' on pills - just sitting and thinking about Percocet all fucking day long, imagining myself at the beach on a few Percs, how great work would be, how i could go out and drink 20 drinks in a night and let the hangover evaporate in the morning with a few Percs...When you spend 26 days fiending for pills there's no chance you're not going to tear through 'em when they finally come around.

All this does is transform the time you have sober into something that just reinforces your addiction -even though you spend 5 days a month zonked out on Roxis, somehow your entire life is revolving around Roxis. Terrible.

People talk about lifestyle change - oh just go out, diet, exercise, take long walks on the beach etc. That's all well and good but if drug addicts could just swap dope for yoga there's be many fewer rimmed up Escalades bumping shitty rap music in my neighborhood. But i digress.

What's worked for me is to just say..."shit, ANYTHING is better for me than staring at a wall and fiending for pills, if i go for 1 walk per week or eat 1 more healthy meal per week i'm better off than if i didn't". Just find anything non-drug related to take your mind off that shit, no matter how silly. If it were me i'd try to do some research on alternative methods of pain management, i mean yeah Oxycodone does wonders for pain, but if that's all you use all that's going to happen is that your pain level will stay the same or increase, and your tolerance will increase over time, leaving you more fucked than you are now.

You really need the pills for pain, but it also sounds like you really need them to get high, you can either have them for pain for most of the month or you can get high a few times and be in agony, just try to hold onto the memory of how shitty going through withdrawal is. You can also look up potentiators to make the pills go further - fatty foods work well for me but then again i gained 50lbs. in 2 years lol. Good Luck man!

 

[BlueberryfishY]

Could a trusted someone doll them out to you over time?

Yeah, this is a good idea i might just try and do that.

 

[BlueberryfishY]

I'm not at your level of experience (really the max i've taken over a few months is like (5) 7.5mg Percocet per day) but it sounds like you might need some help man. I wouldn't want to have to go through rehab personally, so if i were you i would try to do anything/everything in my power to avoid that.

The first thing i'd try to work on is the mental aspect, i know i've had times were i didn't have pills for weeks at a time but knew the exact date when i would, so i'd spend day after day doing what i call 'perving' on pills - just sitting and thinking about Percocet all fucking day long, imagining myself at the beach on a few Percs, how great work would be, how i could go out and drink 20 drinks in a night and let the hangover evaporate in the morning with a few Percs...When you spend 26 days fiending for pills there's no chance you're not going to tear through 'em when they finally come around.

All this does is transform the time you have sober into something that just reinforces your addiction -even though you spend 5 days a month zonked out on Roxis, somehow your entire life is revolving around Roxis. Terrible.

People talk about lifestyle change - oh just go out, diet, exercise, take long walks on the beach etc. That's all well and good but if drug addicts could just swap dope for yoga there's be many fewer rimmed up Escalades bumping shitty rap music in my neighborhood. But i digress.

What's worked for me is to just say..."shit, ANYTHING is better for me than staring at a wall and fiending for pills, if i go for 1 walk per week or eat 1 more healthy meal per week i'm better off than if i didn't". Just find anything non-drug related to take your mind off that shit, no matter how silly. If it were me i'd try to do some research on alternative methods of pain management, i mean yeah Oxycodone does wonders for pain, but if that's all you use all that's going to happen is that your pain level will stay the same or increase, and your tolerance will increase over time, leaving you more fucked than you are now.

You really need the pills for pain, but it also sounds like you really need them to get high, you can either have them for pain for most of the month or you can get high a few times and be in agony, just try to hold onto the memory of how shitty going through withdrawal is. You can also look up potentiators to make the pills go further - fatty foods work well for me but then again i gained 50lbs. in 2 years lol. Good Luck man!

You are right about a lot of what you posted, sitting around thinking about the day i get my script and how fun things are gonna be when i get them, i hate that (like fishing and going out with friends and stuff) and your right i do need help, but i really do have pain so i need the meds, i just need to buckle down and realize the fun is over, i dont have a job to buy more pills so the 90 i get is it.

 

[phosphene_glow]

Yeah, this is a good idea i might just try and do that.

90/15s in a week is alot. You're not going to feel them in smaller doses, but you might be able to take your three daily all at once oince a day to keep from withdrawls. Over the counter meds also do work. Druggies forget that. Acetominophen does work. Naproxen does work, and of course they are cheap and over the counter.

Your best bet, and what I've done in a similar crisis was to entrust my narcotics - all of them to my wife, who is a harder sell than the doctor and would only give them to me when asked, but your trusted other could dole them out as suggested once per day and like I said 3 roxys a day is a decent little dose.

Okay, now here's the thing. If you have irritable stomach then you need to take psyllium husk fiber, either pills or mix and drink keifer to replenish probiotics or else in time you'll get nervous stomach which is worse than aches and pains and if not understood or treated can kill you.

So, and, especially if you take NSAIDs as I suggested you also must take Prilosec or some other stomach acid reliever to prevent ulcer. then you can take more aleve or ibuprofen or whathaveyou without chance of bleeding ulcer.

Okay, here's a trick for keeping tolerance low on opiates. The only way opiates leave the system is through bowel movements. It doesn't pee out. So you need to eliminate as well as you can to get rid of excess metabolized drugs, then new drugs taken will work a bit more effectively. Psyllium is the best standard fiber builder, and a regimen of some six Metamucil tablets are easy to take and do wonders for the typically compressed smooth muscle of the colon, and between all these suggestions you may cut your normal pain and your normal abuse cycle.

Next time you see your doctor ask for a script for 1000 milligram Naproxen too. Or buy over the counter if you're scared to embellish your pain meds before your doctor. Even if you ask him he may think you're taking too many of the others and so need somthing extra.

You may also suggest that you're tired of roxis and could you please switch to something -similar- meaning ideally morphine. It's the gold standard of pain meds with no known analgesic limit. Only do this stuff with your doctor if he is an open minded fellow. Otherwise suggesting specific drugs gets you the doctor shopping tag, and fucks you out of something which is probably pretty beneficial to you (that is, if you were able to take them as prescribed.)

Good luck. Please try the probiotic drink like keifer and the fiber, just for plain old stomach health. Do you know what I mean?

 

[QuasiStoned]

Okay, here's a trick for keeping tolerance low on opiates. The only way opiates leave the system is through bowel movements. It doesn't pee out. So you need to eliminate as well as you can to get rid of excess metabolized drugs, then new drugs taken will work a bit more effectively.

I call bullshit sir. Opiates are metabolized by the liver and are likely broken down into inactive byproducts. Morphine alone is subject to extensive metabolism by liver enzymes in the gut and first pass metabolism. Only about 1/3 makes it through unscathed, and it's not like you had to physically SHIT the morphine out

Maybe I just misunderstood you but that doesn't really sound right to me.

 

[paranoid android]

.

Okay, here's a trick for keeping tolerance low on opiates. The only way opiates leave the system is through bowel movements. It doesn't pee out. So you need to eliminate as well as you can to get rid of excess metabolized drugs, then new drugs taken will work a bit more effectively. Psyllium is the best standard fiber builder, and a regimen of some six Metamucil tablets are easy to take and do wonders for the typically compressed smooth muscle of the colon, and between all these suggestions you may cut your normal pain and your normal abuse cycle.

That is complete and utter bullshit. As in complete fucking shit. Opioid tolerance has to do with how it effects the brain. The more you use the higher tolerance goes. I am a chronic pain patient myself and also a addict and ive been using them for about 6 years. So i know all to well about tolerance.

To the OP: I really feel for you as i am in the same situation. I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia and i take morphine for it. I have been on everything from codeine to fentanyl to treat the pain. I was on dilaudid for breakthrough pain for awile and i developed a rather bad IV drug habit from it. I also occasionally shoot the morphine as well.

If you could get someone to give you the pills as needed that would be your best bet i think. Fell free to hit me up via PM if you have any questions or anything.

 

[PendulumAM]

my mom's friend does exactly the same thing (for a moment I got scared that you WERE him but he's this 50ish dude lol). he gets perscribed oxy 15s for back pain (generic roxi 15's) and he blows through his script of 90 in less than a week, everytime. well I snuck some from him but no more than 20 so he did most of that himself. honestly I know you probably love getting the script because roxies are really nice, but maybe you should ask for a pain med that isn't as abusive. I know you will really not want to do this but maybe wait for 2 weeks after you run out until the roxies are really out of your system and then tell your doctor you want something weaker, because by then you wont feel the need to have roxies as much. i've never had any reason to get perscribed pain meds so I don't know how it works, but vicodins and hydrocodones are weaker and can still give you pain relief. if the pain isn't really terrible then you can try for a really weak pain killer like Tramadol. coming from someone who's done a lot of oxycontin, oxycodone and roxies, weaker opiates like vicodin and percocet have no appeal to me.

 

[PendulumAM]

I call bullshit sir. Opiates are metabolized by the liver and are likely broken down into inactive byproducts. Morphine alone is subject to extensive metabolism by liver enzymes in the gut and first pass metabolism. Only about 1/3 makes it through unscathed, and it's not like you had to physically SHIT the morphine out

Maybe I just misunderstood you but that doesn't really sound right to me.

unless you plug your drug and get high off your poop

 

[Nover74]

methadone and dillaudid

 

[LayedBack]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much trouble.

I'm right their with you.... I am 20 years old, and I've had chronic nerve pain in my neck and hands for 10 months.

You should consider yourself lucky however, at least you actually get pain medicine. I was forced to go on to poppy tea illegally just to live a normal life... Now I have a terrible addiction that I really want to quit, but it's not so simple. Been on it almost a year now....

That plus depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, finding out I was cheated on and lied too for a half year. I've really been made in to a mess.

But you know what, I woke up one day last week, and realized no matter how bad shit gets, it CAN and WILL get better. You have to strive for it. I'm going to get clean, going to eat healthy. And use painkillers only for pain itself.

Good luck man, keep us updated. I will probably be starting a thread myself for my poppy taper.

 

[BlueberryfishY]

methadone and dillaudid

Seriously?

 

[paranoid android]

methadone and dillaudid

Please do not tell anyone to take drugs that are even more addictive then the ones they are on when they are already having severe problems with the ones they are taking! Dilaudid is the most addictive opiate i have ever taken by far. Hence why it get's reffered to as the crack of opiates.

Methadone might be a option but i would save it as a dead last option that is for sure.

 

[Bojangles69]

Well if you want them to work better in general I suggest taking them with loperamide. I think people focus on lope a lot for wds, but they forget it plugs all the receptors in the body, leaving more roxi to go to your head. I still think however you are likely to keep using them the same exact way, whether or not there really was some awesome way to make them last longer.
A while ago when I was at my worst with pods I wound up locking them in the locker at our school gym. After I'd work out, I'd take out only what I "needed" and no more, drive home, (like a 30min ride) with only 1 dose in my hand and take it that night. If I was tempted to use more they were in my school gym locker which was usually closed after 9pm. And even if I wanted to go back its an hour ride there and back, so I was able to moderate my use for a while.. but it only wound up working for a few months.

 

[BlueberryfishY]

Please do not tell anyone to take drugs that are even more addictive then the ones they are on when they are already having severe problems with the ones they are taking! Dilaudid is the most addictive opiate i have ever taken by far. Hence why it get's reffered to as the crack of opiates.

Methadone might be a option but i would save it as a dead last option that is for sure.

I know right, i was thinking the same thing.

Somehow by the grace of god i got into my PM doc today, thanks for all the good response, this time i'm gonna do it right.

 

[S.M.F.G]

wishing all the best blueberryfishY
im kinda having same probs but with maybe not the severity that you r experiencing
but i know how hard it is to keep ahold of ur pills and not take more....
all i can offer other than that is what i saw @the first few posts of the thread and hopefuly uv someone trustworthy closeby to maybe hold on to some of those 4 ya

 

[gemini681]

All I can suggest is having someone hold them or being real with your doc and risk not getting any. He won't leave you in pain just prob find something else.
I went through my pill phase and let me tell you there was no way I could control my use. I don't even like opiates lol.

 

[Ixchellian]

I'm telling ya'll..... if the opiates *are* needed for pain, and otc APAP / NSAIDs don't even touch it without opiates.... and especially for peripheral nerve/joint & sciatica-type pain.....
ask to try Lyrica for it.
Not only is it a godsend for many of us with chronic pain, it works *very* good at cutting back w/d symptoms (at least for me).

 

[BlueberryfishY]

So far so good guys, have had my script for almost 4 days now and i'm taking it as prescribed, he also gave me an extra 30 of them cause i told him the pain has been pretty bad, i can do this.


i'm buying a bunch of weed and Xanax bars to help me level out, and i have a script for Ritalin and Ambien that will help also.


thanks again for the replies and such.