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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I feel like im down a hole!

A

andyn6990

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
37
Location
Cornwall, UK
Hi my names Andy ive been taking drugs (legal highs cathinones, coke, amphetamine) and alcohol on and off for the last few years never on a daily basis but was heavy binges now and again, I finally knew i had to stop or i was gonna die or end up being in a psyche ward, but its the withdrawal that makes me want to kill myself im drained of all emotion and feel pretty empty inside , i also have this annoying buzzy sound in my head for some reason , Im just over 3 weeks since my last binge but am worried how long im going to be feeling like this? Have i damaged my brain? How long does it take till my feelings start coming back and i start feeling better? :(
 
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Hey Andy, welcome to bluelight :) Have you thought about seeking professional help?
 
I heard it can take up to three months to fully flush most drugs out your system. Sounds mythical, but it makes sense. You really just need a long ass break to get your head straight.

Hey man, you made it to the new year. You can start fresh and try to change. Try not to relapse, but if you do remember it aint the end of the world.

Maybe you should try seeing a psychologist and they can help you keep yourself in check. They are great third party advice without judgement. Ya just need some support man.
 
Whatever damage you've done will only get worse if you continue your current behavior. The sooner you stop destructive behavior and you start living healthy, the sooner you will begin to feel better.

NOBODY can tell you with any certainty just exactly when you will start feeling better. In my experience, asking yourself when it will get better each day is like watching a pot of water and waiting for it to boil. It "seems" to take alot longer when you're anxiously awaiting it.

If you simply do the next right thing each and every day, knowing that it will get better in due time however long that may take, then it will eventually get better. Good luck!
 
i know how you feel, when i was doing mephedrone combined with alcohol too much for many years it drained me of emotion, i felt empty, depressed, unmotivated, heart palps, anxiety, paranoid for weeks after. it fucked me emotions up. i still go through random episodes of feeling manicly depressed now, im not sure if its drug related or not.
when you stop taking them you will see improvement but it does take awhile. i recommend a healthy diet, supplement such as 5-htp and lots of omega 3, ginko bibola. exercise. i haven't touched anything apart from alcohol for many months and i feel much healthier, clearer thinking, more focused, no heart palps. really need to cut down on alcohol consumption though
 
Thanks so much for the replies yep ive been on anti depressants well i was for 7 years but came of them got my emotions bk then took drugs again stupidly and then crashed horribly went docs and he put me on sertraline which helped straight away but i think this is making me even more numb ,i just wish i could feel like i did when i was 20 again :-(, its wierd it feels like ive had my life ive always lived for euphorisa im 25 now and i dont feel the buzz i used too, i have no life coz ive suffered from anxiety and depression and im housebound pretty much so i think like maybe its time for me to die :-(, Im serious its taken me about 6 years to get to this position and i feel like theres no way out! Im thinking bout just gettin some coke meth and such and get so euphoric like i love overdose on it and die if that makes sense
 
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It is quite difficult to say. I have had all of the symptoms you described, yet it has mostly gone away even though I still use drugs (albeit far fewer). You have probably damaged your brain, but permanent time away from drugs, and having a healthy lifestyle in all the ways you've heard of, will cause drastic improvements over time. It takes months, or years, but you'll start feeling emotions which you thought were long gone (I know it caused a lot of anxiety for me at one point). I have only been doing drugs for two years but for a period of a good six months I went completely ape and had a good taste of the horrors of long-term drug addiction.
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Even though things may not seem quite as they were before you used drugs, much of it will come back and much of the anxiety related to thinking about that will go away, definitely worth it, but you have to be strong and patient, and willing to put effort into getting healthier. it doesn't come instantly. p.s. being healthy in most or all of the main ways gives a very noticeable improvement over just eating healthily, or just sleeping well, etc.
 
I know you may not have been serious when you expressed your desire to OD but please do not attempt it. First off it will be an EXTREMELY unpleasant experience if you OD on stimulants like coke and amphetamines, it won't take your pain away.

A lot of people have crawled out of holes as deep as yours and are relieved they did so and never committed suicide, there are many such people on this forum, especially in TDS.
 
M8 i think you may be right ive read up on depersonalization but wasnt sure but although the drugs have numbed my feelings i was having panic attacks a while bk and my emotions shut off and ive felt disconnected ever since ,whatever this is its a living nightmare
 
Yeah, I'm currently going through post-mephedrone depression and it BLOWS. I went overboard on both meph and methylone last month and decided to take this month off, never imagining it would be this hard. I could barely move the first couple of days, now I'm just moving really slowly! The fatigue is unbearable even with my backup stim (propylhexedrine) and caffeine.

I take Prozac off and on as needed to deal with post-MDMA (and similar drugs) depression, which works better than nothing. I'm sure you'd have no problem getting a prescription for an SSRI if that's the route you wanna try. They definitely have their downsides, but can really help with the serotonin dip that happens after an empathogen bender.
 
I abused similar drugs to you for 1.5 years. (Mephedrone and GBL mostly, Alcohol, Benzos and Cannabis also). Mephedrone stopped May 2010, GBL November 2010, the others are on-going. :\ I can't say for certain but for me personally as soon as I kicked the Mephedrone things started to get better. October of this year I was back to feeling really good. Unfortunately a relapse with a bunch of benzos and smoked MDPV set me back pretty far, plus I started to get into opiates too, so it's hard for me to gauge totally accurately, but I'd say 3-4 months after quitting the Mephedrone and not yet being into opiates too much I was feeling at my best. This was aided by exercise and healthy eating/sleeping habits, as well as a full time job which always kept me busy so I never felt like I was wasting my life away. It takes a long time. 3 weeks is not close but you should start to notice things coming back slowly. Shakes going away, smells and tastes coming back, etc.
 
Yeah i used to like methylone had a really good buzz like mdma , but the comedowns were horrific i could hardly move after a binge on that , i went stupid on methylone 1 time didnt sleep and ended up with a psychosis luckily i was living with my parents at the time and they looked after me if i was on my own i would have continued to take more and psychosis would have continued, I do miss the cathinones though i wish methylone was still legal :-(
 
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