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Mental Health I feel really awkuard around people, what can I do against it?

lars90

lars90

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Messages
523
Location
Germany/USA
Well first of I'm not doing any drugs but weed and alcohol. I stopped doing that though a while ago and I take breaks from it every time I use it like 8 weeks. So today, and this wasn't the first time, I met up with some friends I just totally felt weird from the inside. I felt totally okward bad wrongly positioned, socially okward, weird, bad and just totally not normal. I don't know what I can do about it I mean I'm only 15 is this just like a phase that every teenager goes though? I really have 0 self confidence and seem not to be funny at all. I fell like I'm just a sad soul lost. Here in the wrong place. It's like all of my good feelings and confidence are locked up in a cave inside me and only come out though drugs. I don't even do them on a daly basis only like once or twice a week. I don't want this I just want to be normal :/


Update:
I feel more selfconfident but I found out I have social phobia. When im dancing or what ever I feel like my stomach is tuning around. I cant bring out any straight sentances and feel misplaced.

Its wierd because it just happens sometimes. Somtimes Im totally fine too. I had it for like A week a drank some alkohol and smoked some weed then last friday it faded after that and I still dont have it now... (just an exsample...)
 
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stop smoking weed and drinking bro and develop yourself socially;

I can tell you if your feeling weird socially Weed is probably the worst drug ever to use
 
Because the effects of weed generally involve pushing the mind into an even more anti social sedated state.
The more you smoke, chances are, the more out of place you are going to feel.
I sometimes suffer from the same sort of thing as you..
Social anxiety is one term for it.. Though you shouldn't diagnose yourself with any solid complications just yet..
My advice would be to try avoid drinking and smoking for a few weeks.
You don't have to feel like this forever.. And you wont, as long as you respect your mind and body now.
 
don't smoke if you have anything social to do. a side effect is paranoia. i dont see how alcohol would make you anxious.
 
Yeah, I'm a very socially anxious person and I personally hate weed, even when I'm by myself. But it's unbearable even being around close friends when I'm on it.

It's something I struggle with too, but I'm getting better! :) Counseling and therapy are always options. I know many of my relapses were from feeling that insufferable social anxiety. I don't know if you're wanting to cut out alcohol and pot from your life altogether, but if you're not, still try to develop coping mechanisms for when you find yourself in those situations. Feeling like you need it in any situation significantly increases your chances of abusing or overdoing it in that moment, even if it's not an addiction in the big picture.
 
tripnotyzm said:
Because the effects of weed generally involve pushing the mind into an even more anti social sedated state.
The more you smoke, chances are, the more out of place you are going to feel.
I sometimes suffer from the same sort of thing as you..
Social anxiety is one term for it.. Though you shouldn't diagnose yourself with any solid complications just yet..
My advice would be to try avoid drinking and smoking for a few weeks.
You don't have to feel like this forever.. And you wont, as long as you respect your mind and body now.
Click to expand...
Agreed, marijuana makes some very self analytical and then theres the potential paranoia. In my experience with excessive use for years, getting into that mind frame on a regular basis just morphed me into an individual I never wanted to be.
 
I don't think smoking weed and getting drunk at 15 is a good idea. Studies show that this can cause damage to your development.

Feeling awkward and unsure of yourself is a normal part of growing up. If your anxiety is causing you to avoid social situations entirely, then you should maybe see a counselor to sort things out. In any case, stop smoking weed and drinking. They will make you feel even more out of touch with the world around you and that's the last thing you need.
 
this really boils down to having no self confidence more than anything else. The weed probably doesn't help either but why do you have no self confidence? i know you've been bullied in the past, have you sought counselling? I think i remember you saying you couldn't until you were 18 or something but read some self help books. Shit read 'the game' by neil strauss, learn to manipulate people and see them as objects and you will not have these issues any more. You may have an entirely new set of issues but you won't be socially anxious or feel strange around others.

I used to struggle with social anxiety badly but i realized, that people are people, and most people probably think like me, although in different ways. So if i seem weird, it's probably just me and no one will notice, people say weird stuff to me all the time and i don't care. Even if you do seem awkward it's not a big deal, you just gotta push yourself out of your shell, you're only 15, that is the problem. Develop your self-confidence and realize that the people around you aren't any different than you, just communicate with them like you would to a clone of yourself.
 
I agree that you should probably stop drinking and smoking, not only because it will alter how you feel in social situations, it will also have an adverse effect on the growth of your brain @ 15.

I have the same social anxiety and feelings like I don't fit in, however I find cannabis has the opposite effect of what others have mentioned here. It quells my anxiety and I become a more social person.

However, don't self diagnose anything, if you are truly worried that you have a psychological issue you should go see someone about it and get a professional opinion.
 
I was the same way for years when I was a teenager.

The magic is all in experience. The more experience you have talking to people, the more talking you do. Experience is the cure to fear. I forced myself to talk to people for years, and because of that, I finally feel comfortable talking to people. If you really want to feel socially comfortable, you're going to have to really want it... and work for it. It won't come to you any other way.
 
Tanks for all the Great replys. All of them are we're very helpful!
And special thanks to you RobotRipping for always sharing you knowleg with me. I was going to smoke some weed with one of my friends today but I think I'll just puff it. I really hate the high of weed like some of you stated. The negative effects are greater than the positive effects I get both really anxietious and shy and on the other hand feel calmed and ready to start a conversation. I don't know why I still do it after so many people have already told me if it doesn't feel good dont do it. I couldn't explain in words why I'm still using. But I'm stopping for good in 2 weeks after I have tried LSD once.

And yes I use to get bullyd and it seems to still have its effects but it doesn't happen any more. I also learned to give less of a "flying fuck" (as someone called it on one of my posts before) what other people think. Still I care. I can't seek any meant all health until I'm aeast 18 because I can't just tell my parents how I feel, my dad is an asshole and my mom would think its just a phase.



RobotRipping could if possible maybe send me a link. My computer and my whole room and the rest of the basement were flooded so I'm stuck with my mobile phone...
 
RobotRipping said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming

start there, it's bullshit pseudoscience but it works for whatever reason. This will help you in all avenues of your life, especially social interactions. Learn to maintain proper rapport, mirror body movements, use imaging techniques. It's all weird lol but i use a lot of it in my life.
Click to expand...

I second this, it was a godsend in helping me communicate with people better. Just be careful in how far you get into it... I can think of plenty of reasons why someone might think they're better than everyone else around them just as a result of being armed with this kind of knowledge. Narcissism can hurt you more than it can help.
 
If it keeps occurring, you can be prescribed beta blockers. These are a temporary fix to your day as they only last about 4-8 hours truly in my opinion but they solve the issue you have. These do however play with your heart, to which extent I'm unsure. But at your age they are a much better option than the likes of benzos which will ruin you. If you're getting that sort've dreaded/racey feeling and just uncomfortableness in a normal situation I found this is what they worked best for.

If this is a recent thing, as best as you can wait and ride it out. There's a lot of things that go on in your life that while you think aren't having an affect really are subconsciously, you could be having a tough time. But, if you did wait and ride it out for a few months and there is no fix go see your doctor because it takes a few visits for them to actually get onto doing something as they'll give you a similar ride it out response.

However, it's always better to try and deal with these things naturally rather than with drugs. My friend who suffered with Agoraphobia (Fear of going outside) and he claimed that the only way to fix it was to just get outside and force himself to interact. Understandably it'll be hard, but explain to any of your friends too if you trust them enough. Anxiety aint exactly something people make fun of most are understanding.

But keep in mind your age too, but also if it continues to solve it. I remember realizing potentially I had anxiety/depression at the age of 14-15 and used recreational drugs to try and solve it for many years before just going and getting it solved properly with a doctor. Don't wait that long, it can be solved sooner and is completely normal.
 
SpecialK_ said:
If it keeps occurring, you can be prescribed beta blockers. These are a temporary fix to your day as they only last about 4-8 hours truly in my opinion but they solve the issue you have. These do however play with your heart, to which extent I'm unsure. But at your age they are a much better option than the likes of benzos which will ruin you. If you're getting that sort've dreaded/racey feeling and just uncomfortableness in a normal situation I found this is what they worked best for.

If this is a recent thing, as best as you can wait and ride it out. There's a lot of things that go on in your life that while you think aren't having an affect really are subconsciously, you could be having a tough time. But, if you did wait and ride it out for a few months and there is no fix go see your doctor because it takes a few visits for them to actually get onto doing something as they'll give you a similar ride it out response.

However, it's always better to try and deal with these things naturally rather than with drugs. My friend who suffered with Agoraphobia (Fear of going outside) and he claimed that the only way to fix it was to just get outside and force himself to interact. Understandably it'll be hard, but explain to any of your friends too if you trust them enough. Anxiety aint exactly something people make fun of most are understanding.

But keep in mind your age too, but also if it continues to solve it. I remember realizing potentially I had anxiety/depression at the age of 14-15 and used recreational drugs to try and solve it for many years before just going and getting it solved properly with a doctor. Don't wait that long, it can be solved sooner and is completely normal.
Click to expand...
Seee the Problem is i dont know for how Long i have had them now. I think I use to be fine I was hyper active and didn't have much of enough of what I have now. So I got pills that put me in this not really sad but fuck it state of mind. I felt quit concentrated didn't want to shout or talk it just made me feel like shit. I and I got the same feeling yesturday I was sitting in the train to go to this girl that wanted to smoke weed with me. So I called here at least a billion times and she didn't answer and because I hate waiting and I'm always the late one I just got out a train stop earlier and net to a other friends house which took that feeling away.

I think I have always had this problem. It just wasent always this bad. It started getting real bad after Dxm(I was high for a long time because insedently took it with a pain med which made me be high or in weird state of mind for about 6 months until it was totally normal again.). It started with a highly raised hart beat and that is when I knew I had anxiety. Since then it was allot worse then before. I remember someone mentioning that drugs woulnd cause these problems they would only make them stonger. I don't know of its true but it fits me.



And thx
RobotRipping
 
The Golden Opiate said:
I was the same way for years when I was a teenager.

The magic is all in experience. The more experience you have talking to people, the more talking you do. Experience is the cure to fear. I forced myself to talk to people for years, and because of that, I finally feel comfortable talking to people. If you really want to feel socially comfortable, you're going to have to really want it... and work for it. It won't come to you any other way.
Click to expand...

This is so accurate. I have struggled with social anxiety for most of my life. The only way to overcome this is by talking to everyone and anyone and seeing just how simple it can be. Daily meditation also helps tremendously.
 
Yeah, you have to quit drugs, but (in my opinion) for MORE than the reasons stated above.
Yes, you need expierence. Yes, your age plays a part. Yes, you might need therapy (so what?).
But, yes you also need a psychiatrist. If your social anxiety (and I'm not saying you suffer from an anxiety disorder) is so bad you need drugs to cope, then a (GOOD and unsderstanding, and I can't stress this enough) Doctor should be able to help you. If you might do with just therapy, then a good doctor should be able to tell you that's what you need and refer you to someone.
I know a little bit about social anxiety from experience: when I was your age I once had to get drunk just to walk past some girls I didn't know, inside my own house (friends of my sister) and without even saying 'hi' (I was so drunk I wouldn't talk because I couldn't.
By the time I was 18 I had to quit college (in my first University) after getting a scholarship and after just a week, just because I was so anxious around people I couldn't take it anymore.
So, you need professional help? Maybe not (I was an extreme case) but a real professional will tell you if you don't.
Regards!
 
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