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I feel like I need a big change in my life, an epiphany. I live in sadness.

Ibogaine

Have you heard of Ibogaine(Iboga Plant)definitely worth looking into.Google "Ibogaine"
 
I'm quite fucking surprised you guys are considering drugs as the first option.

Consider how beautifully complex and diverse life is and how lucky you are to be part of it. Challenge yourself with new activities, ideas. Submerge yourself in your areas of interest, wonder at the marvels of science, arts or something completely else.

Life is far too short to waste, so go out there and chase all the dreams you can (while of course maintaining your sustainability/job). And do yourself a favor and steer clear of any kind of afterlife excuses for not giving it your best shot while you're here.

Best wishes, and as others have said: please don't victimize yourself. You've only got this chance, so you better start making the best of it! :)
 
Lucky to be apart of life eh? Were are you, on an island somewhere with no worries!? I feel what your saying, but the costs of living make life HELL, if it wasn't for the super high costs of just putting a shitty roof over your head, and basic necessities, well then life would be wonderful. We work just to work with no benefit, we work with no fun, work some more, get tired of it, get fired, start all over again. Thats my America.....
 
Opioid420z said:
...the costs of living make life HELL, if it wasn't for the super high costs of just putting a shitty roof over your head, and basic necessities, well then life would be wonderful. We work just to work with no benefit, we work with no fun, work some more, get tired of it, get fired, start all over again. Thats my America.....
Click to expand...
+1
compared to many ppl, i'm doing good, on paper. but i still feel like opioid420z said, "work some more, get tired of it, get fired, start all over again." and over and over and over... just banging my head into a wall again and again, w/out any thoughts beyond getting one foot to follow the other. i had some goals and reached them but i still felt/feel empty. "the grayness" is nothing new and is not connected to how well or how crappy other parts of life are going. i don't remember any time in my life that i didn't feel the grayness, emptiness, w/e. i'm sure there's some amount of genetics involved but it's much more than what genes can possibly explain.
for a time i believed if i worked hard, did the "right" things, made good choices, etc, etc, that life would no longer be gray. part of me wants to hang on to that idea but alone in the dark i really don't believe the gray will ever leave.
-izzy
 
I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon here and recommend a drug... then the specific class of DRUg within that drug to do.

You should smoke joints everyday.

Specifically, Sativa buds... i.e "heady" such as some haze... (I highly recommend mango haze from Mr. Nice)

hehe all joking-ness aside... You love what you do.. you're about to get PAID...all your hard work is about to pay off... and you can't be a little happy? hahaha CMON......seriously... you're just jaded from the long years Doc.... :D.... go out there and save the world
 
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